Mrs Incredible – From stay at home Mum of five to becoming an educator in modern America

In this episode, Carter and Breanna discuss a range of topics including Breanna's family, marriage, decision to become a teacher, household dynamics, wellness journey, parenting and mental health. They also touch on social issues, self-care, and making memories with children.

Some of the highlights of the episode are:

• Breanna is a stay-at-home mom of five children and is studying to become a teacher.
• Carter and Breanna talk about their marriage and living in New York.
• They discuss the impact of COVID-19 on Breanna's decision to become a teacher and Carter's experience working with youth in a justice facility.
• Breanna talks about the dynamics of her busy household and her journey towards feeling comfortable and confident in her own body.
• Carter and Breanna discuss parenting to ensure a healthy relationship with food, normalizing bodies and mental health in parenting, and the importance of self-care routines.
• They also touch on topics like gun violence, homeschooling, and social issues.

Head to the podcast Instagram and hit the bio link to sign up for preorder today.

Transcript

[Carter]: 0:00

cough or clear your throat or anything like that. Give it a second or two on each side so I can just edit it out easy. Don't like blended in with your sentence and we'll be all good. All

[Breanna]: 0:11

Okay.

[Carter]: 0:13

right. Good day, everyone. Today we have Brianna. Brianna is 33 from New York. Brianna has five children, a seven year old, a six year old, a three year old, a two year old and a four month old.

[Breanna]: 0:28

Thanks for watching!

[Carter]: 0:29

Where are we? Have a good one. Bye bye, Brianna.

[Breanna]: 0:31

I'm doing well, how are you today?

[Carter]: 0:34

I'm pretty good. Thank you. You

[Breanna]: 0:37

Thanks for watching!

[Carter]: 0:37

are my third podcast for the day. So I am running on fumes as we've just discussed.

[Breanna]: 0:42

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna

[Carter]: 0:43

Um,

[Breanna]: 0:43

go.

[Carter]: 0:43

so yeah, we'll see how we go. Hopefully, uh, hopefully I'm not a horrible host for you tonight. Otherwise

[Breanna]: 0:48

Thanks for watching!

[Carter]: 0:49

you can be the host and interview me.

[Breanna]: 0:51

I'm sure you're going to be fabulous. I'm sorry, but...

[Carter]: 0:57

Awesome, awesome. Well, thank you very much for joining. Um, and sorry again for me being late because daylight savings ended in Australia the other day. So the schedules got all mixed up, but you know, we're here now. So that's all that matters. Uh, why don't you run me through a little bit about yourself and a little bit about your family and we'll take it from there.

[Breanna]: 1:15

Yeah, so like you said, I'm 33, I live in New York. I am currently a student. I'm going to school to become an educator, which is not an amazing thing here in America given our situation, but you know, we're doing the thing.

[Carter]: 1:33

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 1:34

I am also a stay at home mom, so I manage our household of all the craziness and all the monkeys.

[Carter]: 1:41

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 1:42

My husband and I have five awesome kids. Lennon, Ronan, Owen, Sutton, and Devin.

[Carter]: 1:50

Cool, cool names. Yeah.

[Breanna]: 1:52

Thank you. And yeah, we just hang out and vibe and I don't know, just

[Carter]: 2:01

Ha ha

[Breanna]: 2:01

love to be together. I mean, that's our biggest thing is we just love hanging out and being together.

[Carter]: 2:07

Yeah, that's the main thing. And how long have you and your husband been married?

[Breanna]: 2:11

So we've been married for six years this year, but we've been together for 12 and a half years, almost 13 years.

[Carter]: 2:22

Yeah, cool. Very

[Breanna]: 2:24

Yeah,

[Carter]: 2:24

good.

[Breanna]: 2:25

we met as teenagers at a For the Fallen Dreams concert.

[Carter]: 2:31

Oh, okay. Nice. Metalheads.

[Breanna]: 2:33

Yeah. Oh, yes. You know, the

[Carter]: 2:36

Very

[Breanna]: 2:36

early

[Carter]: 2:36

good.

[Breanna]: 2:36

2000s,

[Carter]: 2:36

Jeez,

[Breanna]: 2:37

you know how it goes.

[Carter]: 2:39

I have not listened to the for the fallen dreams in a very long time.

[Breanna]: 2:43

Yeah,

[Carter]: 2:43

I

[Breanna]: 2:43

well.

[Carter]: 2:45

might have to break that out and blow the dust off it soon.

[Breanna]: 2:48

Yes.

[Carter]: 2:48

Completely forgot about that band. Awesome. So you live in New York. What's the weather like there at the moment? Cold, hot? What are we looking

[Breanna]: 2:58

Well,

[Carter]: 2:58

at?

[Breanna]: 2:58

I'm in, I'm just south of Buffalo, New York. So we are, you know, it's always cold all the time. It's actually been

[Carter]: 3:05

Okay.

[Breanna]: 3:05

pretty nice the last couple of days, but you know, we're known for our snow, we get in that we get once a year. So, we're going to

[Carter]: 3:14

Yeah,

[Breanna]: 3:14

go to the snow.

[Carter]: 3:14

right. Yeah, I've, I've discussed at large seasonal depression with some other guests from like Saskatoon, Canada, where it's cold majority of the year and snowing and whatnot. It's not something that happens here. So the only gauge I have with snow and a white Christmas and everything like that is the things you see on movies. And it looks absolutely beautiful and amazing. But I've said that it definitely wouldn't be that way when you live with it almost year round and you're So yeah, I think fuck that. I don't think I could do it, mate.

[Breanna]: 3:47

Yeah, you know, I tell my husband all the time, I'm like, if I could just have the like white Christmas for like three to five days around Christmas, I'd be great.

[Carter]: 3:57

Mm-mm.

[Breanna]: 3:58

But you know, it sticks around for way too long, especially here in Buffalo. It's it's not it's not cute.

[Carter]: 4:07

Yeah, it's no bueno. So you are studying to become a teacher. Let's

[Breanna]: 4:14

Yeah.

[Carter]: 4:14

talk a little bit about that.

[Breanna]: 4:16

Sure.

[Carter]: 4:16

Obviously, that's a it's a pretty hot topic in the States at the moment,

[Breanna]: 4:21

It is,

[Carter]: 4:22

you know,

[Breanna]: 4:22

it is.

[Carter]: 4:23

around schools and the absolutely heartbreaking things that happen in those schools. So, you know, based on all of that information alone, what led you to wanting to become a teacher and, your own life at risk by doing so.

[Breanna]: 4:40

Yeah, I mean, for me, the biggest thing I guess hit

[Carter]: 4:45

Thanks for watching!

[Breanna]: 4:45

for me was when COVID started. My daughter's

[Carter]: 4:49

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 4:49

first year of school was in 2020. She started kindergarten virtually, and I was absolutely terrified that she wasn't going to get this like, you know, normal experience with

[Carter]: 5:04

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 5:04

school. connected with her students and really went above and beyond to like make an impact on these kids lives. It was just like this light bulb went off and I was like, I want to do that for the other children. I want to be a lighthouse for

[Carter]: 5:23

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 5:23

these kids. And I think now more than ever, I mean, it's absolutely terrifying and heartbreaking and unfair what these children and other educators are going through. And it honestly like makes me so mad and almost like emotional to like think about but I I Just I want to be a lighthouse for these kids Anyway, I

[Carter]: 5:50

Yeah,

[Breanna]: 5:50

can

[Carter]: 5:52

yeah, it's a very, very selfless act to become a teacher full stop, let alone become a teacher in America at the moment.

[Breanna]: 6:01

Thank you.

[Carter]: 6:02

So, yeah, I definitely have a lot of respect for you for, you know, putting the young minds of the future ahead of, you know, your own safety. I work in a youth justice facility. So you know I'm no stranger to kind of putting yourself at risk for the sake of others.

[Breanna]: 6:27

Yeah.

[Carter]: 6:28

And you know it's often a very very thankless role and it's not often that you receive any sort of recognition for the work that you do. But when you do receive that recognition, boy it just makes everything so worth it. I've worked nights now for three years. with any of the boys that are on my unit to tell them, you know, at night times, that's when, you know, they're the most vulnerable because they're alone with their thoughts, you know, for just over 12 hours of the day, they're in their rooms. So I make it a point to buzz them up and say, hey, you know, if you can't sleep, if you have any thoughts, if, you know, you just want to talk shit and talk about football or talk about cars, I don't know anything about cars, but I'll listen to here for and I've been doing that for three years straight and two nights ago was the first time one of the boys actually took me up on the offer and buzzed me up and we ended

[Breanna]: 7:32

love.

[Carter]: 7:32

up having a chat for about an hour and talked about nothing and it just it just made that entire three years of me doing that it made it all worth it so let's hope in your chosen career you you get those truly understand why you're doing what it is you do and you know God forbid anything terrible would have happened in the meantime. So we'll talk today a little bit about the dynamics of your household obviously it's a very very busy household given that you've got five kids seven and under so you're currently stay-at-home mum and studying what does your husband do for work or

[Breanna]: 8:18

So

[Carter]: 8:18

does he

[Breanna]: 8:19

my

[Carter]: 8:19

work?

[Breanna]: 8:19

husband, he currently works in restoration.

[Carter]: 8:26

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 8:26

So he is a branch manager for a restoration company that does like commercial and residential, like restoration and mitigation. So like if a pipe bursts

[Carter]: 8:42

So like

[Breanna]: 8:43

in your

[Carter]: 8:43

household,

[Breanna]: 8:43

home,

[Carter]: 8:44

okay,

[Breanna]: 8:44

yeah.

[Carter]: 8:44

yeah. So like maintenance and restoration

[Breanna]: 8:46

Yeah,

[Carter]: 8:47

in that kind of realm.

[Breanna]: 8:47

yeah.

[Carter]: 8:48

Yep.

[Breanna]: 8:49

So he manages both the cleanup and the reconstruction side of it, but he also does a lot of commercial work with this office as well. So a lot of, we had a blizzard, like the Buffalo blizzard around Christmas time.

[Carter]: 9:04

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 9:04

And, oh, I mean, all of Buffalo was shut down. There was, it was really bad. But he's

[Carter]: 9:12

Yeah

[Breanna]: 9:12

doing

[Carter]: 9:13

right.

[Breanna]: 9:13

a lot of, a lot of work from that storm still.

[Carter]: 9:17

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 9:19

with a lot of residential and commercial buildings.

[Carter]: 9:23

Yeah,

[Breanna]: 9:23

He's

[Carter]: 9:23

right.

[Breanna]: 9:23

been

[Carter]: 9:23

And

[Breanna]: 9:23

doing

[Carter]: 9:23

does he

[Breanna]: 9:24

that.

[Carter]: 9:24

enjoy that? Or is that more of just a like,

[Breanna]: 9:26

Yeah.

[Carter]: 9:26

I'm doing this just to provide for my family or?

[Breanna]: 9:30

It started out that way, but

[Carter]: 9:32

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 9:32

he absolutely loves it. He's been doing it now for eight years. It started off in a company where he was doing solely commercial stuff and he was traveling a lot. That those first three years, he probably, I probably saw him maybe two months years

[Carter]: 9:55

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 9:55

and it wasn't like two consecutive months it was like a day here two days here so that was really hard I mean we had the just the two then so thank God it wasn't all five of these monsters

[Carter]: 10:10

Yeah,

[Breanna]: 10:11

but

[Carter]: 10:12

don't feed them after midnight, hey?

[Breanna]: 10:14

Exactly.

[Carter]: 10:17

Awesome. So delve into a little bit about how you and I got linked in together. I have, I run a weight loss Instagram page that I've been working on for about, you know, a bit over two, two and a half, three years maybe now. I've been on, you know, quite like a health journey. I've lost, uh, I had lost 43 kilos at my lowest weight. Um, I'm back up a little bit now after, uh, going back to work and, you know, focusing on these podcasts and stuff. I've stopped moving my body as much because I'm stretched pretty thin as far as time goes. Uh, but that's how we met you. You also run your own, um, health and wellness page. Why don't you tell me a little bit about that?

[Breanna]: 11:06

Yeah, so we connected through our wellness journeys. I started, I mean, I feel like I've been on a wellness journey like my entire life. Some

[Carter]: 11:17

Mm-mm.

[Breanna]: 11:17

forced that I didn't really choose to be on. And then the last probably four years has been a chosen journey.

[Carter]: 11:29

Thanks for watching!

[Breanna]: 11:31

And yeah, I've just been working really hard to, having babies changes your body a whole lot. So I'm just trying to get to a place where I feel like really comfortable and confident in my own body and trying to unlearn some of the icky, you know, societal standards that have been forced in my brain for the last 30 years. And it, I mean, it's been a journey, but we're, we're working through it. I am.

[Carter]: 12:04

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 12:04

I'm. lot more like strong in my self which is beautiful. It's the first time I feel like in a long probably ever that I feel really like confident in my own skin regardless that I'm quote-unquote overweight.

[Carter]: 12:22

Thanks for watching!

[Breanna]: 12:23

So that feels pretty nice. I will say that's the one benefit one

[Carter]: 12:27

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 12:27

benefit of this wellness journey for sure.

[Carter]: 12:31

Yeah, a lot of a lot of the people that I have met through, through that Instagram, the weight loss page, I've found that a lot of us share a lot of things in common. And it does definitely link into mental health and struggles with mental health. And a lot of that is body dysmorphia. So you know,

[Breanna]: 12:55

Yeah.

[Carter]: 12:55

I'm, I'm 40, I think I said, as I said, like 42 kilos, 43 kilos I reckon I've probably put on about five or six since then. Still a pretty big amount of weight gone. I think it equates to around a hundred pounds, a bit under, a bit over maybe. But I find that

[Breanna]: 13:18

Oh gosh.

[Carter]: 13:18

most days she's all right. Just let her

[Breanna]: 13:22

I'm sorry.

[Carter]: 13:22

do her thing.

[Breanna]: 13:22

I'm

[Carter]: 13:22

This

[Breanna]: 13:23

sorry.

[Carter]: 13:23

is a podcast for parents by parents, mate, so everyone can just make do.

[Breanna]: 13:28

Thanks.

[Carter]: 13:30

I find that a lot of the time I look in the mirror and I still see every bit of a 143 kilo kata staring back at me and I really really have to strain my eyes and look hard and use my imagination to remind myself of how far I've come. Is that something that you find that you deal with within yourself and in your journey?

[Breanna]: 13:56

Yeah, I mean, I definitely feel like sorry, she's going to make an appearance.

[Carter]: 13:59

That's all right. Hi, baby.

[Breanna]: 14:01

You say hi.

[Carter]: 14:03

Ah ha ha. Gorgeous.

[Breanna]: 14:05

Oh, goodness. You're just a chatty Kathy this morning. Sorry. You're

[Carter]: 14:10

No, that's okay.

[Breanna]: 14:14

going to try to steal the show now. You know, I definitely struggle with that. I struggle with being able to I haven't lost quite as much. I'm down. a little over 50 pounds now from my highest

[Carter]: 14:29

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 14:30

weight. But you know, I struggle I think the most with My biggest thing has always been just allowing myself to be in my body and like be okay being where I'm at and feeling good

[Carter]: 14:49

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 14:49

about where I'm at no matter what size I am.

[Carter]: 14:53

Yep.

[Breanna]: 14:53

Bless you.

[Carter]: 14:55

Big sneezies.

[Breanna]: 14:56

Geez Louise sister.

[Carter]: 14:59

Hehehehe

[Breanna]: 14:59

I have always kind of equated my self-worth and who I am as a person and my size because that was kind of what was taught to me as a as a kid, you know I was always

[Carter]: 15:14

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 15:14

told that no one will ever love you if you are fat

[Carter]: 15:18

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 15:19

so I have always Equated that with being you know being a big person that I was completely just unlovable and Gross and no one was going to to be able to Want to be with me? but now

[Carter]: 15:35

Yeah right.

[Breanna]: 15:36

you know here I am all these years later and I have this incredible human being as my partner and I have these five beautiful kids and they don't look at me and they don't go like, ew, mom's fat and she's

[Carter]: 15:49

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 15:50

horrible and we hate her. They're like, oh my gosh, my mom has the best arms to give the bestest hugs. Or

[Carter]: 16:10

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 16:10

my mom's squishy belly is the best place to lay my head when I don't feel good. beautiful and awesome way to change how I look at myself.

[Carter]: 16:27

Yeah, it definitely heals the soul, doesn't it? They,

[Breanna]: 16:31

Oh yeah.

[Carter]: 16:32

the little buggers will break down your walls no matter what.

[Breanna]: 16:35

Oh my gosh, and you try so hard, you're like, I'm still cool, I'm still tough.

[Carter]: 16:40

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 16:42

Nope.

[Carter]: 16:42

No, none of it. None of it.

[Breanna]: 16:44

Nope,

[Carter]: 16:44

I am,

[Breanna]: 16:44

it's all gone.

[Carter]: 16:45

uh, I'm absolutely, I'm absolute mush when it comes to my kids. Uh, and they, they have me eating out of the palm of their hand at any given day. Um,

[Breanna]: 16:54

Oh, yes.

[Carter]: 16:55

so as far as your weight loss journey and, um, you know, mental health battles surrounding that, uh, do you ensure that you promote, um, a healthy mindset and, uh, you know, body positive way of. parenting to ensure that your kids don't grow up in such a damaging way as you did.

[Breanna]: 17:21

Yeah, I mean, you know, when I look back at what, how I was raised, especially around my weight, I mean, you know, I grew up in the 90s, where if you weren't a twig, you weren't beautiful. And then I also, unfortunately, had that same kind of view perpetuated from my home life. I mean, it went as far as I was woken up two hours earlier than my siblings so I could get a workout in and then I was given a separate breakfast from my siblings so that I could stay skinny.

[Carter]: 17:57

Okay

[Breanna]: 17:58

So the biggest thing for me and my you know teaching my girls because I've got four of them the biggest thing for me has just been to teach them like hey you know your body is your body and it's beautiful no matter what size it is you know being fat like mommy bad thing and you know really teaching them to love their bodies that no matter what size and teaching them that food is not this like good or bad thing that there are foods

[Carter]: 18:35

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 18:35

that are nourishing for your body and then there are foods like ice cream that are nourishing for your soul

[Carter]: 18:41

Yeah,

[Breanna]: 18:42

and

[Carter]: 18:42

yeah,

[Breanna]: 18:42

sometimes

[Carter]: 18:42

100%.

[Breanna]: 18:42

you just sometimes you just need some ice cream and that's okay.

[Carter]: 18:46

That's it. Yep. Ice cream makes the world go round.

[Breanna]: 18:50

It does,

[Carter]: 18:50

Um,

[Breanna]: 18:50

truly.

[Carter]: 18:51

look, we're quite the same. Um, fat isn't a word in our house. Uh, we, my kids are picky eaters, uh, as it is, um, you know, they'll love

[Breanna]: 19:02

Oh,

[Carter]: 19:02

one

[Breanna]: 19:02

yes.

[Carter]: 19:02

food, one minute, and then the next time they won't even touch it and think it's disgusting. Uh,

[Breanna]: 19:08

Oh.

[Carter]: 19:08

but if my, if my oldest, uh, had her way, she would live off McDonald's and pizza. Uh,

[Breanna]: 19:14

Ooh,

[Carter]: 19:15

you

[Breanna]: 19:15

smart

[Carter]: 19:15

know,

[Breanna]: 19:15

girl.

[Carter]: 19:15

that's. not that's

[Breanna]: 19:17

I love

[Carter]: 19:17

not

[Breanna]: 19:17

that

[Carter]: 19:17

that's

[Breanna]: 19:17

smart

[Carter]: 19:17

not

[Breanna]: 19:18

kid.

[Carter]: 19:18

the fact that she has an unhealthy relationship with food. I think most kids would probably choose that as well if given the chance. But I make sure to when we talk about, you know, foods and, and moderation, we we say, you know, everything, every food, everything that's edible, you can put in your mouth is fine. But as long as it's not, you know, it's not an always food. And nothing's an always to sit there and eat like 10 kilos of apples. You know

[Breanna]: 19:50

No.

[Carter]: 19:50

too much of a good thing still a bad thing as well. So we make sure to really promote that with our kids. I also make sure not to try and cover up if I am in any stage of undress if my kids bust in on me in the bedroom after I've had a shower. You know this is my bedroom, this is my private space you've chosen to enter here and you are the bits hanging and dangling and just deal with it. But you know,

[Breanna]: 20:20

Oh, yeah.

[Carter]: 20:21

I don't let them kind of see my insecurities or like, you know, the look on my face, if they were to enter the room, you know, I'm just like this, you know, this is me, this is dad, this is the only dad you've got and this is the only body he's got. So that's just how it is. And I think that alone is a really, really great start life to normalize bodies of all shapes and sizes in any stage of undress. And you know, you'll have parents out there that are like, you know, there's no way I'd ever shower with my kids or anything like that. And you know, I'm not ever going to poo poo any type of parent and what they do with their kid is completely their business. But me personally, I think for me not to share with my kids, it's making something that shouldn't be weird, weird. silly element of sexualization at a young age that just does not need to be there at all.

[Breanna]: 21:22

Yeah.

[Carter]: 21:23

So, you know, we're trying our best to ensure that our kids are able to grow up self-sufficient and confident and comfortable in their own skin and with the ability to advocate for themselves. And I think we're off to a pretty good start, even if my daughter is a little bit of a when it comes to arguing with mum and dad. But you know, that's her advocating for herself as well. So we probably don't give her enough leeway with that as well. You know, when she argues, we're probably a little too quick to pull the trigger and go, you know, like go to your room or go to the corner or anything like that. So that's, you know, still stuff that we're working on as people, but it's definitely a lot better than, you know, prior generations.

[Breanna]: 22:11

Oh yeah, I mean, I think the biggest thing too is what you just said is we're working on it. Like having that self-awareness, I feel like now especially is so much different than it was when we were growing up. You

[Carter]: 22:23

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 22:23

know, I think parents today are so much more aware of the effects that their words and their actions have on their kids. And they're so much more conscious of like, OK, I want to make better choices. And we might not always make better choices. I'm really sorry I made a wrong choice in the way I just talked

[Carter]: 22:45

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 22:45

to you or the way I just handled that situation Let's

[Carter]: 22:48

Yep.

[Breanna]: 22:48

fix it together, you know

[Carter]: 22:51

Yep. Yeah, we definitely make it a point to, uh, apologize to our kids. If we lose our temper at the end of the day, we're all parents. We all, sorry, we're all people. We all make mistakes. Nobody is ever perfect. Um, but I think the biggest, the biggest lesson that, uh, a child can take away from perhaps a parent losing their temper is the fact that their parents can also sit down and say, Hey, I'm sorry, buddy. I, shouldn't have yelled. But, you know, this made me upset. And this is the reasons why. Perhaps next time we can try and work out a different way of going about things, you know, we have feelings charts up on the wall, we don't use them anywhere near as much as we should we try to. But you know, at least they're there, they're there as backups if we really need. And they do help my son a little bit as far as his autism goes, when his kind of in meltdown and whatnot. If we're able to get him in front of the charts, uh, he, we can try to redirect him, uh, and kind of stop the meltdown in its tracks. It's, it's few and far between that it works, but sometimes it does.

[Breanna]: 24:05

Hey,

[Carter]: 24:05

So,

[Breanna]: 24:05

and those

[Carter]: 24:05

you know,

[Breanna]: 24:05

sometimes

[Carter]: 24:06

I think that's

[Breanna]: 24:06

still

[Carter]: 24:06

just,

[Breanna]: 24:07

count.

[Carter]: 24:07

that's paid for themselves just in

[Breanna]: 24:09

Yeah.

[Carter]: 24:09

those sometimes. Yeah. Um, so as far as, um, being a parent of five, stay at home mom, uh, in a very, city you would likely have some mental health diagnoses or issues

[Breanna]: 24:31

Oh yeah.

[Carter]: 24:32

or qualms or any any way you would like to spin it

[Breanna]: 24:36

Oh yeah, they're

[Carter]: 24:36

say

[Breanna]: 24:36

all wrapped

[Carter]: 24:37

how

[Breanna]: 24:37

up tight and nice.

[Carter]: 24:39

that's it how about you run us through them and how they affect your day-to-day life

[Breanna]: 24:44

Yeah, so I have generalized anxiety.

[Carter]: 24:49

Thanks for watching!

[Breanna]: 24:50

I have just a generalized depression disorder. I also am currently sprinkled with a lovely dose of postpartum depression and anxiety as well. And as a former therapist, love to tell me a dash of OCD.

[Carter]: 25:11

Just a dash.

[Breanna]: 25:12

A dash.

[Carter]: 25:14

OK, yeah.

[Breanna]: 25:15

I loved how how loved how they split through that one in there for

[Carter]: 25:19

Uh, yeah,

[Breanna]: 25:20

me

[Carter]: 25:20

right.

[Breanna]: 25:22

But yeah, you know I as a parent, you know, sometimes Those things get amplified Especially my anxiety my I think my anxiety has never Been worse than you know as in my mom in years, especially

[Carter]: 25:41

Thanks for watching!

[Breanna]: 25:42

these last few years, you know We actually just moved back to the area, back to New York. We were living in Indiana for the past four years and I would say that my anxiety was probably at an all-time high living there and away from everybody and all of our family and kind of alone and isolated out there.

[Carter]: 26:04

Okay.

[Breanna]: 26:06

But yeah, you know, being a parent with any, I mean even if you had perfect mental health, being a parent is hard as fuck. There's no way

[Carter]: 26:16

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 26:16

around it. It's hard as fuck and you love these tiny humans more than anything in the world but they push buttons that you didn't even know you had and all of a sudden you feel like Mount Vesuvius is like just exploding out of your head.

[Carter]: 26:31

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 26:33

And adding the anxiety and the depression on my shit, then I might have if I wasn't somebody that suffered with anxiety. And then of course, you know, the depressive side of it kicks in and you're like, Oh my gosh, you just yelled at your kid like you are the world's worst mother, they're going to hate you growing up like you are damaging them with every single word that comes out of your mouth and it is it is a constant battle. I feel like I'm not only parenting my five kids, but a lot of because of my mental health, I feel like I'm also having to parent myself.

[Carter]: 27:19

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 27:19

And like it's an internal, you know, discussion regularly like, okay, Brianna, like you are not hurting them. Like you are doing okay. Like what you are doing is not a bad thing, you know, and I think,

[Carter]: 27:38

You're just doing the best you can.

[Breanna]: 27:40

yeah, you're just

[Carter]: 27:40

He's

[Breanna]: 27:40

doing

[Carter]: 27:41

doing

[Breanna]: 27:41

the best

[Carter]: 27:41

the best

[Breanna]: 27:41

you can.

[Carter]: 27:41

you can. Yeah,

[Breanna]: 27:42

Yeah.

[Carter]: 27:43

mate. Yep. I've, I've discussed it in other episodes. Um, as far as, you know, as far as parenting goes, or as far as even mental health in general goes, everyone has this internal bucket and all of those buckets are different sizes and you know, some may be able to handle two liters and some be able to maybe able to handle 200 mil, um, you know, but at various too full and overflow and you just you need to let it out and you need to figure out a way just to move on from that and learn each day and be better than than you were the next day. So as far as your your anxiety disorder goes, do you are you very self aware of like your triggers and you know, if like an anxiety attack is coming on? Do you suffer specifically like a steady stream or a big crashing wave.

[Breanna]: 28:43

So it's a little bit of both. I'm lucky to have

[Carter]: 28:46

Yep.

[Breanna]: 28:47

both of those.

[Carter]: 28:49

Yep.

[Breanna]: 28:49

Whereas most of the time it is a very steady flow of anxiety where I just, oh, sorry,

[Carter]: 28:59

Is that right?

[Breanna]: 29:00

where I just feel like I'm constantly on pins and needles. I'm constantly just feeling this just panic.

[Carter]: 29:10

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 29:13

that when there are certain things that are going to like just send me over the edge and into a full-blown panic attack.

[Carter]: 29:20

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 29:22

And being able to like kind of discuss those things, especially with my two older kids, you know, my seven and six-year-old. I say older, they're seven and six. But you know, I think that being able to have like open discussions and understand it has kind of helped them to understand too like hey like mom's not having a good brain day

[Carter]: 29:53

Thanks for watching!

[Breanna]: 29:53

like you know this is maybe why she's yelling as much or like and being able to like explain to the kids like hey listen like mama's not mama's brains not being her friend today like this is why I've kind of been sat on the couch and you've watched 14 episodes of Bluey you know

[Carter]: 30:12

Haha, yeah Bluey.

[Breanna]: 30:14

Oh

[Carter]: 30:14

Calm

[Breanna]: 30:14

yeah,

[Carter]: 30:15

the Aussies.

[Breanna]: 30:16

yes. Bandit and

[Carter]: 30:17

Thanks for watching!

[Breanna]: 30:17

Chili Healer have parented my children

[Carter]: 30:20

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 30:20

a few more times than I should probably admit.

[Carter]: 30:24

Hey world, you're, you are so welcome for that. Love Australia.

[Breanna]: 30:28

Yes,

[Carter]: 30:28

Bluey, Bluey

[Breanna]: 30:29

thank

[Carter]: 30:29

is

[Breanna]: 30:29

you.

[Carter]: 30:29

great. We also love Bluey in this house.

[Breanna]: 30:32

Oh yes.

[Carter]: 30:33

Turtle boy is a personal favorite.

[Breanna]: 30:35

Thanks for watching!

[Carter]: 30:36

And now my son won't call turtles anything other than turtle boys. And it's something that I find incredibly endearing about him.

[Breanna]: 30:45

I

[Carter]: 30:45

I absolutely

[Breanna]: 30:45

love that.

[Carter]: 30:46

love it. And he loves turtles as well. So anytime he sees turtles, he's like, turtle boys, turtle boys.

[Breanna]: 30:51

I love that.

[Carter]: 30:54

It's just a beautifully crafted show and

[Breanna]: 30:56

it.

[Carter]: 30:56

it's gentle and educational. There is one criticism that I do have is that Bandit has received such a cult following online in like dad forums like Dadit on Reddit

[Breanna]: 31:12

Oh my gosh,

[Carter]: 31:12

where

[Breanna]: 31:12

yeah.

[Carter]: 31:13

everyone strives to be just like him. No dad can have a full-time job and play games that much and go along with everything that his daughters would like to do. That is just fucking lunacy at its finest. So, you know, it's a great cartoon, but people need to remember that it is just a cartoon and not

[Breanna]: 31:42

Yes.

[Carter]: 31:42

to try to hold themselves to those standards because

[Breanna]: 31:45

Oh

[Carter]: 31:45

that

[Breanna]: 31:45

yeah.

[Carter]: 31:46

can create anxiety in itself.

[Breanna]: 31:48

Oh yeah, oh trust me on a bad day I definitely have looked at those healers and gone, how are they doing this? Like

[Carter]: 31:57

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 31:57

this aren't they, isn't one of them like an archaeologist? Like what the hell? How are they like digging up bones

[Carter]: 32:04

Yes,

[Breanna]: 32:04

and

[Carter]: 32:04

so...

[Breanna]: 32:04

also like have these amazing like playing these incredible games with these kids all day? Like what the hell?

[Carter]: 32:11

Yeah, so I'm not too sure if you've put the puzzle pieces together, but the two, the Bandit and Chili, their jobs are because of the types of dog they are. So one's an archaeologist, digs up bones, and the other one works at the airport. Sniff a dog.

[Breanna]: 32:30

Oh my gosh, that's too funny.

[Carter]: 32:33

Yeah,

[Breanna]: 32:33

I know,

[Carter]: 32:33

so you're welcome

[Breanna]: 32:33

I hadn't

[Carter]: 32:34

for that.

[Breanna]: 32:34

put that together.

[Carter]: 32:34

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 32:35

Thank you.

[Carter]: 32:36

A lot of people had not put that together. I only

[Breanna]: 32:38

Well,

[Carter]: 32:38

found

[Breanna]: 32:38

you

[Carter]: 32:38

out

[Breanna]: 32:38

know,

[Carter]: 32:38

about that quite recently.

[Breanna]: 32:40

here in the States, we don't have, you know, we don't have the full, we don't have Bluey's full catalog, if you will. I mean, some of the stuff has gotten banned, some of the episodes

[Carter]: 32:52

Oh really?

[Breanna]: 32:52

and like, yeah, some episodes aren't allowed to air. I mean, Disney only Disney Plus only has certain episodes on it. And I believe there's a couple like, a couple episodes that have been banned or like edited in certain ways.

[Carter]: 33:06

Okay, do you know

[Breanna]: 33:07

Like

[Carter]: 33:07

the

[Breanna]: 33:07

they're

[Carter]: 33:07

reasons

[Breanna]: 33:07

one.

[Carter]: 33:07

for for banding them? Banding them?

[Breanna]: 33:13

I thought one of them where they were talking about... I know one they they edited out one of the like ponies shitting and Like Disney didn't want a pony shitting I guess on there on there

[Carter]: 33:31

Ah, I'm in no way, I'm in no way hanging shit on you because you can't help where you're from, but fuck me, America protects kids from the wrong goddamn things, don't they?

[Breanna]: 33:41

It's... I mean, listen, if I could transport everybody that I cared about to a different country, I would do it in a fucking heartbeat because

[Carter]: 33:52

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 33:54

this place fucking sucks.

[Carter]: 33:56

Yeah, yeah.

[Breanna]: 33:57

And

[Carter]: 33:57

I've,

[Breanna]: 33:57

I'll probably

[Carter]: 33:58

uh...

[Breanna]: 33:58

get some heat from that, but

[Carter]: 34:00

Uh,

[Breanna]: 34:00

America

[Carter]: 34:00

you know,

[Breanna]: 34:00

fucking sucks.

[Carter]: 34:02

we, we, we try, we try really hard

[Breanna]: 34:03

Thanks for watching!

[Carter]: 34:04

to stay away from, uh, political views and things like that. Um, try to tie the line, but sometimes, you know, you just, you can't help yourself. Um, I'm sure that there are beautiful parts of the country, uh, but I will probably never visit, uh, cause it's just, it's not worth it to me. I'll go to

[Breanna]: 34:23

Listen,

[Carter]: 34:23

Canada.

[Breanna]: 34:25

listen, it can be aesthetically beautiful all at once, but she ugly on the inside.

[Carter]: 34:31

Yeah, that's it. Excuse me. Excuse

[Breanna]: 34:35

Thanks for watching!

[Carter]: 34:36

me. So you said that you do discuss your mental health issues. I shouldn't say issue. Sorry, diagnoses with

[Breanna]: 34:44

Okay.

[Carter]: 34:44

your seven year old and your six year old.

[Breanna]: 34:47

Yes.

[Carter]: 34:47

Can you run me through a typical conversation that you would have with them

[Breanna]: 34:52

Yeah,

[Carter]: 34:52

surrounding

[Breanna]: 34:53

absolutely.

[Carter]: 34:59

routine. How do you get yourself out of that hole?

[Breanna]: 35:02

Yeah, well for me, I've again like I've always been really open and honest with my kids about any of my mental health struggles, but obviously explaining it in a way that they can like totally understand it. So for me, when I start to feel my anxiety presents in anger when I can't control a situation and I just start to feel really anxious, I get angry and I yell and I lash out and I'm

[Carter]: 35:31

Thanks for watching!

[Breanna]: 35:32

And that's not a great thing to have, especially as a parent to young children. So for me, when I start to feel like I'm about to explode and this my anxiety is past my eyebrows, I'm a tapper. So I'll go through and they'll see me tapping my fingers or tapping my forehead, you know, different points

[Carter]: 35:53

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 35:53

of my body to kind of just calm myself down. And I remember the first conversation I had with my eldest, Lenin. just was like, hey, what are you doing? And just sitting there explaining, like sometimes my feelings just feel too big. And I feel like I can't hold on to them anymore and I feel like they're just gonna come out in a way that they shouldn't. So I tap to help myself kind of focus my energy on that instead and being able

[Carter]: 36:26

A

[Breanna]: 36:26

to

[Carter]: 36:26

bit

[Breanna]: 36:26

kind

[Carter]: 36:26

of

[Breanna]: 36:26

of regulate,

[Carter]: 36:26

self

[Breanna]: 36:27

fix it.

[Carter]: 36:27

self regulation. Yeah.

[Breanna]: 36:28

Yeah. No, not always, but it helps a lot of the time, you know, and being able to explain that to her has really opened a lot of doors, especially for her to kind of talk about her own issues and struggles that she's having, you know, as a kid growing up in today's society.

[Carter]: 36:56

Yeah, yeah, I can imagine that mental health as a, as a young kid, going to school over there would definitely play a part in in most people's lives. So I think being open and honest, as far as your journey in mental health goes with, with your school aged children is absolutely key to surviving. Surviving life in a place like that.

[Breanna]: 37:23

Yeah.

[Carter]: 37:23

I can't imagine it. You country town, just outside of Melbourne, Victoria, and there's like 3000 people. And like we don't have to lock our doors. We leave the car keys in the car. And now

[Breanna]: 37:39

Thanks for watching!

[Carter]: 37:39

that I've said that, and I'm going to air that to the bloody world, cars are going to get stolen overnight.

[Breanna]: 37:44

Yep.

[Carter]: 37:44

I might have to edit that part out. But you know, we're going to let our daughter walk to school. And it's about a kilometer. And we don't really have any worries surrounding that, let alone surviving a school day. So it truly must be a horrendous thing to go through. I'm sure the rates of homeschooling exponential there now due to the current

[Breanna]: 38:17

Oh, no.

[Carter]: 38:17

crisis.

[Breanna]: 38:19

Yeah, I mean, it's something, something that I've considered, you know,

[Carter]: 38:25

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 38:25

when my daughter started kindergarten, she went virtually, and she had such an incredible experience. I mean, just wonderful. And then she went back to she went to in person for her first grade year. And it was just like this whole shift in her just happened. It wasn't a big shift. You know, it was little things at first, but it's you can definitely see there's a difference in the way that she presents herself now and the way that she, you know, works through certain things now. And I remember she came home crying. It was maybe the second week of, of her first year in person. And she came home crying and I had asked her, you know, babe, what happened? And they had practiced, um, they call them the Incredibles in their old school. The Incredibles was the name of the drill. not to get emotional, I apologize.

[Carter]: 39:29

That's all right mate, I'm right there with you.

[Breanna]: 39:31

But it is how they teach the kids crises like situations. So Mrs. Incredible is when they would toss the kids out the window in order to keep them safe.

[Carter]: 39:49

Mm-hmm.

[Breanna]: 39:49

Or Dash is teaching the kids to run as fast as you can away from the situation. Or Violet was teaching the kids how to hide so that no one could see them. Mr. Incredible was teaching these kids to throw and throw whatever they could get at the bad person. And my daughter came home in tears. Just in tears because she didn't understand. why someone would want to hurt her and her friends. And that was probably, probably the most horrific but necessary conversation I had to have with her.

[Carter]: 40:52

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 40:53

I mean. explaining

[Carter]: 40:57

I mean

[Breanna]: 40:57

to myself.

[Carter]: 40:57

thank you so much for sharing that. You know that's a horrible thing to have to discuss with any human being, let alone a child. And I just don't understand why there's not more being done to stop it from happening. You know you go to school, you send your so they can run the country when they're of age. And

[Breanna]: 41:31

Thanks for

[Carter]: 41:32

it's failing.

[Breanna]: 41:33

watching!

[Carter]: 41:33

It's not working. And it's so horrible

[Breanna]: 41:37

Oh

[Carter]: 41:38

to hear about the fact that they have had to create these tactics and then attribute them to

[Breanna]: 41:47

Thanks for watching!

[Carter]: 41:48

superheroes to try and make them somehow fun. It's just, it's fucking sickening. It's so upsetting. Um, and it's, it's something that I just, I just will never understand. You know, I

[Breanna]: 42:08

I mean.

[Carter]: 42:08

was, I was a kid when Port Arthur happened and I still remember the gun buyback scheme. And I think I have seen like maybe three or four guns in my life since then, uh, apart from police that carry them. not a part of our culture anymore. It's it just isn't. And, and I am so, so happy that that's the case. You know, we still have gun violence here, unfortunately, but not, not to the, not to the extent of America. Anyways, we'll try to get off that because it is a very, very hot button topic. And I don't,

[Breanna]: 42:49

is, I'm sorry.

[Carter]: 42:50

I don't want to upset I think everyone will probably shed a bit of a tear over that story because it's just It's truly devastating that any any parent or child would have to go through that um Is there anything else that you would like to discuss specifically?

[Breanna]: 43:12

I mean, I feel like we've

[Carter]: 43:16

We've covered

[Breanna]: 43:16

talked

[Carter]: 43:16

a fair

[Breanna]: 43:16

about

[Carter]: 43:16

bit of

[Breanna]: 43:17

a

[Carter]: 43:17

ground.

[Breanna]: 43:17

lot. Yeah, we've

[Carter]: 43:18

Yeah.

[Breanna]: 43:18

maybe pissed a couple people off, you know? I...

[Carter]: 43:21

We just may have, but that's okay. I, I kind of apologize, but kind of don't, you know, the, the really important part of this podcast is to keep it as real as possible. Excuse me. Oh, me and baby are synchronized and, um, poor

[Breanna]: 43:37

You all

[Carter]: 43:37

thing,

[Breanna]: 43:37

right, sis?

[Carter]: 43:39

you know, try to, try to have the discussions that no one really wants to have. So I do appreciate you sharing those things with me no matter how hard they were.

[Breanna]: 43:51

Of course.

[Carter]: 43:54

Now as give me a minute, I've lost my train of thought. It's,

[Breanna]: 43:59

That's

[Carter]: 43:59

it's

[Breanna]: 43:59

all

[Carter]: 43:59

getting,

[Breanna]: 43:59

right.

[Carter]: 44:00

it's getting late here.

[Breanna]: 44:01

It's getting late

[Carter]: 44:02

Um,

[Breanna]: 44:02

over there. You've got, you're

[Carter]: 44:03

yeah.

[Breanna]: 44:03

running on chaos and caffeine, right? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. That's all. Ha ha ha.

[Carter]: 44:06

Chaos and caffeine. That's it. I'm going to edit all of this part out. Um, okay. So as, as far as your day to day life goes, uh, what are some tips, tricks, go-to self-care routines, what are the things that fill your happiness cup, what are the things that keep you going?

[Breanna]: 44:34

Yeah, so for me, I think the biggest thing is knowing, you know, knowing when you need that minute and like just being unapologetically like aware and like unapologetically asking for that time. So when I am starting to feel that those feelings of anxiety and overwhelmed and like I'm gonna able

[Carter]: 45:04

Thanks for watching!

[Breanna]: 45:05

to look at especially you know look at my older kids and be like hey like we're on spring break right now and it's only Wednesday and I've had to take a few minutes but being able

[Carter]: 45:16

Yep.

[Breanna]: 45:16

to look at look at my kids and say hey mom needs a five and I will take my book and I will go sit outside on the porch with the pup and I will just read for five minutes and even if I can hear the chaos inside and everyone is screaming and somebody's crying and somebody touched somebody. I have those five minutes where I can get lost in my book and just be outside and take in some fresh air and that's the biggest thing for me even if it's freezing cold and snowing and miserable. Being able to like just inhale fresh air and have that escape is just so helpful.

[Carter]: 46:06

Yeah, that's, um, it's super important to be able to take that time for yourself. Uh, my wife and I do a tap out method. Uh, if I'm especially heightened, um, I tap out, I'll just say to her, Hey, I fucking tap out and

[Breanna]: 46:20

Yeah.

[Carter]: 46:20

she'll, she'll, it'll be mum to the rescue and I'll go to the bedroom, uh, and you know, maybe screaming to the pillow a bit, or have a little bit of a cry or I'll go outside for a smoke filthy habit, shouldn't do it, but I do. Um,

[Breanna]: 46:33

My husband does it too, you're not alone.

[Carter]: 46:36

Yeah, yeah. At least we're old school and smoke cigarettes, none of this vaping bullshit.

[Breanna]: 46:41

Oh no, I think if he vaped, I think if he vaped it might be, it might be a deal breaker. 12 years might go down the drain if he vaped.

[Carter]: 46:50

I've realized that I'm actually, I'm, you know, I'm 36 now, but I've realized that I'm not young anymore because, um, you know, youngins these days refer to cigarettes as analog vapes.

[Breanna]: 47:04

Stop it. They do not.

[Carter]: 47:06

Yeah, that's something I heard not too long ago and I was like, that's just ridiculous. That's...

[Breanna]: 47:12

These,

[Carter]: 47:12

that's silly.

[Breanna]: 47:14

these youths, I'm telling you, they're just...

[Carter]: 47:16

Yeah, they've taken over. I know, you know, there's, I find myself watching TikTok sometimes and there's, you know, new vernacular that I don't understand and everyone in the comments is using it, Riz, Riz is the new one. Uh, which is like, uh, you know, you've got game you've, you've, you're, uh, you've got a bit of Steez about you and you're, uh,

[Breanna]: 47:37

friends.

[Carter]: 47:38

charming Riz, R I double Z. And, uh, that's the new thing going around at the moment. And I, I just, I, yeah, I don't get it.

[Breanna]: 47:46

It sounds like a cracker.

[Carter]: 47:46

that, you know,

[Breanna]: 47:47

Isn't that a cracker? No, that's

[Carter]: 47:49

I've

[Breanna]: 47:49

ritz.

[Carter]: 47:49

got no

[Breanna]: 47:49

Oh,

[Carter]: 47:49

ideas.

[Breanna]: 47:50

okay.

[Carter]: 47:50

Ritz cracker. Yeah.

[Breanna]: 47:52

It's the

[Carter]: 47:53

But

[Breanna]: 47:53

same.

[Carter]: 47:53

I'm starting to realize that I'm becoming the old guard now. I'm not a part of the fresh and hip generation, even though I'm always going to think and feel like I'm cool. Now I understand my parents when I was growing up and they thought they were cool. And I was like, you are so embarrassing. And I for one, I'm to live that phase of my life where I can just embarrass the shit out of my kids.

[Breanna]: 48:21

Oh yeah, it's so

[Carter]: 48:23

It's,

[Breanna]: 48:23

fun.

[Carter]: 48:24

it's going

[Breanna]: 48:24

It

[Carter]: 48:24

to be

[Breanna]: 48:24

is.

[Carter]: 48:24

great.

[Breanna]: 48:24

It's

[Carter]: 48:25

I still remember

[Breanna]: 48:25

so fun.

[Carter]: 48:25

to this day and it still mortifies me to this day. Um, there was like a main street of the town that I grew up in. And we would walk past a music shop that sold CDs at the time was called sanity. And, uh, I would be with my mom. It would be after school. My friends would all be down the main street hanging out and I'd be walking with my dear old mum and she grabbed my hand and start dancing in the middle of the street to like

[Breanna]: 48:52

Oh.

[Carter]: 48:52

Lou Bega's mumbo number five and

[Breanna]: 48:55

Amazing.

[Carter]: 48:55

I yeah I still just remember I remember the feeling I remember the feeling of illness deep from within and just thinking I will never forgive you for this you rude bitch but I look back on it I look back on it so

[Breanna]: 49:16

balances.

[Carter]: 49:16

you know, those are the lasting memories that I have of it. See, I can't wait to make those memories of horror for my children. It'll be

[Breanna]: 49:25

Oh, it's,

[Carter]: 49:26

it'll be

[Breanna]: 49:26

it's

[Carter]: 49:26

absolutely

[Breanna]: 49:27

so fun.

[Carter]: 49:27

brilliant. Yeah, I can't wait.

[Breanna]: 49:29

It's so fun. My daughter is, I have embarrassed her a couple times now, just through drop off at school. We, I'll put the windows down and I'll blast some like backstreet boys, and

[Carter]: 49:44

Yes.

[Breanna]: 49:45

I'll sing it at the top of my lungs as she's getting out of the car and you know her principal will start giggling and sometimes even singing along with me. I could just see her just, Mom, please God don't do it again. Mom, please no. My friends are going to think I'm such a weirdo. Like Lenin just.

[Carter]: 50:05

So what music is a seven year old into?

[Breanna]: 50:08

Oh, she, all of them right now are obsessed with Taylor Swift. That's like,

[Carter]: 50:13

Okay.

[Breanna]: 50:14

that is the big, you know, hot, hot jam is some Taylor Swift.

[Carter]: 50:20

Yep.

[Breanna]: 50:21

You're, we're

[Carter]: 50:21

Oh, well,

[Breanna]: 50:21

all

[Carter]: 50:21

at least

[Breanna]: 50:22

about,

[Carter]: 50:22

I know about T-Swift.

[Breanna]: 50:24

oh yes,

[Carter]: 50:24

We're

[Breanna]: 50:24

we

[Carter]: 50:24

no stranger

[Breanna]: 50:25

were,

[Carter]: 50:25

to T-Swift in this house at least.

[Breanna]: 50:27

oh yes, we're all about the anti-hero right now.

[Carter]: 50:30

Yeah, that's funny. My kids are super, super sensitive to any type of music that I play. I am

[Breanna]: 50:36

Yeah.

[Carter]: 50:36

massive on like, like cheesy 90s pop bangers. So you know, Backstreet Boys, NSYNC 5, The Witch, Spice Girls, anything like that, I will play it probably a little bit too much. I'm definitely a product of the 90s. And I'm definitely

[Breanna]: 50:56

Oh yeah.

[Carter]: 50:56

always going to be stuck in the 90s. It's just such a nostalgic decade, you know,

[Breanna]: 51:03

Yes!

[Carter]: 51:03

it was the last decade before the technological breakthroughs of the internet and the digital era and you know, I just get the warm fuzzies of all of those types of things.

[Breanna]: 51:16

Oh

[Carter]: 51:16

So

[Breanna]: 51:16

yes.

[Carter]: 51:16

yeah, the music definitely comes part and parcel with the age group we're in.

[Breanna]: 51:22

Oh, yeah,

[Carter]: 51:23

Um,

[Breanna]: 51:23

no, I

[Carter]: 51:23

but

[Breanna]: 51:23

I'll

[Carter]: 51:23

yeah, my kids

[Breanna]: 51:24

put

[Carter]: 51:24

get

[Breanna]: 51:24

on.

[Carter]: 51:24

super upset about it. They, they go, we don't like this one and I'll keep singing it. And then 10 seconds later, they'll be actually crying like, shut up dad. So

[Breanna]: 51:34

Mm-hmm.

[Carter]: 51:34

it's not

[Breanna]: 51:35

Oh, yeah,

[Carter]: 51:35

as

[Breanna]: 51:35

that's

[Carter]: 51:35

fun

[Breanna]: 51:35

my...

[Carter]: 51:35

when they actually get properly upset over it.

[Breanna]: 51:38

Oh yeah, no. They're like, oh man, I feel like a jerk now.

[Carter]: 51:41

Hahaha

[Breanna]: 51:42

Then you've got to turn it off. You're like, I'm sorry that I just wanted to relive my childhood for five minutes.

[Carter]: 51:48

Yeah, and then I have to spend the next half an hour singing, Let it go from frozen to my daughter, or the bear is now asleep by the wiggles to my son.

[Breanna]: 51:58

Oh, yeah.

[Carter]: 51:59

So that's that's the two go tos to make them happy.

[Breanna]: 52:02

No, I have to put on the Pokemon theme song. That

[Carter]: 52:05

I'm

[Breanna]: 52:05

one

[Carter]: 52:05

out.

[Breanna]: 52:05

gets my son to chill the beans a little bit. And then

[Carter]: 52:09

Hey,

[Breanna]: 52:09

Taylor

[Carter]: 52:09

at least that's a 90s

[Breanna]: 52:10

Swift.

[Carter]: 52:10

pop banger as well. Ha ha

[Breanna]: 52:12

Yeah, that's true. That

[Carter]: 52:13

ha

[Breanna]: 52:13

is true.

[Carter]: 52:14

ha.

[Breanna]: 52:16

And then Taylor Swift for the girls. And then they do also really love like electronic music, like my kids love Zed. And I don't know where it came from, but like the like little Amazon Echo in their room and all of a sudden I will just hear like ns ns ns ns ns

[Carter]: 52:41

Eheh

[Breanna]: 52:41

ns coming out of their bedroom and you open the door and they're in there like having a rave to Zed. You're like what is what is happening in here like what are you guys doing oh we're just having a dance party.

[Carter]: 52:54

I tried to play Sandstorm by Darude to my kids the other day

[Breanna]: 52:57

I'm

[Carter]: 52:57

and they were like, turn this shit off. So

[Breanna]: 52:59

sorry.

[Carter]: 53:00

I, they're, they're too young. My, my eldest is turning four in two days. So they're still a little too young to really flesh out their, uh, choice of genre as far as music goes, they're still

[Breanna]: 53:15

yet.

[Carter]: 53:15

very much about the wiggles and all of, you know, Blippi's songs and that stupid

[Breanna]: 53:20

Oof.

[Carter]: 53:20

crap.

[Breanna]: 53:21

Blippi.

[Carter]: 53:21

Yeah. Uh, let's not go into Blippi. have time. I don't have

[Breanna]: 53:27

I didn't

[Carter]: 53:27

time to

[Breanna]: 53:27

know

[Carter]: 53:27

delve

[Breanna]: 53:27

what

[Carter]: 53:27

into

[Breanna]: 53:27

to do.

[Carter]: 53:28

Blippi. That's an entire episode by itself and the psychological

[Breanna]: 53:31

Yeah.

[Carter]: 53:32

horrors that that man has given me.

[Breanna]: 53:35

Well, thank God we do not have Blippi children. Thank goodness. Thank

[Carter]: 53:40

Look,

[Breanna]: 53:40

goodness.

[Carter]: 53:40

they're trying to grow out of it. The new one is handyman hell. It's like blippy but um, a bit more tolerable. I'll

[Breanna]: 53:48

Oh,

[Carter]: 53:48

say a bit a bit more tolerable.

[Breanna]: 53:49

a bit more tellable, okay.

[Carter]: 53:51

Yeah, yep. But yeah, I mean, look, at the end of the day, we're parents and we're just, you know, trying to

[Breanna]: 53:59

doing

[Carter]: 53:59

kick

[Breanna]: 53:59

what we

[Carter]: 53:59

goals

[Breanna]: 53:59

can to survive.

[Carter]: 54:00

and that's it mate. Yep. It's a, it's just a matter of holding on for dear life and riding the roller coaster.

[Breanna]: 54:09

Oh yeah,

[Carter]: 54:10

Bye.

[Breanna]: 54:11

absolutely.

[Carter]: 54:12

Well, Brianna, thank you so, so much for joining me today. I really appreciate it. And yet again, sorry for being late and

[Breanna]: 54:20

Oh my gosh,

[Carter]: 54:20

sorry for

[Breanna]: 54:21

that's

[Carter]: 54:21

not being

[Breanna]: 54:21

okay.

[Carter]: 54:21

as prepared as I should, but I think, uh, I think it was a good chat and thank you so much for sharing, uh, some, some horrific, uh, uh, upsetting and traumatic things with me. Uh, I really appreciate that. And I, um, you know, I definitely, uh, will come away from this with a a different view that I've never been able to have before by talking

[Breanna]: 54:47

Thanks for watching!

[Carter]: 54:47

so candidly about such a horrible circumstance. So I appreciate your honesty and your openness for that.

[Breanna]: 54:55

Thank you so much for making time for me today. And, you know, I appreciate your willingness to have these kinds of discussions. You know, a lot of people don't want to talk about it or refuse to talk about it. And I just think being able to talk about what's really happening here in the States and having that moment of, you know, candidness can maybe open a couple more eyes. Thanks for watching!

[Carter]: 55:25

Yeah, definitely. All right, mate, well, I will leave you to your day and I am going to go pass out. Ha ha

[Breanna]: 55:34

Now

[Carter]: 55:34

ha.

[Breanna]: 55:34

go get some sleep. Oh my goodness.

[Carter]: 55:36

Yeah, it's definitely time for nine eyes.

[Breanna]: 55:39

Yes, I'm going to wrangle some

[Carter]: 55:40

I reckon

[Breanna]: 55:41

monsters.

[Carter]: 55:41

my my argument baby will probably be awake in like half an hour for a bottle anyway, so we'll see what happens. Thanks again, mate, you have a good one.

[Breanna]: 55:47

Of

[Carter]: 55:47

All right.

[Breanna]: 55:48

course

[Carter]: 55:48

Stay

[Breanna]: 55:48

you

[Carter]: 55:48

safe.

[Breanna]: 55:48

too. Thank you.

[Carter]: 55:50

All right, hurry.

[Breanna]: 55:51

All right. Bye. Bye