Lemonade and Lifelines: Tarrine's Tale of Single Motherhood, OnlyFans, and Resilience

When life hands you lemons, you've got to be like Tarrine – single mom, technical recruiter by day, and OnlyFans content creator by night – who not only makes lemonade but also runs a lemonade stand. Our latest episode is a heartfelt journey with Tarrine , a woman who's battled domestic violence and the complexities of sex work while raising her young son with a focus on men's mental health and emotional intelligence. We take a hard look at stigmas, societal pressures, and the indomitable spirit required to tackle these challenges head-on.

Strap in for a raw and enlightening exploration of the realities faced by single parents moonlighting in industries often shrouded in judgement. Tarrine opens up about the highs and lows of her dual career paths and the impact they may have on family dynamics as her child grows up. From the scare of an unpredictable pregnancy and labor to emerging from the shadow of domestic abuse, Tarrine's story is one of courage and the unyielding pursuit of stability and happiness for herself and her son. 

As we wrap up, Tarrine and I share nuggets of wisdom on the little things that make a big difference – the tranquility found in a breath, the laughter over video games, and the adventures that await outside, regardless of the weather. This episode is not just a conversation; it's a lifeline of support and a beacon of hope for anyone navigating similar paths. Join us for an episode that promises to resonate, empower, and maybe even change the way you approach life's battles.

Head to the podcast Instagram and hit the bio link to sign up for preorder today.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

We would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of this land. We pay our respects to the Elders, past, present and emerging, for they hold the memories, the traditions and the culture of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people across the nation. Warning this podcast contains explicit language and discusses sensitive topics related to mental health childhood trauma, birth trauma, abuse, miscarriage and suicide. Listener discretion is advised. If you find these subjects distressing or triggering, we recommend taking caution and considering whether to proceed with listening. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted individual for support. Your wellbeing is our priority.

Speaker 1: 0:46

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Touched Out podcast. Today we have Taryn, a single mother to her two-year-old son, Keith. Taryn and I discuss her journey from pregnancy and birth to enduring and ending a DV relationship. Taryn discusses the intricacies of being a single parent whilst being an OnlyFans content creator, and how she navigates the potential impact on her son as he grows up. We also discuss men's mental health and how the need to teach emotional intelligence from a young age is integral to children growing into adults who are confident in expressing and communicating their emotions tough.

Speaker 2: 1:21

So take a breath from everything right here and take some time. It's alright, you'll be fine after a touch of a cat. Take all night.

Speaker 1: 1:58

So today we have Taryn. Taryn is from Washington.

Speaker 3: 2:03

Yes.

Speaker 1: 2:04

Yes, and Taryn has a two-year-old boy named Keith. Thank you so much for joining me. How are you going?

Speaker 3: 2:10

I'm going great, I am living the dream. I'm kid-free tonight so that I can host this podcast. That's pretty exciting. Or co-host, or feature, I don't know what to call it. How are you?

Speaker 1: 2:23

I'm good. Thank you, Kid-free. That's awesome.

Speaker 3: 2:25

Yeah, pretty awesome, my mom picked him up from daycare today, and so I've worked past midnight every night this week, so I'm like I finally get a night off off.

Speaker 1: 2:34

Yeah, awesome, that's so good. So tell me a little bit about you and your family and what you do and how you guys survive.

Speaker 3: 2:42

How we survive. Man well, are we surviving? I think we're thriving. That's what I tell everyone.

Speaker 1: 2:48

That's perfect.

Speaker 3: 2:48

I try to do more than survive. Keith and I are it. That is our full family. I was married to his dad, and his dad got arrested for domestic violence, and so he is no longer in the picture. And yeah, so it's just me and Keith, and I am a technical recruiter at Microsoft, which keeps me really, really busy, and I also most aren't OnlyFans. Those are my two sources of income Kind of makes up for not having another source of income most of the time.

Speaker 1: 3:18

Okay, cool. And how long have you been with Microsoft?

Speaker 3: 3:21

That's a great question. 16 months, so just over a year.

Speaker 1: 3:24

Okay, and what does that entail?

Speaker 3: 3:26

It's normally like an eight to five job. I get to talk to people all day. I don't do any headhunting, but I like screen candidates before they go to the hiring manager phase and then help get them set up for interviews. I do a lot of back screening as well. It's a lot of paperwork but a lot of talking to people, which is what I really enjoy doing. I love talking to people.

Speaker 1: 3:46

Awesome, and I imagine OnlyFans would be almost the same, just with a little bit of less clothing.

Speaker 3: 3:52

Yeah, it's the same. I just get to wear silky panties. Well, actually I can wear whatever panties I want in my other job.

Speaker 1: 4:01

Yeah, that's it, yep. So I guess we'll dive straight into the question that everyone wants to know Fans, how do you navigate doing OnlyFans as a single mother? Do you have any thoughts on being a parent with an OnlyFans? Are you worried about? Once Keith grows up a little bit? He's going to find out. How will you navigate that conversation?

Speaker 3: 4:24

Yeah, that's a great question. I get asked that all the time. That's probably like the most common question I get is like what happens if he finds out when he's older? Like what are you going to do? And it's like the reason that a lot of people tell me to take it down right, like this is inappropriate, you shouldn't do this.

Speaker 3: 4:38

But the way I see it is that I think that having this as a second income is better than like bringing another partner in who could potentially harm us. Like it makes more sense for me to just like figure it out on my own, and I have, like I figured it out without a second person, and so that is. It's been really nice that it has worked as that second income, even if it's not a full income. All the time. It does, you know, fill in the gaps. It pays the groceries or whatever else that I need. So that's really nice. And I think that you know I'm planning to raise him to be sex positive and like understand what everything means. I don't think that it would be like a oh, my mom did this and this is terrible.

Speaker 1: 5:18

It's like, oh, well, that's what my mom did to put food on the table, you know yeah, yeah, I think think with Keith's generation, hopefully they'll grow up without that stigma of sex work and seeing it as a negative thing, like oh, your mom's a slut, kind of thing.

Speaker 3: 5:35

I mean hopefully, which isn't the way to go. Ideally he won't find out at all, but if he does, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 5:46

I think even if kids do find out that might be a little bit of a better thing to maybe rein their internet usage in, they won't go. They won't go seeking it out a little bit more than what, what we probably did growing up.

Speaker 3: 5:56

I'll be a little bit more careful of the things they click on well, it's so much easier to seek it out now than it used to be because I reckon I mean I didn't even really know what porn or like any of that was as a kid, right like as a young kid, and when I was a nanny man, it was six years ago, five, six years ago there was an 11 year old that was addicted to it and he was homeschooling like I was homeschooling these kids and their his mom was like, yeah, you can't let him on the laptop without you know, watching him the whole time, because he's watching this and I'm like, oh lovely, that's exactly what 19 year old me wanted to hear so, 11 year old, an 11 year old person, you were nannies.

Speaker 1: 6:38

What introduced you to porn?

Speaker 3: 6:43

you know, there is a reason I'm not a nanny anymore very interesting.

Speaker 1: 6:48

Well, I for one am very sex positive and I think sex work is an incredibly legitimate income and an incredibly legitimate profession, and I think it takes a lot of fucking bravery, uh, to do something, especially when it is one of the things that is the most against the grain in our normal society if you want to call it normal, abnormal society. So I tip my hat to you for that. Yeah, it takes a special someone to be able to do that, especially as a mother or a father.

Speaker 3: 7:20

For sure it does. And it's interesting, I've lost I've definitely lost friends from it. I've had friends like you know be like oh, I can't be friends with you anymore because you're doing this. And I'm like, well, you know, you learn who your true friends are and see who's willing to support you through. Because at the time microsoft it's a big company, like at the time I started, they had been doing a ton of layoffs and my hours got cut from 40 to 32. So, like I know, I needed to make up that income somewhere and it just worked out that, like everything fell into place at the right time. And then now it's like okay, well, I probably don't have to do it anymore now that I'm back up to 40 hours, but it's why stop now?

Speaker 1: 7:58

Yeah, yeah, I mean the income once you kind of get on a roll it's, it's pretty incredible, yeah, incredible, yeah.

Speaker 3: 8:20

I really like I started after I popped off on tiktok, which happened when I decided to dip my boobs in the snow as a joke. My friend sent me a video and they're like oh, I bet you won't do this and I'm like watch me I did see that video. Yes, hard to miss.

Speaker 1: 8:37

Yeah, so that one. So that's what kicked off the OnlyFans, is it so, tiktok? You gained the big following on there and then you were like OnlyFans.

Speaker 3: 8:46

Yeah. So my TikTok prior to that video had less than 400 followers. Like I really didn't post very often, I really did post that as a joke and and it popped off and a ton of people were asking for my OnlyFans. But because my TikTok hadn't been super popular, I had my Snapchat in my bio and so then all these people were messaging me like asking for nudes, whatever. And I was like, yeah, I'll send you, you know, like kind of as a joke I didn't think anyone would buy, you know, nudes whatever. I was like, yeah, I'll send you, you know, a front photo for $20. And so many people like I probably made $300 in one day just selling the same photo.

Speaker 1: 9:25

Yeah, awesome, I appreciate the hustle, I really do.

Speaker 3: 9:31

That is one thing I don't do anymore. I don't talk to anyone on Snapchat anymore, because it was too much it got to the point where I had like 600 people who just wanted me to and then they'd get upset. I didn't message back right away and I'm like I can't. I can't do this. You know that was not tangible.

Speaker 1: 9:46

Yeah, certainly so. I guess OnlyFans is is great in the fact that it's kind of like set price you get to choose your own stuff, you don't owe anyone your time and like things like Snapchat. I think people see it as a lot more personal, so they think that them giving you money means that you owe them time.

Speaker 3: 10:10

Yeah, well, and it was my personal Snapchat. So then, like the friends and relationships, like Clea, her and I had a Snapchat streak for forever and we ended up losing it because I was just so like busy trying to respond to everyone and then I got so burnt out so I was like I can't do this anymore.

Speaker 1: 10:27

Yeah, definitely so you did mention Clea. That's how we know each other. You're actually the first person to feature on the Touched Out podcast twice, which is cool. So if anyone listening remembers, back in episode four with Clea, taryn is her best friend, who they were hanging out together in the hotel after the couple nights at the Hobbit Hotel.

Speaker 3: 10:49

Yeah, yeah, the Hobbit house. It was so fun. Yeah, yeah, clea's the coolest and she did get us introduced.

Speaker 1: 10:56

Yeah, shea's the coolest and she did get us introduced. Yeah, she's awesome and excuse me, so, since episode four and since the podcast with Clea, we'll do a little quick update with Clea. So her husband did return home, is that right?

Speaker 3: 11:09

Yes, and he's gone again now.

Speaker 1: 11:10

He's gone again. Yeah, it was a very short-lived visit, but I'm sure it was really great for her to be able to catch up with her husband and they got some family photos done, I think, which was really really beautiful.

Speaker 3: 11:23

They did and she, like I think she realized while he was there how much she had really been missing, because it wasn't very long after their second child was born that he left. And now, like he comes home and he's putting the kids to bed and she's like I can take a bath. I can do this for five minutes, you know, which is what parenting should look like when there's two people in the home. So it's really beautiful, and we go to the park together and he even helps with my son, so then it's like like when it's three of us on three kids, it's like, oh, this is easy, we got that, we got the adult to kid ratios Good.

Speaker 1: 11:57

Yeah, no, it would have been awesome. It's sad that he's gone again, but you know you got to do what you got to do for the family, right?

Speaker 3: 12:04

You do. Unfortunately he will. This trip is shorter, I believe. I think he's coming back sooner. This is just for training.

Speaker 1: 12:11

Yeah, awesome. So let's get into a little bit about your history and we'll talk about the pregnancy of Keith and the birth. And why don't you run me through that story? Because I know you did want to talk about some hardships you endured during pregnancy.

Speaker 3: 12:27

Yeah for sure. So I got pregnant right after my ex came back from Korea. He was in the military and I got pregnant. And as soon as I got pregnant and I had my first appointment, I found out I also got chlamydia as soon as he came back, which was less than ideal. I had been, we were dating at that point, not married, and I had been only with him and he had obviously stepped out, which was, you know, a choice that he made and we we decided, okay, well, we're having a kid, like we need to figure things out essentially anyways. And we ended up getting married at when I was 15 weeks pregnant and that's kind of when I noticed like a switch in him, like things had changed and there was a few instances that happened, name calling, things were thrown.

Speaker 3: 13:16

But at 36 and a half weeks pregnant he took his forearm and essentially pushed it down on my neck so that I couldn't breathe and it was considered strangulation and yeah. So that caused me to start early labor at 36 and a half weeks. So I was in early labor for three and a half weeks. I was stuck at three and a half centimeters Prior to getting pregnant. Labor for three and a half weeks I was stuck at three and a half centimeters Prior to getting pregnant. I was told it would never happen for me Because I had so much scar tissue in my uterus.

Speaker 3: 13:46

I had a miscarriage. It'll be. Oh, I guess it just hit. Eight years ago In May I had a miscarriage and so because of that and my endometriosis, they said you'll never be able to have babies. And then so Keith was definitely a surprise. He was not a planned pregnancy, but having kids was something we had talked about doing. But anyway. So the scar there was scar tissue that was preventing my uterus from dilating any further, which caused Keith to just cook a little bit longer than my body wanted him to cook, and it caused for a very stressful end of my pregnancy.

Speaker 1: 14:26

So the birth itself? Was it a C-section?

Speaker 3: 14:28

No, they were able to cut the band and I was able to have a normal vaginal delivery.

Speaker 1: 14:35

Okay, and Keith was delivered, all healthy.

Speaker 3: 14:38

When he was first born the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice. It was long enough to get around twice. So he wasn't breathing when he was first born. But it was pretty quick that they were able to get that out from around his neck and then we did chest to chest and he was fine after that. But there was a point when he was not breathing and they definitely were talking about going to C-section. The doctor looked at me and she goes most first time moms push for two hours, like two to two and a half hours. You don't have two and a half hours. You know you got to get this baby out or we're going to cut this baby out.

Speaker 3: 15:11

So and C-section was something that you were actively against or what was your frame of mind in that? No, so after three and a half weeks of labor, I was, I was pretty done when I got to the hospital. I wasn't progressing and I like they're like you're still at a three and a half. You were at a three and a half four days ago when you were here. This is an active labor. Like they thought I was losing it and thankfully the nurse who admitted me found the band.

Speaker 3: 15:35

So the only reason I think that Keith is even here today is because she found the band when she did, because, had she not, then his heart rate was dropping with every contraction because the band that was around his neck twice was strangling him essentially. Obviously very thankful for her and I'm thankful for the whole medical team. But at that point when I was in the hospital, I looked her in, like I looked a nurse in the eye and I said they, when they were like you haven't progressed, I was like I don't care if you have to cut this baby out of me, like get him out Right now Like.

Speaker 3: 16:10

I'm done and my stepmom's a labor and delivery nurse, so she was actually, thankfully enough, she decided to go get her doula certificate. She's amazing. I just call her Debra. I think it's weird to say stepmom. My parents split up when I was 18 and they both got remarried and so, like I have, like I have Terry and Debra. I don't have a stepmom and a stepdad, but that's how she fits in. But yeah, she was there for my birth.

Speaker 1: 16:43

And my birth, and that helped a lot too, just having that person who, like a, knew what they were doing and talking about and b was there to support. Yeah, good. Well, I'm glad that keith was delivered in the end. All all good now. Totally fine if you don't want to talk about your ex, but after the strangulation, what did that relationship look like? Did you, did you him then? Was that when he was charged? Was that when he went to jail?

Speaker 3: 16:59

No, so I didn't leave him then. That's not when he was charged or when he went to jail. So because he was in the military, I knew he would lose his job if I called the police. And that was kind of always in the back of my mind is like, okay, well, I can't call the police on him, like I don't want him to lose his job.

Speaker 3: 17:14

And at that point I mean I was so hormonal and I was so pregnant. I was like, well, maybe I am the problem, like maybe you know, like maybe almost like I deserved it and I didn't tell anyone about it. That was a very like, that was a very private thing to me. And arguments in general, I mean there's so many sources and so many people who say like, oh, you shouldn't talk negatively about your partner, you know, that kind of thing and that kind of shielded me from feeling comfortable to talk about it. So and I was like, well, it's a one time thing, like maybe it'll never happen again. You know, justifying all the things in my head of like, oh well, you know he's normally fine and this isn't normal. But yeah, I mean I wish. Looking back, obviously I'm like man, I wish I would have left. And there was a lot of those instances that happened where I'm like I wish I would have left then. That time, that time I should have left. And it wasn't just abuse like, it was physical abuse, it was emotional abuse.

Speaker 3: 18:13

He continued to cheat on me throughout our whole relationship. Three weeks postpartum he was on tinder and someone messaged me like, hey, so I just matched with your husband on tinder. He's kind of an idiot. Because he posted a photo of his uniform and then he posted, um, you know his profile, and so in his uniform it has his last name on it and they're like it was really easy to find him on facebook. I'm like, well, at least he's an idiot across the board and not just to me. Um, no-transcript, I know that that like psychologically can affect a child and so that's, you know, just thinking about all the times that he saw that and he saw the way that I was being treated and thinking is this how I want my kid to treat someone one day? And it's not. And I want him, if he's going to have a relationship in his like, if he's going to visualize and see a relationship, I want it to be a healthy one.

Speaker 1: 19:38

Certainly. Thank you for sharing it with me. That's not an easy thing to talk about and it's something that's not talked about. And not an easy thing to talk about and it's something that's not talked about and I wouldn't say not talked about enough. But you know, because of the trauma involved it's very, very hard to talk about. But it is something that needs to be talked about more especially in society. So it's not as hard for other people hearing these types of stories to relate and realize that you know it is possible to get help and you don't have to carry that burden all by yourself. So I mean I'm glad that you were able to get out of that situation with Keith, both happy and healthy.

Speaker 1: 20:15

Unfortunately in the world it doesn't always go that way for domestic violence survivors and you know there is a lot of backlash and there's people that don't believe them and then there's, you know, the men saying you know they're just trying to take my kids away, like the gaslighting and all of that. So it's really really hard kind of thing to navigate. But I think what's most important is that, yet again, that early intervention kind of thing. You know your story was kind of around, so it was around 12 months of you dealing with that abuse. Is that right?

Speaker 3: 20:50

Yeah, so March 6th was the first incidence of 2021. And then February 7th was the day that I was like you got to leave.

Speaker 1: 20:59

And what did that look like? Did you just pack your stuff and get out?

Speaker 3: 21:03

So it was a week after he had thrown the scissors and the knife. He had had covid when that happened and so, because he had had covid, I had to then go get tested and all my test results and everything they were through the military and so I had to go on his computer because that's where the logins were for everything and he knew I would be going on his computer that day. I'd already tested positive at this point a few days prior. But I was nannying part time, just two days a week. It was like eight hours a week that I was basically watching my friend's kid I don't even know if I could call it nanny, so part time, but I was just doing that super part time.

Speaker 3: 21:40

And for me to go back, they wanted me to go get tested again and see if I was negative prior to, you know, going and being around their family which is totally fair, going into their home and being in their daughter's space and, you know, playing with the kids and stuff. And so I had gone on his laptop or on his computer and while I was in his computer, like automatically a chat box popped up and it was some other girl who had been sending nudes and I was like, okay, you know it's not gonna stop ever. It doesn't matter. We had just bought a home together, like all of these things had just happened, and so it's like it doesn't matter. You know where things are with us. It happened right after Keith was born. It happened while he was in Korea. It's happening again now, right after we bought a home together.

Speaker 3: 22:28

And I'm like I can't keep living like this. And so I told him. I was like please don't come home. You can come, you can get your stuff. I'll like I'll leave for a few hours or whatever. You can come get your stuff, but you need to tell me when you're coming. And you know, like this is basically this is it? And so she or sorry. So then he did end up coming home and I was like you have to leave, like you can't just be here and like continue to cheat on me, whatever. And he came home in the middle of the day and then he ended up.

Speaker 3: 22:59

I opened the door to the office and we were in an argument and he ended up kicking me in the stomach and I was just like I called the cops that was kind of it. Like it was, there were so many other things going on and the cops he was still in uniform when they showed up and they kind of were like well, he says that you kicked the door down and that's why he kicked you, so it was self-defense, and so if we arrested him, we'd have to arrest you too. And I'm I'm still actively breastfeeding Keith was solidly breastfed until he was almost right under two if he weaned himself. And so it was like I was like, stuck between a rock and a hard place, like, okay, I finally reached out for help and now no one's helping me. So we, at that point he moved to the barracks and he was still paying at least like the utility bills. We didn't have a mortgage payment yet and I was like, okay, I got to get a job. And when he finally moved to an apartment, that's when I started my job with Microsoft three days later, so I didn't even have a full-time income.

Speaker 3: 24:00

When we split up, and we were still like quasi cordial at that point and I was trying to make it work co-parenting wise for Keith, and I was like, if you want alone time with him, you have to, you know, go anger management, whatever, like this is what you need to do. And then one day we were going to get the tabs for the cars and I needed him there with me because the cars were both in his name. And so I was like, hey, like, but I need you to print out your LES, which is just like the military's fancy way of saying pay stubs to prove that you're in the military, because it gives us a discount on the tabs, otherwise they're gonna be like $400. And he was like okay, and he bought a printer and he didn't buy paper. And then he was mad at me. He didn't buy paper. And then he was mad at me because he didn't buy paper. And so he said sometimes I want to take my gun out of the safe and shoot you because he didn't buy paper. And I was like this isn't like.

Speaker 3: 24:52

At this point he also had four sexual partners that I knew about. He'd like openly told me like I'm dating all these women and I'm like great, you go give them diseases. I don't want any anymore, you know. And I didn't really care Like none of that stuff bothers me. I think you should be able to move on from people. Like if that's what you want to do, that's you. I'm just going to keep doing me.

Speaker 3: 25:13

But the fact that there was still abuse going on, even though he had four new partners like I was like this is never going to stop. And so I reached out to his chain of command at that point, command at that point, and I was like I don't know what to do because I don't feel safe. I don't think I'll ever now feel safe, no matter how many anger management courses he takes um for him to be alone with keith, you know, and at the end of the day mine and keith's safety were prominent, because if he did something to harm me, custody would have automatically fallen to him for keith and then keith wouldn't have been safe. And anyone who can get that angry about paper, I mean, I feel like that's the silliest thing, you know.

Speaker 1: 25:50

Yeah, so I mean there's no excuse for the way in which he's behaved, but I do want to ask if you have an opinion on where that behaviour came from. Was that a learned behaviour? Did he grow up?

Speaker 3: 26:07

in an abusive household, do you know? So I know he had trauma when he was an infant. His dad would come around once in a while and like threaten his mom that he was going to throw him in the canal and stuff. And these are all just stories that his mom's told me. You know nothing that he would remember. Necessarily. She told me actually, cause she was telling me in front of him and he's like my dad did what. Like I had literally no idea about any of this, not that, like I said earlier, it doesn't matter how old you are is in brain, in your subconscious. But after that his mom didn't really date and so he was an only child living in a single parent household, kind of like Keith is right now, which a little you know, a little funny, but the way his mom doted on him, I just don't think he had any real idea of what conflict was like. And another thing like that vividly sticks in my brain when he cheated on me when he was, when Keith was three weeks old, I told his mom about it. I was like this is what your kid did. Like I had already at that point bought tickets to go see her in Florida, so it's a six-hour plane ride and I took a five-week-old baby by myself from Washington to Florida and back just so that he could, so that Keith could meet his you know at the time Grammy. But I did it by myself and so like I look back on that and I'm like I had all these things that I was doing already by myself. So I was like kind of like I was basically already a single parent.

Speaker 3: 27:31

But she told me, when he was a baby and her and her ex had split up, that her sister told her don't cry with the baby in your arms. It's not like the baby's gonna know you're upset and that's not good for the baby. Then the baby's going to know what being upset is. Basically, and I think she genuinely just suppressed her feelings so much and she didn't say this she's like that's what I needed to do, that's what she told me. You know, I need to set the baby down. I can't be upset while I have the baby.

Speaker 3: 27:59

And I'm like, and I told her at one point when, after we had separated, right before court and everything, I told her I was like no, actually I don't set Keith down when I'm upset. I say mom's upset right now and I don't know what else to do with my body. So you know, I'm crying a little bit and it's okay to be upset. So I just think that, like those big emotions were suppressed so much that he didn't have the ability to feel them. And I think that's really common, especially in men, where you're told you know, you fall down, oh, you better get back up Rub some dirt on it.

Speaker 1: 28:31

Yep Stiff upper lip.

Speaker 3: 28:32

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 28:34

It's absolutely incredible how common it is. And even with me growing up I didn't have a grasp of all of the different emotions. And you know you've got like your main emotions happiness, sadness, anger, etc. But then all of the emotions that come in the subcategories that aren't talked about and they kind of If you don't learn them from a young age, they fall into this weird shame category and when you don't know what they are and you don't know how to express them, when you don't know what they are and you don't know how to express them, you start to feel ashamed and then you default to one of the main categories just as a whole. And if it's a shameful emotion, it's generally going to be sadness or anger, which I think is a massive, massive reason why there's such a men's mental health pandemic worldwide. You know people just aren't able to talk about it, which sucks, which is what I'm trying to change and I'm trying to change that in my children.

Speaker 1: 29:32

I'm trying to make some sort of positive change in society with my involvement with Men's Mental Health Week last week and the Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Organization.

Speaker 1: 29:40

So I had a film crew come to my house and like film my story and everything and that was super cool and it was. It was really cool and everyone you know has said you know it's really brave of you to do and, while I understand people saying that it's such a low bar and it shouldn't be something that's commended or seen as brave, just to talk about your shit, it should just be normal. So it was unfortunate I was my story was published in a lot of like online publications and newspapers, which that story ran really, really well. But there was one news story that was on like our local news all our Australian news channel, wynn TV, and out of like the five or so minutes of footage that this film crew had filmed with me in my home, they used like five seconds and they spun the story as if, when my baby was born, I was scared that I was going to become violent with my baby what yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:44

So it it really really sucks and like. So. I saw that last week and it was like the news anchor was, like you know, matt carter was scared that he was going to hurt his baby. After his baby was born, he was diagnosed with postnatal depression and then, like, the segment they used was just me being like the sound of their cries, cut me, cut cut through me like a knife. And that's the only part they used out of context, nothing else.

Speaker 3: 31:11

So you know, oh no, it made me upset, that my children were upset and I didn't know how to deal with that. That doesn't mean you're going to hurt them? Oh my goodness.

Speaker 1: 31:20

Yeah. So I mean anyone listening that has been listening, knows my story and knows that that's not the way it was. But I mean, my mental health has been pretty shitty for the last like week because of that story. You know, something that was supposed to be really, really positive and helpful to the community was spun in this shitty way to make it seem like I was someone that I'm not. And I know I shouldn't care about what strangers and people around Australia think of me and I know I shouldn't care about what strangers and people around Australia think of me and I have zero doubt in my mind that they have seen that and just completely moved on with their lives. But that sucks because that's a really inaccurate portrayal of who I am as a person and I was never, ever one that there was never even a tiny, tiny part of me that was worried that I was going to be violent with my kids or hurt my kids in any way.

Speaker 3: 32:08

Right, and then talk about mental health-ish. You're already being I don't want to say brave, because, like you said, it should be the standard you should just be able to talk about it. But it's already difficult to talk about your feelings and emotions, especially as a man, because you're seen as whatever the world wants to paint you as, but then for something to not even be accurate and they're spitting something that's not true, that's just not fair. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1: 32:33

It sucks.

Speaker 1: 32:34

But I mean, the rest of the publications were awesome and they told my story accurately, which is super cool. And I have been emailing back and forth with, like the PR team, and and and Panda, and I have told them. You know this is pretty upsetting, the way in which this was portrayed, and you know they've offered their apologies and they, you know, said we're going to, you know, be in contact with the journalist who spun the story in this way to, you know, educate further to make sure that you know stories like this are told accurately. And I just said to them for something that was supposed to be positive and uplifting for our community and for Men's Mental Health Week and to kind of get those types of stories out there. The ball's been dropped pretty hard, so I'm pretty disappointed, but it is what it is. It just kind of showcases that we are still not quite there when it comes to men's mental health and being open and talking about it and everything like that. But you know I'll continue to keep doing the things that I need to do.

Speaker 3: 33:36

And now I know what news channel to not watch while I'm in Australia.

Speaker 1: 33:39

That's it. Yeah, win TV, it's not happening.

Speaker 3: 33:43

They turn that on, I'll be like, nope, I can't watch this.

Speaker 1: 33:50

Yeah, yeah, yeah turn it off.

Speaker 3: 33:51

Seven news. Go to seven news.

Speaker 1: 33:52

Seven news okay that's the one seven news. Seven news is awesome. We have a weather presenter on there named jane bunn and she is great. Everyone loves jane bunn jane bunn her last name is bunn. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, she's awesome, and I'm sure I speak for many men out there that definitely appreciate when Jane Bun tells us about the weather.

Speaker 3: 34:15

Love that. Well, if Jane Bun ever has an OnlyFans account, I'll make sure to let you know, oh Jesus, she would absolutely rake it in, Absolutely rake it in.

Speaker 1: 34:25

She'd be a millionaire overnight, I think.

Speaker 3: 34:29

I love that. I love that.

Speaker 1: 34:33

So let's talk about your current day-to-day. What does your days with Keith look like? What does work days look like? How does working from home parent operate?

Speaker 3: 34:43

Well, for 15 of the 16 months that I've been working from home, I had Keith at home with me, and now he's in daycare full time, which is lovely. Monday was a holiday here and my daycare was closed, but my work was open and I originally was gonna have my mom watch Keith, and she ended up staying out of town an extra day, and so that one day working at home with him made me realize why I could never do it again. I don't know how I did it, but we just managed at that point, like I think I was just still in such survival mode. But thankfully the last month has been pretty good. We moved from our home, which is about 30 minutes from here, to an apartment. We're in a two bedroom apartment now, and daycare is now four minutes away instead of 30 minutes, which is really nice, and so I essentially we wake up whatever time he wakes up.

Speaker 3: 35:36

I normally don't all once in a while, set an alarm if I have a high priority meeting, but most of my meetings don't start until 10. And so I have a little bit of flexibility in my morning, and normally he wakes up earlier, early enough on his own for me to not be late even to start it, but I try and drop him off at daycare so we wake up, we both get dressed, brush our teeth. I normally will grab him some type of snack to eat on the way, and then I drop him off. I come back home I got a fancy new espresso machine, so I make myself an espresso now Instead of buying it. It saves me $6 a day. And then, yeah, my workday is usually really busy. The last few weeks, my legal team has been really nice to me and just wanted me to work even more than I normally do. I don't know if you could sense the sarcasm there. That was a lot of sarcasm, though.

Speaker 1: 36:24

Yeah, oh no, no, it certainly came through. Okay good, it certainly came through, okay good, it's a universal language.

Speaker 3: 36:30

Clea does not speak. Sarcasm, that is a language she does not speak.

Speaker 1: 36:34

Oh, okay, that's the neurodivergence in her.

Speaker 3: 36:38

I speak sarcasm very fluently and sometimes I'll say something and she's like I don't know if you're being serious or not. I'm like I'm not being serious, it's okay. Oh, bless our little cottons. But we both know we have really good intentions for each other. So even when I'm sarcastic and she thinks it might be mean, she's like that's still my best friend. But yeah, so I'm in meetings most of the day. I have a call every hour on the hour from 10am to three, sometimes 4pm, and sometimes those calls last a full hour. So sometimes that like full hour chunk is taken up and then I have a lot of paperwork processing from there to go on.

Speaker 3: 37:14

But I love my job. I get to talk to people who are excited about something which is really cool, and my favorite question to ask people is like well, why do you want to work for Microsoft? And everyone's like well, it's Microsoft and, like you know, they created Xbox. Well, and that's why I think it's so cool, because I'm the youngest of six siblings and because I was the youngest when Xbox first came out. We would all play multiplayer games and I would want to play and they would leave my controller unplugged and I didn't know it for a while I was like three, four and probably around like four or five. I realized I was like, wait, I'm going left and my character is not going left. What's going on? And I realized my thing was unplugged and they're like no, the magic elf is just helping you, and that's what happens sometimes. And so I joke with my siblings. I'm like, yeah, you guys thought I wasn't even good enough to play a game, but who's working there now? Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1: 38:10

I have a little bit of an upper leg there. That's the only ultimate sibling.

Speaker 3: 38:13

Suck it in your faces well, all my brothers are also over six feet tall and my sister's five eight, and I'm five two and so like. Literally, it's the only upper leg I have. All my other legs are short yeah, you're tiny.

Speaker 1: 38:27

I I thought you were taller because of all of like the snaps I will not snaps the insta stories and stuff that I see of you and clea, and she's so much shorter than you so I thought you would you were tall, but you're short and she's just really short. Oh, really, yeah. Oh, I always thought that she was a lot shorter than you she might have like half an inch shorter.

Speaker 3: 38:46

I I'm like five two and a half and I think she's five two on the dot.

Speaker 1: 38:49

Yeah right, my wife is also very, very short. I think when we first matched on Tinder, she had told me.

Speaker 3: 38:57

You guys matched on Tinder.

Speaker 1: 38:59

Yeah, yeah, we were Tinder romances. So, yeah, we matched in. I think I want to say the start of February 2017. We were engaged less than a year later, we were married, pregnant and building a house. Yes, less than a year after that, so within two years, we started a family and built a house. That's fast, yeah very fast.

Speaker 3: 39:27

Do you feel like it's a when you know, you know, or does a part of you or her feel like oof? Maybe we should have waited six more months to have kids and just enjoyed each other a little? No.

Speaker 1: 39:32

No, not at all. Everything felt like. I mean, as far as wishing to wait, there's, you know, there's things like I wish we were able to travel the world together before we had kids, but those things can wait. We can do that once we retire and our kids are grown up. Right, everything fell into place perfectly. We were both very much what each other needed at the time and still to this day Like she's my best friend. But yeah, back to the shortness thing. I remember she told me how tall she was and I remember Googling how tall you have to be or how short you have to be to be legally considered like a little person, and I think she was only like an inch or two off and I was like, oh, I'm going to be dating a little person.

Speaker 3: 40:19

Is Tinder in Australia inches or is it centimetres?

Speaker 1: 40:24

We do feet and inches here. Oh, no, sorry, we kind of go between feet and inches and centimetres, centimetres. We do feet and inches here. Oh, no, sorry, we kind of go between feet and inches and centimetres. Centimetres is the general, but because I think, just because of America and the influence when it comes to height, we go by feet and inches a lot more often.

Speaker 3: 40:40

Okay, that's good to know.

Speaker 1: 40:42

The Australian listeners.

Speaker 3: 40:43

Do I need to convert that? Because I don't think I could.

Speaker 1: 40:46

I can tell you that I'm 5'11" and I don't know how many centimetres that is. I think it's like 178 centimetres, 180, something like that.

Speaker 3: 40:54

I would have guessed 180, yeah, yeah something like that.

Speaker 1: 40:58

But weight we go by kilos and not pounds.

Speaker 3: 41:00

I did know that. It's funny.

Speaker 1: 41:02

I actually happened to look up how many kilos I was earlier today actually happened to look up how many kilos I was earlier today, just in case it came up just going through your head. Like what questions is this guy going to ask me? How tall and how how much do you weigh?

Speaker 3: 41:18

no, I was talking about how, where I was, at what am I heaviest? And I wanted to see how much, or how many kilos I was when I was pregnant, cause I think I was 80 kilos while I was nine months pregnant, like full-term pregnant, um. And so then I was like, oh, I wonder how many kilos I have now. And so I looked it up and I was like, oh, it's so, like it's so weird, and losing 10 kilos is way more than losing 10 pounds. But like tangibly in my head, I'm like they're the same, it's all the same yeah, I remember like, because I also have like an instagram, a weight loss instagram.

Speaker 1: 41:55

So I've lost over the last few years like 40 kilos. I've put a bunch back on, but we won't talk about that. Yeah, and I was big, big boy just after the birth of my first. Yeah, it was 142 kilos, which I think it's pushing like 300 pounds, which is is big. So, yeah, I worked my ass off for it and I always really enjoyed converting my weight loss into pounds because it's a higher number. This is the only thing I like about pounds.

Speaker 3: 42:20

Yeah, I don't like looking at the number that I was, but I like looking at the number that I've lost. It makes you feel better.

Speaker 1: 42:29

That's it, yeah, so, apart from doing the work from home thing, when you don't have work on, what does your days look like? I know that you enjoy being outside with Keith, and you guys are quite a nature oriented family.

Speaker 3: 42:41

Yeah, so not to name drop another podcast. I don't know if I'm allowed to, yeah go for it.

Speaker 3: 42:47

Okay, a Thousand Hours Outside podcast I don't know if I'm allowed'll help me be a better mom and I don't think it'll help Keith be a better kid, not, like you know, more well behaved. I don't necessarily believe in kids sitting down and shutting up. I believe in kids finding all the sticks that they can on the longest walk that you can find to entertain them. Obviously, there's time and a place where I need you to sit down and be quiet, but I try and avoid that time and space to as limited as possible and just let him roam and be free in nature and in the world. And I think it's so rewarding to be outside and so that podcast really like I think it does help me to be outside Like and it's helped me realize, like my mental health struggles if I don't spend at least five hours outside every rain or shine, um, and we have like the full rain suit.

Speaker 3: 43:52

I know you're on my Instagram so you get to see it. I don't have very many people on my Instagram. It's very, very private, for good reason, because I do post a lot about Keith and so I try and keep and like how many. Like you know the normal parks we frequent, you see it it all, and so I'm like, yeah, we don't need any creepers on here, so I do keep it pretty limited. But with that being said, yeah, I think my mental health has increased so much just with like knowing, okay, I need X amount of time outside every week or I'm not going to feel fulfilled at the end of the week. I might be more stressed at the end of the week and like charting that and realizing that, but yeah, so that's what we do Typically. Saturday morning we wake up. I do special breakfast either on Saturday or Sunday, so I'll make either pancakes or waffles or French toast or you know something outside of the norm of like oatmeal or I make breakfast sandwiches a lot like.

Speaker 3: 44:43

Those are like our normal, and I actually just got like a ketchup bottle so I could do character pancakes. So this last Saturday we had Olaf pancakes. I made a little Olaf pancake. It was fun and Keith was pretty excited about it. And then so we'll do special breakfast one of the days, and one of the days we'll have normal breakfast and then we literally just like go outside.

Speaker 3: 45:02

We'll either go on a walk or to the park or do something that involves us being outside until nap time for sure, and so then he naps from noon to three, and the weekends is usually.

Speaker 3: 45:13

I'll either take a nap if I need to catch up on sleep, or I do laundry, or I just, you know, take a minute to breathe myself, I'll watch a show, something like that, because that's pretty much the only time I get that.

Speaker 3: 45:26

I like that like little nap window. I'm like this is the time that I get to myself. It's about me that no one else can tell me what to do, like no one else is telling me what to do, where to go. I'm not like out and about doing something like this is my relaxation period and that's pretty much my, that's my window in the week that I get to me which it's a window and then he wakes up from nap and I grab, I usually will have snacks packed already and we'll go back outside and we'll either go to a park or on a walk or something, a trail, whatever we can find, and we'll do that both Saturday and Sunday, spend literally all day outside, like I said, rain or shine, and usually one of the two days we try and spend with friends outside because I think it's important for him to have little people around him as often as possible so that he can learn how to interact with other people.

Speaker 1: 46:15

Yeah, definitely Awesome. Being outside is something that we need to work on as a family, because both my wife and I do have sensory processing issues. Being inside our house is our safe space. You know, we've got each other as best friends, so we're not the most social of people. With that being said, kids are being looked after by grandma tonight and we are going to a party, and I'm very excited because it's been a while since we've been social and my wife is Dezo driver, so I get to have a few drinks and not be dad for a little bit, which is going to be really cool. I'm very excited.

Speaker 1: 46:53

That is so working on being outside with the kids is something that I need to actively do more, but there's three of them.

Speaker 3: 47:03

Yeah, and you're so outnumbered.

Speaker 1: 47:05

Yeah, there's three of them. So like getting them dressed and getting them ready, because it's winter here and we live in country Victoria and it is cold.

Speaker 3: 47:14

Cold, Very cold. Yeah, the farther south you go in Australia, the colder it is right.

Speaker 1: 47:19

Yeah, I'm not too sure. I think so. Yeah, Queensland's not as cold, but, like because I work night shift as well, Last night it was minus two and rainy and yucky and I hated every bit of it. Just the thought of them going outside in such crappy weather, even if it's out the back like I don't want them to get sick, but it's something that I that's a myth.

Speaker 3: 47:41

It's not true.

Speaker 1: 47:42

Yeah, I know, I know it's easy to fall back on. But it's also easy to fall back on Like, well, they've got daycare today, so like they'll be outside with daycare or kindergarten and that's their outside time, where they get to hang out with their friends as well. But it's not enough. I need to do better. So A Thousand.

Speaker 3: 47:58

Hours Outside, is it Sorry?

Speaker 1: 48:01

A Thousand Hours Outside podcast.

Speaker 3: 48:04

Is that what you said? Yes, they have an Instagram. They have an app too, and that's what helped keep me on track. Is you essentially like you can click it when you go outside and it'll track your time outside and you click it? I'm really bad at doing that. I normally just log the hours later, because I'm bad at remembering to start and stop it, and one time I had like 87 hours on my clock because I had forgotten.

Speaker 1: 48:29

They need to introduce like if it goes over 24 hours, they need to send like a message being like are you homeless, do you need help?

Speaker 2: 48:34

it's not a really good weekend camping maybe stop doing drugs.

Speaker 3: 48:38

You're not supposed to get up for 87 hours.

Speaker 1: 48:40

That's not healthy so it's literally just like you log and you try to have a thousand hours outside per year yeah, exactly and they give you.

Speaker 3: 48:48

It's kind of nice. They give you like incentives, they give you like badges I mean, it's not like anything you actually win, right, and then each badge is a coloring sheet too. We haven't done that yet, and I reckon that that's something that we'll probably do. We'll be more exciting next year. He's just kind of now started coloring Last year year it definitely wouldn't have been like it would have been me coloring the whole picture, but each badge is they get to color, and I have friends with older kids who, um, have done it and they like, let their kid press the button to start the outside time and then they remember for them so they don't have to remember kids memories are so good, just so, so good yeah, well, and like what kid doesn't want to press a button?

Speaker 1: 49:30

Yeah, 100%, that's it.

Speaker 3: 49:32

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 49:33

So you said that you're coming to Australia.

Speaker 3: 49:35

I am coming to Australia.

Speaker 1: 49:36

And when's that happening?

Speaker 3: 49:38

For my 25th birthday. I'm going to Australia, so August. I leave early August and I'll be gone for about two weeks.

Speaker 1: 49:45

Cool, and Keith is coming.

Speaker 3: 49:47

No, Keith is not coming.

Speaker 1: 49:48

Oh, okay, single mum vacation.

Speaker 3: 49:51

Yeah, I feel quasi guilty about it but also like, like it's definitely the right decision. I'm staying with friends I've never met before, who I met on TikTok and so, like, I've had a lot of interaction with them like this over the phone, but no in-person interaction, so I definitely wouldn't bring my toddler across to another continent. I do have a lot of connections in Australia. My brother lived there and played for the Adelaide Adelaide fight the baseball team. He played two seasons, so he was there for six months back for six months and then there again for six months, and so he obviously had a great time and made a lot of friends and connections there. And so, if I like, if there was an emergency and I needed something, I know I could call on one of his friends, but I would prefer not to and I'd prefer just not even to be in that situation with a toddler. Plus the idea of a 17 hour plane ride alone with a 10 year old, that screams yuck thank you.

Speaker 3: 50:47

I'm glad you said it so I didn't have to.

Speaker 1: 50:49

Yeah, no, no, fuck all of that noise.

Speaker 3: 50:53

Yeah, fuck all that noise for real.

Speaker 1: 50:55

So where in Australia are you staying?

Speaker 3: 50:57

I'll be staying in Canberra, but I'm flying into Sydney and so I'll spend a few days in Sydney. We're going to do dinner at the Sydney Tower, go to the zoo. I want to go to as many zoos as I can while I'm in Australia. I really want to try and hold a koala, if I can, or at least see kangaroos in real life. I've seen, like the little what are they called? Wallabies, the little kangaroos? Yeah, seen one of those before, but I've never seen a kangaroo in real life, so I'm excited.

Speaker 1: 51:29

It's so funny. It's so so funny that you know kangaroos and koalas are such a big deal to people that aren't from here.

Speaker 3: 51:32

You're like, I saw like six this morning, can you-.

Speaker 1: 51:33

I literally saw a pack of 30 kangaroos this morning on my way home and I saw a koala running across the road, like last week, like it's just such a normality.

Speaker 1: 51:46

But with that being said, if I came to america and saw a moose or a deer or a bear, I would lose my mind. So it's just. It always makes me laugh how americans are. Like I could never live in australia. You've got so many things that kill you. I'm like, yeah, but you have mountain lions and fucking bears, so like I will say, outside of the zoo, I've never seen a mountain lion.

Speaker 1: 52:12

I have seen a bear, but it was pretty far away yeah, but they've seen you sorry I said, yeah, but they've seen you the mountain lions doubtful yeah, no, it's, it's always, it always makes me I don't like outside.

Speaker 3: 52:27

That much okay, carter.

Speaker 1: 52:29

Yeah, don't be afraid of like snakes and spiders and stuff like that when you come over here. It's not something you need to be worried about.

Speaker 3: 52:36

What do you mean?

Speaker 1: 52:36

it's not something I need to be worried about, Because they're just they're like you might, but they, unless you piss them off, they're not going to try to kill you, Unless you piss them off, they're not going to try to kill you.

Speaker 3: 52:53

I was talking to someone yesterday and they were like I reckon that the snakes, the fear of snakes, is something that's passed down through generations and it's like something that you instill in your kids or like something you know, like that parents give to their kids, whatever, and I'm like I don't think that you understand that. That's how all fears are Like. Every fear that you have was probably gifted to you from your parents anxiety about something, whether it be your fear of heights, and your parents were like that's what you know, like comments like that are what puts fear in our brains, and so parenting sorry reactive parenting reactive parenting.

Speaker 3: 53:25

Yep, I try really hard not to use the words be careful. It's hard, but instead of be careful, I'll be like hey, be mindful of your body. I see a ledge. You're like there's a ledge right there. Be mindful, Because I don't want him to be an idiot, but I also don't want him to be an anxious mess. So you know.

Speaker 1: 53:45

My four-year-old and two-year-old are really really kind of thrill seekers and the amount of stuff they like to jump off and climb up and whatnot is I hate personally Because I was that kid and I have broken most bones in my body since I was a kid. But yeah, I try really hard to let them be and like, as far as telling them I try not to be like, don't do that, you'll hurt yourself, I instead say like if you're going to do that, you need to know you will probably hurt yourself.

Speaker 3: 54:16

Or at least we're going to throw it out as a possibility.

Speaker 1: 54:19

Yeah, like if you keep going, eventually you're going to probably hurt yourself and that's okay, we'll deal with it when that happens, or?

Speaker 3: 54:28

I have seen my child on the on this table.

Speaker 1: 54:30

I can't even and he jumps off oh, wow, okay, my kids wouldn't do that. I think that they would probably be too afraid to do that because they think, oh, I'll get in trouble, excuse me I definitely don't encourage going on the table and jumping off, but it's not something he goes in time out for.

Speaker 1: 54:49

Yeah, I have a nephew who climbs everything and has been climbing since pretty much the day he could walk. So like there would be times where they'd go into the kitchen and see him up like standing on the stove or like I think you know you'd put your chairs up on the table to vacuum and mop and he would climb on the table and then on the chair as well, so he'd be like up near the lights.

Speaker 3: 55:14

He sounds like my child.

Speaker 1: 55:16

Yeah, yep, awesome. So before we wrap up, is there anything else you want to add? Is there anything you want to throw out into the universe, any tips or tricks or advice, or anyone that's going through anything similar?

Speaker 3: 55:30

yeah, two things, um. So I'll start with the piece of advice I give any person who is going through what I was going through, at least with a partner who, like, isn't pulling their weight right. So even like, take away the abusive stuff. Like just someone who's not pulling their weight, it is so much easier to do it by yourself. Even like, take away the OnlyFans, take away the second income. It is so much easier to do it on your own than to have a partner that isn't pulling their weight and, like you want them to do the things and you have these like almost expectations in your brain of what a partner should do and just like, having someone that's not showing up is it's actually worse for having someone not show up than just doing it all by yourself, because I wake up every day and I know I have to do everything. If I don't do the dishes, they're not getting done. If I don't fold the laundry, it's not getting folded.

Speaker 3: 56:19

So I would say that that's my one piece of advice for someone who's going through something similar, and my one thing I want to throw into the universe, throwing it out there, is my upset song. So when my son's really upset and like I can tell he doesn't know what to do with his body. You know like he's hitting things or he's screaming, or whatever it may be. I sing this song, so you are going to get blessed with a song. You're welcome already.

Speaker 3: 56:45

Very excited blessed with a song. You're welcome already very excited. Okay, what do we do when we get upset? We take a deep breath, and we just take a deep breath together. And sometimes it makes him more mad when I sing that and I go, oh, sometimes I'm so upset because we're not talking about his feelings, right, it's not, it's not just about his feelings. I'm like, oh, sometimes I get so upset that I have to take two deep breaths. I'm gonna take two deep breaths, I'm going to take two deep breaths. And so then I take deep breaths and like it not only helps him regulate, but it helps me regulate and be a better parent as well, which is really nice. So that is my song for the universe.

Speaker 1: 57:20

Your song Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that the power of breathing is great. It's something that we're trying to do. We much for sharing that the power of breathing is great. It's something that we're trying to do. We don't have a song, so I'm going to start singing that now.

Speaker 3: 57:32

You are welcome to Awesome.

Speaker 1: 57:33

Well, thank you so much, taryn, for joining me, and thank you for your honesty and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and telling your story. I can't imagine how hard the whole journey has been, and probably continues to be on a day-to-day basis, but you're doing great. Thank you for your time, thank you for sharing your journey and I think that will help a lot of people that are listening and, yeah, thanks.

Speaker 3: 57:59

Thank you for having me. I feel super happy to be here.

Speaker 1: 58:02

Awesome, all right. Well, I'll leave you to your night child-free. Go have some more drinks and have a bath and do your thing, yeah.

Speaker 3: 58:09

And you have some amazing drinks tonight with your wife.

Speaker 1: 58:12

I am going to.

Speaker 3: 58:13

And I hope that you have the best time ever. Kid freak.

Speaker 1: 58:15

I shall too. All right, thanks, mate. Have a good one. Bye, bye, bye.

Speaker 2: 58:24

Bye day. I'll try and find a way to make it so my life's a better place. If there's one thing I see, then your only thing is me just knowing that I'm trying to make a change. Can I put it all on me? Put it all on me Responsibilities and all the other nonsense coming by repeating it. There's one thing I know it's knowing to let go. Just knowing that I'm trying to make a change. Does it seem too much Just to ask for love? Cause there's many things that I do over, and I've got a lot, but I won't give up On those many things that I do over.