Go Away Red Choice Monster and the mental health mama bear

In this episode, Carter and Chisato discuss Chisato's multifaceted career as a mental health practitioner, including her work as a licensed professional clinical counselor, licensed marriage and family therapist, and doctor in social work. On top of an incredibly selfless and busy Career Chisato is also the Mother of Twin boys on the spectrum. Some of the topics we discuss today are:
 
•The importance of therapy and the strength of individuals who seek help, as well as self-care strategies for mental health and parenting.

•Parenting twin boys on the autism spectrum, and the need for increased awareness and support for families with special needs children.

•Trauma-informed care and advocacy, breaking generational trauma, and empowering youth.

•Improving access to mental health resources for underserved communities, and the barriers to accessibility for mental health services.

•Mental health prevention and intervention in schools, and promoting mental health awareness and empathy.

•Chisato's self-published book, "Go Away Red Choice Monster," and the development of a journal for kids to practice coping skills.

You can find Chisato and all her links via https://www.instagram.com/therapistmamabear

Head to the podcast Instagram and hit the bio link to sign up for preorder today.

Transcript

[Carter]: 0:01

G'day everyone. So today we have Chisato from California. Is that correct? Rippa, thanks so much for

[Chisato]: 0:08

Yes.

[Carter]: 0:09

being with me today and taking time out of what seems to be an incredibly busy schedule. When you

[Chisato]: 0:18

Eugh.

[Carter]: 0:18

submitted your application, I was blown away by the amount of fingers in different pies and I'm really excited to get into it and have a chat to you about everything today. So first of all, we'll start off with telling me a bit yourself and a bit about your family.

[Chisato]: 0:36

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for having me. I'm super excited to be here. So I'm just out. I have a doctor and social work. I'm also a licensed marriage and family therapist and a licensed professional clinical counselor. So as you saw, I work multiple jobs, but my full time job is I'm a senior program supervisor for a mental health nonprofit in California and we work with Children up until 21, I think, with MediCal, as well as community based. My role, I'm a senior program supervisor for the training department that we have. I work with a amazing team that I'm able to connect with. And we implement changes to documentation. We also try to speak with county to make sure that we're doing everything properly. We also answer questions as needed and also give training. So we do a little bit of everything in the amazing department I'm part of. And I also am an adjunct professor, so I teach at

[Carter]: 1:40

Well, hey.

[Chisato]: 1:40

three different schools. So I do a little bit of everything there. And then I'm also a co-program director and volunteer coordinator for a mental health nonprofit, well, social justice nonprofit as well. So

[Carter]: 1:57

Thank you.

[Chisato]: 1:57

I do that as a volunteer. And then currently, I am the Committee of National Leadership Identification for the National Association Social Worker California chapter. And I'm the chair of that

[Carter]: 2:09

Good

[Chisato]: 2:09

until

[Carter]: 2:10

Lord, what a

[Chisato]: 2:11

June,

[Carter]: 2:11

mouthful.

[Chisato]: 2:11

I think.

[Carter]: 2:12

Yeah.

[Chisato]: 2:12

So I do a little bit of everything. I'm a mom

[Carter]: 2:17

Yes.

[Chisato]: 2:17

of twin boys, they are seven. They are both on the autism spectrum. So, you know, having been in mental health and also, you know, being a mom, it's really shown me the lack of empathy,

[Carter]: 2:34

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 2:34

I feel like. that both of those things have. I think there's a lot of stigma around autism as well as mental health. So I have a blog where I talk about autism and mental health and really try to dispel misunderstandings, misconceptions, and stigma just to try to shine a little bit of light, I guess, onto

[Carter]: 2:56

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 2:56

very important topics to me. So yeah, kind of because of that, I've been super, super lucky. I've been interviewed for several podcasts. written for several magazines. I've also guest written for several blogs.

[Carter]: 3:09

Well,

[Chisato]: 3:09

So

[Carter]: 3:09

a little bit

[Chisato]: 3:10

that's

[Carter]: 3:10

about

[Chisato]: 3:10

a little

[Carter]: 3:10

you.

[Chisato]: 3:10

bit

[Carter]: 3:11

How

[Chisato]: 3:11

about

[Carter]: 3:11

do you have

[Chisato]: 3:11

me.

[Carter]: 3:11

time to sleep? Good Lord. Yeah. I

[Chisato]: 3:16

What

[Carter]: 3:16

mean,

[Chisato]: 3:16

sweet.

[Carter]: 3:16

I, um, I work full time in youth justice. As night shift, I've been in youth justice

[Chisato]: 3:23

Thank you.

[Carter]: 3:23

for four years now. I've got three kids, all of which are under four, my three year old turns four next week. And geez, I don't even have much time to sleep. So I don't know how you how you're coping.

[Chisato]: 3:38

The time.

[Carter]: 3:40

So we'll jump into... your professional life as a licensed professional clinical counselor, licensed marriage and family therapist

[Chisato]: 3:53

Thank you.

[Carter]: 3:53

and a doctor in social work. Tell me a little bit about that, how long have you been doing

[Chisato]: 3:58

It's a...

[Carter]: 3:58

it, what led you to going in that direction.

[Chisato]: 4:05

Yeah. So I'll start with my two licenses because my, feel like my path for my doctor, those little different, not that it's different, but I feel like it's just an extension in a way. So I'll start with my mental health practices. So I went to UC Berkeley for my undergrad and I did a sociology bachelor's. When I was in my bachelor's degree, I was a rape crisis counselor. So I really started off in trauma that was kind of my, first experience with supporting others through traumatic experiences and trying to really provide a safe space for them to share their stories. So I would be part of the 24-hour crisis line where I would pick up the phone if people would call and talk to them, whatever time it was, because 24 hours. And then I was also part of the sexual assault response team. right after a sexual assault had occurred. And then I got super involved and I also started kind of becoming a backup person for that and I helped with training and I did a little bit of everything I feel like in that role. I also did in-person counseling and I also in that helped to create a program for sexually exploited minors, so

[Carter]: 5:29

Thank you.

[Chisato]: 5:29

child sex trafficking victims. And I only called them victims because they were at that time, they were in the same place that time actively being trafficked. So that taught me, I think, opened my eyes to one, the lack of knowledge towards kids who are being exploited. And then again, a lack of empathy. I feel like a lot of things I've done, that's kind of what's shown me, that when you are different than anyway, empathy kind of goes out the window a lot of the

[Carter]: 6:00

definitely.

[Chisato]: 6:00

times. I was also a supervised visitation monitor, during that time where I would take notes where a child was visiting with their non-custodial parent when there was some

[Carter]: 6:12

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 6:13

kind of safety concern, whether it was domestic violence, whether there was a long period of time where let's say the parent had not seen the child and there was a kidnapping concern, anything like that, I would be there and take notes and make sure that the visit was safe. And then I was also in-home advocate for

[Carter]: 6:33

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 6:33

intensive treatment All of that to say, with a bachelor's in sociology, there's a limit to what you can do. So I decided, huh, let me get my master's. So I went to get my master's, got my master's in clinical psychology with the emphasis on marriage and family therapy. And while I did that, I got, I was very lucky and worked as a therapeutic behavioral services coach for kids that had severe behavioral health needs where their placements were being threatened. So I would go into group homes. homes, I would go into schools, I would go into the community and really work with them to be safe and to make better choices and to also help the adults around them to understand their struggles and see how we can support them better. I was super lucky I was actually able to become a therapist in that agency when I got my master's so I did a community mental health with kids and their

[Carter]: 7:34

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 7:35

Then I got pregnant. I have twins. And being pregnant with twins and having hypergardium and throwing up 20-something times a day while driving all around

[Carter]: 7:47

Yeah, it would have been.

[Chisato]: 7:48

was a lot.

[Carter]: 7:49

Yeah.

[Chisato]: 7:50

It was really burning me out. And just realizing I loved what I do. I loved the clients I worked with. Truly, it was just an absolute honor to do what I was able to do. And my day consisted of... getting in the car, throwing up on the freeway, going to my client's school, throwing up in the car, seeing my client

[Carter]: 8:12

No.

[Chisato]: 8:13

coming back, throwing up again, and then doing it for the whole day. And there were some clients that were very far away. I had some clients where I wouldn't get home for like three hours because the traffic was so bad. And I just realized like I'm not providing the best care that I want to. And that's really important to me. So after my turn newly, I decided, you know, it's not a good idea for me to go back. So sad face, I ended up leaving the agency. And I became a lead clinician for a mental health nonprofit where I did prevention and early intervention. So I worked with children, adults, couples, individuals, families,

[Carter]: 8:57

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 8:58

elderly, you name it, I did it. We were able to work with really anybody that we could. I also did workshop support. core groups and I also did a lot of outreach and really that outreach showed me once again the I think lack of knowledge towards

[Carter]: 9:15

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 9:15

mental health and mental illness and I think when people hear mental health or therapy they're like oh you work with crazy people that's so not right. I actually believe that people who go to therapy are very are very

[Carter]: 9:32

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 9:32

strong because

[Carter]: 9:33

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 9:33

therapy

[Carter]: 9:33

definitely.

[Chisato]: 9:33

is hard. It's hard. going within ourselves and looking like at the stuff inside of yourself and the darkness within ourselves is hard. So I truly believe that individuals who actually go to therapy is

[Carter]: 9:46

Yeah, definitely.

[Chisato]: 9:46

is much stronger. They think

[Carter]: 9:49

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 9:49

anybody

[Carter]: 9:49

I've, um,

[Chisato]: 9:49

gives them

[Carter]: 9:50

I've

[Chisato]: 9:50

credit

[Carter]: 9:50

discussed

[Chisato]: 9:50

for.

[Carter]: 9:50

it on every, every

[Chisato]: 9:51

So

[Carter]: 9:51

podcast

[Chisato]: 9:52

yeah.

[Carter]: 9:52

so far. And it's a big reason why I am doing this podcast is I'm a massive, massive advocate for therapy. I, I say that therapy is to the brain what Jim is to the body. It's, it's you exercising and making sure

[Chisato]: 10:06

Absolutely.

[Carter]: 10:06

that you are mentally healthy and mentally strong and provided with the tools to fill your tool bag to ensure that you have right resources to get yourself through anything and everything. So I mean

[Chisato]: 10:22

Yes.

[Carter]: 10:22

the fact that you've

[Chisato]: 10:23

Yeah,

[Carter]: 10:24

done all of

[Chisato]: 10:24

absolutely.

[Carter]: 10:24

these different roles and devoted

[Chisato]: 10:27

Thank you.

[Carter]: 10:28

just massive, massive chunks of your life to people in need of a little extra care and a little bit of planning and mental health advocacy and just advocacy in general is truly inspiring and on behalf of the entire world. Thank you. because the entire world needs more people like you.

[Chisato]: 10:49

Thank you. Thank you. It's my honor, honestly. Like I truly believe that I know what it's like to to feel like there's only darkness in the world. And at that point, I had a choice of, well, I can provide a light or I can continue to be in the darkness. And I wanted

[Carter]: 11:06

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 11:06

to be able to provide a light. It's so needed.

[Carter]: 11:09

Yeah.

[Chisato]: 11:10

The more light, the better. Right. So I figured

[Carter]: 11:12

Yeah.

[Chisato]: 11:13

if I could

[Carter]: 11:13

And

[Chisato]: 11:13

be part of

[Carter]: 11:13

that's

[Chisato]: 11:13

it,

[Carter]: 11:14

how

[Chisato]: 11:14

why

[Carter]: 11:14

I feel

[Chisato]: 11:14

not.

[Carter]: 11:14

too. I, um,

[Chisato]: 11:15

And

[Carter]: 11:15

I,

[Chisato]: 11:15

then my

[Carter]: 11:16

that's

[Chisato]: 11:16

doctor.

[Carter]: 11:16

the reason I'm starting this podcast. You know, I don't have any, I don't have any sort of

[Chisato]: 11:20

It's so

[Carter]: 11:20

formal

[Chisato]: 11:21

needed.

[Carter]: 11:21

training apart from the training that work provided me to work with youth offenders and things like that. But I just felt, especially

[Chisato]: 11:29

Yeah, I'm

[Carter]: 11:29

around

[Chisato]: 11:30

sorry.

[Carter]: 11:30

parenting, I found that there was such a lack of resources for parenting with, and dealing with your own mental

[Chisato]: 11:37

Absolutely.

[Carter]: 11:37

health. There was a lot of resources surrounding like being a parent with children, on the autism spectrum or children having ADHD, but there was not much in terms of the parent themselves having ADHD or autism or any any form of you know anxiety,

[Chisato]: 11:56

Absolutely.

[Carter]: 11:56

depression, BPD, everything like that. So I was like okay

[Chisato]: 12:00

Yeah?

[Carter]: 12:01

I can either go to school and study it, which I don't really have time for, or I can just start this podcast and just talk to everyone I can

[Chisato]: 12:10

Okay.

[Carter]: 12:13

community pool of knowledge and bring it all together and hopefully come out on the end of it, you know, a better version of myself and help other people

[Chisato]: 12:22

It's only

[Carter]: 12:22

along

[Chisato]: 12:22

the...

[Carter]: 12:22

the way and so I'm just doing my bit and I also felt especially with podcasts, there's a lot of parenting podcasts and then there's a lot of mental health podcasts and the two generally intersect on a lot of episodes

[Chisato]: 12:36

Yeah.

[Carter]: 12:37

but I felt that there's not many parenting and mental health podcasts specifically to exist in that space. So I felt...

[Chisato]: 12:48

Absolutely. And if the parents are not able to be okay, then like, how are we as the adults

[Carter]: 12:53

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 12:53

going to be okay for the kids, right? Like, if we're not, if we're not feeling ourselves and we're not stable and we're not okay, how can we be okay

[Carter]: 13:02

Exactly.

[Chisato]: 13:02

for our kids?

[Carter]: 13:03

Our jobs

[Chisato]: 13:03

It's so

[Carter]: 13:03

as

[Chisato]: 13:03

needed.

[Carter]: 13:03

parents is to ensure that our children grow up better versions of us. Not the same, you know, I don't want my children to grow

[Chisato]: 13:12

absolutely.

[Carter]: 13:13

up as a mirror image of me because I am full of faults and I am trying

[Chisato]: 13:17

Yeah.

[Carter]: 13:17

to correct them every day. So I want to ensure that they grow

[Chisato]: 13:21

Thank

[Carter]: 13:21

up,

[Chisato]: 13:21

you.

[Carter]: 13:21

you know, beautiful, empathetic, well-balanced kids, you know, and I'm still learning. I'm still but you know this is definitely a big part of the process. So with you

[Chisato]: 13:39

Oops,

[Carter]: 13:39

doing

[Chisato]: 13:39

I'm...

[Carter]: 13:40

all of these roles and obviously being exposed to some really really traumatic experiences and some scenarios, what were you doing in terms of your own self-care to ensure that you weren't overflowing your bucket?

[Chisato]: 14:00

Yeah, first let me say I love that question. I get that question a lot and I love it every time I'm asked that. So I know before I had kids and it's changed since I've had kids, but before I had kids, I think it was a little easier for me in some ways because I could go to dinner with friends and not really worry about, you know, how it impacted other people because it was me, you know, just it was

[Carter]: 14:34

Real

[Chisato]: 14:35

just

[Carter]: 14:35

quick,

[Chisato]: 14:35

me.

[Carter]: 14:35

Chisato, I'm really sorry to interrupt you. Are you

[Chisato]: 14:37

I,

[Carter]: 14:37

able to take off your bracelet by any chance? There's a lot of jingling going on, so

[Chisato]: 14:42

This one

[Carter]: 14:43

I'm so sorry. Cool.

[Chisato]: 14:44

here. Ah yes, yes absolutely, absolutely. No, you're absolutely fine.

[Carter]: 14:47

Yeah, you're

[Chisato]: 14:48

It

[Carter]: 14:48

all good.

[Chisato]: 14:48

is pretty jiggly.

[Carter]: 14:49

It's a great podcast

[Chisato]: 14:50

Better?

[Carter]: 14:50

so far,

[Chisato]: 14:50

Yeah.

[Carter]: 14:50

I don't want to compromise the audio. Oh good, please

[Chisato]: 14:55

No,

[Carter]: 14:55

continue.

[Chisato]: 14:55

you're totally fine. I appreciate it. So I think one of the things that's really been helpful self-care-wise is that I've been with my husband for... 17 years old, it's been a while. We've been together for a while and we, you know, we went to Medin Community College, we went to Berkeley together, we've really grown together, I think, and it's, I think knowing that I have somebody to grow with has been super helpful when the boys were diagnosed. So of course then we became parents and then the boys were diagnosed. boys were diagnosed, I think that changed a lot in regards to my self care and my own growth. So one of the things I did

[Carter]: 15:46

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 15:46

is I went back for a doctorate. And my husband actually went back for his master's. And really the big reason for us was that we wanted to show the boys that you aim for what you want to aim for. You aim for the stars. And if you fail, you know what, and that's actually gonna be experience and that's actually super great. And so, you know, I went into my doctorate thinking, well, if I don't do well, then hey, I tried, right? I've been talking about getting my doctorate for a while, I might as well try it. And so we really, a lot of things we do, I'm very mindful of like my kids are always watching me. Right? We also, my husband goes to work out, I actually walk, if possible, daily. I go on weekly date nights with my kids, which is super helpful for me as well as them because they're twins and it's very hard for them a

[Carter]: 16:47

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 16:47

lot of times to get that one-on-one attention. They've been together since like day one, right? So I schedule

[Carter]: 16:55

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 16:55

a Monday and Tuesday date night with them. And you know, it can be as short as 30 minutes, sometimes it's as long as an hour and a half, kind of depending on what they want to do. It's usually walking around the store, it's usually what it is. we get to have that time with each other and I get to enjoy them, which is

[Carter]: 17:14

Thank you. Thank you.

[Chisato]: 17:15

amazing for me. It fills me with a lot of joy that I'm able to get to know them because I mean, you have multiple kids, I'm sure you've realized like they are so

[Carter]: 17:26

Oh

[Chisato]: 17:26

different

[Carter]: 17:26

yeah,

[Chisato]: 17:27

when they're together.

[Carter]: 17:27

so different. Yeah,

[Chisato]: 17:29

And so different

[Carter]: 17:30

yeah,

[Chisato]: 17:30

when

[Carter]: 17:30

I

[Chisato]: 17:30

they're

[Carter]: 17:30

take

[Chisato]: 17:31

thought,

[Carter]: 17:31

my son

[Chisato]: 17:31

right?

[Carter]: 17:31

every fortnight, my two year old boy, he's on the spectrum as well. So I take him to occupational therapy once a fortnight, but it's with animals.

[Chisato]: 17:41

Mm-hmm.

[Carter]: 17:41

So we go to like a massive property, it's just full of like pigs, horses, sheep, goats, bearded dragons, turtles, frogs, cats, dogs, you name it, they've got it.

[Chisato]: 17:52

So awesome, I love it.

[Carter]: 17:53

And seeing him, reason for all of the animals is to get him used to all of the different experiences, you know, the touches, like he pats the animals and obviously a pig feels different to a horse and a horse feels different to a chicken and a chicken feels different to a bearded dragon, turtle, etc etc. So it's getting him used

[Chisato]: 18:12

Absolutely.

[Carter]: 18:12

to all of these different textures and different sensory inputs and

[Chisato]: 18:17

Yeah.

[Carter]: 18:17

he's been doing that it'll

[Chisato]: 18:18

Absolutely.

[Carter]: 18:18

be six weeks now so he's only had three sessions and in that time his speech,

[Chisato]: 18:24

Thank

[Carter]: 18:24

his

[Chisato]: 18:25

you.

[Carter]: 18:25

sensory issues and all of these different things that we're a little bit, I wouldn't say worried about, but when you would be hurdles to cross have just improved tenfold.

[Chisato]: 18:38

Yeah.

[Carter]: 18:38

So I'm really, really excited to continue watching him flourish. And that's that's, you know, it's like a little

[Chisato]: 18:43

Thank you.

[Carter]: 18:43

date for me and him each fortnight. And my three year old hates it every day. She's like, I want to go to the farm. I want to pet the animals. Why? Why can't I? Yeah.

[Chisato]: 18:53

Yeah, she's like, why

[Carter]: 18:54

Yeah.

[Chisato]: 18:54

does

[Carter]: 18:54

So

[Chisato]: 18:54

it do something

[Carter]: 18:55

I,

[Chisato]: 18:55

fun?

[Carter]: 18:55

I need to

[Chisato]: 18:55

I wanna do it.

[Carter]: 18:57

a date day for her sometime soon. I think her and I will go get our nails did

[Chisato]: 19:01

Yeah.

[Carter]: 19:02

and just have a cute little girls day.

[Chisato]: 19:04

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[Carter]: 19:05

But yeah, no, it's absolutely perfect. And I think that one-on-one time with both parents is especially important. Definitely

[Chisato]: 19:13

It's all needed.

[Carter]: 19:14

for twins

[Chisato]: 19:14

Yeah.

[Carter]: 19:15

who

[Chisato]: 19:15

Yeah.

[Carter]: 19:16

literally have been together since day one.

[Chisato]: 19:18

Yeah. Yes, yeah, you know, I really try to look at them as individuals because they're complete opposites. They're very, very different from each other. One loves art, one

[Carter]: 19:31

Okay,

[Chisato]: 19:31

loves math, like

[Carter]: 19:32

are they

[Chisato]: 19:32

super

[Carter]: 19:32

identical

[Chisato]: 19:32

different.

[Carter]: 19:33

twins?

[Chisato]: 19:34

And they love each other fiercely. Yuri is my little artist

[Carter]: 19:38

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 19:38

and then

[Carter]: 19:38

and

[Chisato]: 19:38

Akira

[Carter]: 19:38

are they

[Chisato]: 19:39

is

[Carter]: 19:39

identical?

[Chisato]: 19:39

my little mathematician.

[Carter]: 19:39

Sorry. No. Okay.

[Chisato]: 19:42

No, they're fraternal. So they actually look different. They act different. Yuri has straight

[Carter]: 19:47

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 19:47

hair and has my face. I have way be hair. And then Akira has my husband's

[Carter]: 19:53

Yep,

[Chisato]: 19:53

face,

[Carter]: 19:54

okay.

[Chisato]: 19:54

but my hair.

[Carter]: 19:55

Very good.

[Chisato]: 19:57

Yeah, it's a complete opposite. Personality wise, very different, but they love each other fiercely, right? And so,

[Carter]: 20:03

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 20:03

and when they're together, obviously they feed off each other. They feed off each other quite often, which is absolutely understandable. So when they're apart, it's so interesting to see how different

[Carter]: 20:13

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 20:14

they

[Carter]: 20:14

definitely.

[Chisato]: 20:14

are. So I get to have, I get to enjoy my time with them. And you know, They enjoy it as well. I know one of them definitely does. He's like,

[Carter]: 20:23

Ha ha ha.

[Chisato]: 20:23

mommy, five o'clock. It's Monday, wake up. Yeah, I know, I know. My other one, he's kind of like, hey, Tuesday, Wednesday, whichever is fine. But as long as he gets that time, he's not as

[Carter]: 20:35

Yeah, beautiful.

[Chisato]: 20:36

about it.

[Carter]: 20:36

So

[Chisato]: 20:36

Hehehe.

[Carter]: 20:36

as far as being a parent of two boys on the autism spectrum, what advice do you have for parents who have children on the spectrum and how can they better support their children's mental

[Chisato]: 20:48

Yeah.

[Carter]: 20:48

health and growth?

[Chisato]: 20:52

I love that question. And I sigh because there's so many that comes to my mind and I'm like, no,

[Carter]: 20:57

Ha ha.

[Chisato]: 20:58

just hold it down. So I would say one of the big things was for us that helped was that was remembering that the diagnosis does not change who they are. They've always

[Carter]: 21:15

Thank you.

[Chisato]: 21:15

been on the spectrum. We just didn't know. So now we know. for us helped to think, oh, that makes sense. Like that's why he does this. So it's not something for us to like redirect or worry about. Like is there ways that we can support that, right? I think for us it was helpful to understand. Also one of the things that we also do is seeing beyond the label, like not everything they do is because they're on the spectrum. I have ADHD, if you can't tell, I move a lot. And... But not everything I do is because I have ADHD, right? And I would hate it if somebody was like, oh, you're sad today because you have ADHD.

[Carter]: 22:00

Mm.

[Chisato]: 22:00

No, I'm sad today because something bad happened. Right? I think it's so important for any diagnosis to be able to see past the label and see the person. And... And I think it's important for any diagnosis to be able to see past

[Carter]: 22:09

Yeah, 100%

[Chisato]: 22:09

the label and

[Carter]: 22:10

you

[Chisato]: 22:10

see

[Carter]: 22:10

can't

[Chisato]: 22:10

the person.

[Carter]: 22:10

put just

[Chisato]: 22:10

And I

[Carter]: 22:11

put everyone in a box.

[Chisato]: 22:11

think it's important for

[Carter]: 22:12

It's

[Chisato]: 22:12

any diagnosis

[Carter]: 22:13

not how it works.

[Chisato]: 22:15

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. That's not how it works. And I think with a lot of diagnoses, that's kind of what happens, right? Oh, he does that because he's on the spectrum. Or he had a really bad day. Like I have bad days and all of us have bad days and it's okay. So, you know, I talk to my kids all the time, but you know what? All of us have strength. All of us have struggles. All of us have good days. All of us have

[Carter]: 22:38

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 22:38

some bad days. And that's okay. Like it's okay. I normalize though a lot. I'm 40s and I still have bad days like you're seven of course you're gonna have bad

[Carter]: 22:48

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 22:48

days like that's okay

[Carter]: 22:49

we have a national holiday, it's not a holiday, but we have a national day in Australia called Are You Okay Day and the slogan is It's Okay to Not Be Okay and I think that that really resonates

[Chisato]: 23:01

I love

[Carter]: 23:01

with

[Chisato]: 23:01

you.

[Carter]: 23:01

a lot of people and that's a really big thing here, I'm not sure if at that day is in America. Excuse me.

[Chisato]: 23:08

I don't think I've heard that. We do have, I know in my old agency, I wanna say it's a county thing though. There was a mental health day and we did talk about mental health with a green ribbon. But, and it's,

[Carter]: 23:25

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[Chisato]: 23:25

mental health matters, something like that. Each mind matters. So talking about mental health. So I know it's starting to, we're starting to talk about it more. And yeah, like I love that slogan, it's okay not to be okay. it is okay to not be okay. And I think at least for us, like we really tried to stress that with the boys that we all have bad days, you know? And I don't love you any less

[Carter]: 23:48

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 23:48

because

[Carter]: 23:49

definitely.

[Chisato]: 23:49

you had a bad day. Like we're all loud that. So yeah,

[Carter]: 23:50

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 23:50

I think that's... I think that's... I think

[Carter]: 23:51

we

[Chisato]: 23:51

that's... I think

[Carter]: 23:51

really

[Chisato]: 23:51

that's... I think

[Carter]: 23:51

stress

[Chisato]: 23:51

that's... I think that's... I think that's... I think that's... I think that's... I think that's...

[Carter]: 23:53

with

[Chisato]: 23:53

I think

[Carter]: 23:53

our

[Chisato]: 23:53

that's...

[Carter]: 23:53

kids,

[Chisato]: 23:53

I think that's...

[Carter]: 23:54

we

[Chisato]: 23:54

I

[Carter]: 23:54

really

[Chisato]: 23:54

think that's...

[Carter]: 23:54

stress,

[Chisato]: 23:54

I think that's...

[Carter]: 23:55

you know, if mommy and daddy have a bad day, because I tend to get overstimulated quite a bit, and I get a little bit impatient and I get a little bit yell-y. I always make sure to take the time after everything kind of settles to sit down with them one-on-one and say, hey, I'm really, really sorry. And it's and it's okay if you're upset with me because daddy shouldn't have yelled

[Chisato]: 24:21

Yeah.

[Carter]: 24:22

and I shouldn't have gotten upset but I did

[Chisato]: 24:24

Yeah.

[Carter]: 24:24

because of xyz reasons and I just want to make sure that you're okay and I want

[Chisato]: 24:29

Thank you.

[Carter]: 24:29

you to know that daddy loves you and I'm really really sorry do you forgive me and that's the conversation that we will always have you

[Chisato]: 24:37

Yeah.

[Carter]: 24:37

know I I sit and I've watched you know countless youtube videos and tiktok videos of like gentle parenting and shame myself into feeling like I Otherwise, my kids are going to grow up so

[Chisato]: 24:49

Thank

[Carter]: 24:49

damaged.

[Chisato]: 24:49

you.

[Carter]: 24:50

But I think at the end of the day, there needs to be just a balance. They need to understand

[Chisato]: 24:57

Yeah.

[Carter]: 24:58

you can push buttons sometimes and this is what's going to happen and it may not necessarily be your fault because something may have happened in my day that you aren't aware of that has tipped me over my edge.

[Chisato]: 25:11

Yeah.

[Carter]: 25:12

So,

[Chisato]: 25:13

Absolutely.

[Carter]: 25:13

all it is is balance as far as we're concerned sure

[Chisato]: 25:17

Yeah.

[Carter]: 25:17

at the end of the day they know we love them,

[Chisato]: 25:19

Another please?

[Carter]: 25:19

they know we'll do anything for them to make them happy and care for them. But we're

[Chisato]: 25:25

I'm sorry.

[Carter]: 25:25

also humans, we're not only

[Chisato]: 25:27

I'm

[Carter]: 25:27

parents,

[Chisato]: 25:27

sorry.

[Carter]: 25:27

we're not only slaves, we're not just here to feed you

[Chisato]: 25:30

Yeah!

[Carter]: 25:30

and put TV shows on for you and give you piggyback rides

[Chisato]: 25:32

Yeah.

[Carter]: 25:33

and everything like that. We're humans with real needs and

[Chisato]: 25:36

Right?

[Carter]: 25:36

we need self-care and we need timeouts and if you're coming into my space

[Chisato]: 25:41

Yeah.

[Carter]: 25:41

when I'm touched out, hence the name of the podcast,

[Chisato]: 25:45

Yeah.

[Carter]: 25:47

probably

[Chisato]: 25:47

Mm-hmm.

[Carter]: 25:47

get a little bit grumped at.

[Chisato]: 25:51

Wait. Yeah, I think you know the fact that you're like honest with your kids and just like real with them and letting them know like We still love you, you know, but we have bad days too and that doesn't mean that we love you any less And we apologize and you know like I think that's so important to to model for them that Hey as an adult like we apologize too, right? It's so important And honestly like I know so many people did not grow up that way. I did I grew

[Carter]: 26:21

I

[Chisato]: 26:21

up

[Carter]: 26:21

did

[Chisato]: 26:21

with my

[Carter]: 26:22

not.

[Chisato]: 26:22

parents apologizing

[Carter]: 26:22

No.

[Chisato]: 26:23

to me

[Carter]: 26:23

Not at all.

[Chisato]: 26:24

Just gonna say um, you know, that's that was my normal like I'm I'm Asian I'm Japanese and honestly a lot of API parents. I think older parents struggle with that but you know, I think Myself I really wanted to take the strength that my parents had but also

[Carter]: 26:45

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 26:46

add my own strength, you know, and look at, you know, I would have loved it if my parents did ABCD. And I understand why they couldn't or didn't because they had their own reasons and that's okay. I'm not there to say like, Oh, you, you suck those parents like they didn't, they were great parents and they are great parents. And there were things that I would have liked different. So, you know, I try definitely to, to implement that, including

[Carter]: 27:13

And I think that's the

[Chisato]: 27:16

mistakes.

[Carter]: 27:16

best part about, you know, our generation and the generations that will come after us is instead of just repeating the same patterns that our parents did because that's what their parents did. And that's just the way it was, you know, now that we've got,

[Chisato]: 27:33

Yeah.

[Carter]: 27:33

it's like the new technological era, you know, we're at the internet, we've got countless resources available at our fingertips. And, you know,

[Chisato]: 27:41

Thank you.

[Carter]: 27:42

the ability to access communities of millions and millions of people that have lived through those same experiences where their parents emulated their parents and it was not a great home life and instead of their parents recognizing that and making that change and breaking that kind of generational trauma, we're able to do that now. And I just think that that's so great and that's such a massive, massive step forward even though it is still a snail's pace, you know, it's

[Chisato]: 28:12

now.

[Carter]: 28:12

still take a long, long time to get to where we need to be, you know, elimination of like toxic masculinity and

[Chisato]: 28:18

Y'all

[Carter]: 28:18

things

[Chisato]: 28:18

know?

[Carter]: 28:18

like that. You know, a lot of, a lot of men especially grew up, you know, don't cry, be a man, don't show your emotions. And, and

[Chisato]: 28:27

Mm-hmm.

[Carter]: 28:27

they still,

[Chisato]: 28:29

Well, you're a boy, you shouldn't cry,

[Carter]: 28:30

yeah.

[Chisato]: 28:30

like that,

[Carter]: 28:30

So

[Chisato]: 28:31

the

[Carter]: 28:31

I mean,

[Chisato]: 28:31

messaging,

[Carter]: 28:31

I work

[Chisato]: 28:31

right?

[Carter]: 28:31

with youth

[Chisato]: 28:32

Mm-hmm, yeah.

[Carter]: 28:32

from 15 to 21

[Chisato]: 28:33

Yeah.

[Carter]: 28:34

and the amount of them that

[Chisato]: 28:36

तो के...

[Carter]: 28:37

still perpetuate those ideals is absolutely astounding.

[Chisato]: 28:41

Yeah,

[Carter]: 28:42

Yeah.

[Chisato]: 28:42

it's really ingrained

[Carter]: 28:42

And

[Chisato]: 28:43

in them.

[Carter]: 28:43

And I've tried to talk to them about it and obviously they're very, very hesitant, just given, you know, their upbringing and their circumstances in which them and

[Chisato]: 28:52

Yeah.

[Carter]: 28:52

I are meeting. You know, they're still very like,

[Chisato]: 28:56

Yeah.

[Carter]: 28:56

I'm not going to talk about my emotions with you, dude. That's fucking gay. Excuse my language. And I'm just like, you know,

[Chisato]: 29:03

No, you're totally fine.

[Carter]: 29:04

that's cool, man, but I'm always here if you ever need to buzz me up because I work nights. If you ever need to buzz me up, I'm here. your room I'm here the

[Chisato]: 29:14

Yeah.

[Carter]: 29:14

other the other people don't need to know about it

[Chisato]: 29:17

Yeah. Right,

[Carter]: 29:19

I'm

[Chisato]: 29:19

can

[Carter]: 29:19

here

[Chisato]: 29:20

we take off that

[Carter]: 29:20

and

[Chisato]: 29:20

mask

[Carter]: 29:20

I'm yet to

[Chisato]: 29:21

for

[Carter]: 29:21

get

[Chisato]: 29:21

a

[Carter]: 29:21

a

[Chisato]: 29:21

second

[Carter]: 29:21

buzz up.

[Chisato]: 29:21

and yeah.

[Carter]: 29:22

But that's okay. It'll happen one day. It'll happen one day. I think...

[Chisato]: 29:26

That's okay. Yeah, I think if you're continuously consistent and

[Carter]: 29:30

Yeah.

[Chisato]: 29:30

show them that you're a safe person and they realize it and they really feel it because like you said, they're upbringing, maybe they never had that person to be like, you know, I really am safe and has shown

[Carter]: 29:40

Yeah.

[Chisato]: 29:40

them that they're that you're really safe. So, you know, for them to be able to say, okay, well, you know what, I pushed them away multiple times, but he's

[Carter]: 29:48

Yeah.

[Chisato]: 29:48

consistent with me. You know, he's continuously been like, kind of with me, he never hit me, he never yelled at me, you know, like, I think that important with kids who have been through the trauma that they've been through to end up in the situation where they're meeting

[Carter]: 30:07

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 30:08

you or how they're meeting you, right? And I feel like the fact that you see them as people is probably very difficult for them. Like that's new for them. So once they realize like, oh, he's actually meaning what he's saying,

[Carter]: 30:21

Yeah, definitely.

[Chisato]: 30:21

that buzz will

[Carter]: 30:22

I think

[Chisato]: 30:22

come.

[Carter]: 30:22

the main reason why I ended up in the position that I'm in is because I really, really pushed the fact that I'm an empathetic person during the entire pre-employment process. You know, I was just like, they were like, you know, how would you feel working

[Chisato]: 30:38

I love

[Carter]: 30:38

with

[Chisato]: 30:38

it.

[Carter]: 30:40

child sex offenders or, you know, people that have murdered people, things like that? And I was just like, I'm not there to judge them. You know, everyone's got circumstances which led them to where they are today, I do, you know, a couple of horrible decisions that I made as a younger person could have led me exactly where they are. So I'm not there to judge them, I'm there

[Chisato]: 31:02

Yeah.

[Carter]: 31:02

to care for them and to provide them with the care that

[Chisato]: 31:06

Yeah.

[Carter]: 31:07

I've been employed to do so, not only as my job but just as a person. And I think, I mean, you said it best before

[Chisato]: 31:15

Thank you.

[Carter]: 31:15

is that there is just in pretty much, you know, communities worldwide. You live in California and I feel the exact same way as

[Chisato]: 31:27

Yeah.

[Carter]: 31:27

you. So, you know, this

[Chisato]: 31:30

Yeah.

[Carter]: 31:30

podcast is just,

[Chisato]: 31:31

I'm seeing that even in your position,

[Carter]: 31:34

excuse me.

[Chisato]: 31:34

you're like seeing beyond the label, right? Like you're seeing beyond the label of like criminal or sex offender of like murder. Like those are all labels. And you're like, well, I still see the person. Like, and then I'm seeing the person as the person, right? Like we all have a past. We all had made some bad choices, like all of us. We've all made good and bad choices. And if we only saw that person as. choice that they've made, we're gonna miss everything else. And I'm hearing that you see them as

[Carter]: 32:06

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 32:07

like an actual person

[Carter]: 32:08

so when

[Chisato]: 32:08

past

[Carter]: 32:08

we get

[Chisato]: 32:09

everything.

[Carter]: 32:09

a new boy in into our unit or anything like that, the general rule is that we would read through their file and that would come with seeing what their charges are. And I just don't, the only thing I look for in their file is worker safety to see if they have a history of assaulting staff. I feel like that's the only thing I need to be aware of. But because I work nights,

[Chisato]: 32:34

Yeah.

[Carter]: 32:35

I don't really have like, faith. face-to-face contact with them anymore. I worked days for 12 months and I did end up moving tonight due to an incident which is fine. It is what it is. So yeah let's keep going. Sorry I'm trying to look for a question.

[Chisato]: 32:57

No!

[Carter]: 33:00

So what inspired you to become an advocate for trauma-informed care your experience working with grassroots organizations

[Chisato]: 33:08

Yeah.

[Carter]: 33:08

to promote it.

[Chisato]: 33:12

Yeah. So funny story. It actually comes with multiple layers, I think. So, you know, like I said, I really started out in this field

[Carter]: 33:23

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 33:23

with trauma. You know, I was a rape crisis counselor and that I think really propelled me to formulate a lot of things with like, okay, let's look at it as like, a person as a person and then their environment and who they are. And like, there's so many things that I shape people. And then that really I think just really propelled a lot of what I do. The organization that I'm with, Trauma-informed LA for my volunteer position, that I think I actually joined because a friend of mine is the executive director and I can never say no to her. And she told me about this and she's like, just follow her, like you're so... You are so passionate about trauma-informed care as a therapist, right? That was my thing anyways. But I think finding out that we have this organization where we're really promoting that, I think was huge. And I was like, yeah, let me come in. So I started out as a volunteer coordinator and I again continuously say yes to a lot of things. So I'm very involved in them. And then my organization that I'm with for my full-time job, we are also acists and informed and we're very much trauma informed. So I think being involved in those multiple organizations and then also coming from a trauma background, I think just kind of led me to where I'm at. And I think it's, as a therapist and as somebody that teaches, sometimes I see that we use the DSM, the diagnostic and statistical manual that's sitting right here actually,

[Carter]: 35:09

Excuse me. Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 35:10

as like a quick point. most like I've seen I've seen especially new people which I absolutely understand because clinical skills are a skill where they'll just kind of be like oh I think I think I think I hear ODD and they'll just kind of open it up and be like check check check check oh yeah that's that's what it is but we don't look at

[Carter]: 35:28

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 35:28

like the bigger picture right we don't and and it's so important because if we use anything but like really like something diagnosed as a check like a cookbook and we're the person for who they are. Let's just start there. And then the second thing is we're actually not diagnosing properly

[Carter]: 35:50

Not only just using it as

[Chisato]: 35:51

because...

[Carter]: 35:52

like a cookbook but also understanding how long ago that cookbook was made. You know

[Chisato]: 36:02

Yeah.

[Carter]: 36:02

a lot of women in today's society have been misdiagnosed as BPD when it's in fact likely to be ADHD

[Chisato]: 36:09

Thank you. Thank you.

[Carter]: 36:10

because a lot of the markers for ADHD

[Chisato]: 36:12

Yeah.

[Carter]: 36:13

were only for men when it was created.

[Chisato]: 36:17

Yeah, absolutely.

[Carter]: 36:18

have been misdiagnosed

[Chisato]: 36:20

Yeah.

[Carter]: 36:20

over the years and yeah, there's been some experiences in my personal life where I've found you know women close to me have had that happen to them. Excuse me.

[Chisato]: 36:32

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's the thing, right? Like I think it's so important to, I'm always pushing like we need to see beyond the label. It was really specifically because of that, because I think when we just assume the label, everything kind of becomes about that, right? Like if somebody says, oh, this person has BPD. Oh, and that's why they do A, B, C and D. And then we miss like, well, actually it might be because they're struggling with ADHD that hasn't been diagnosed and they feel like they're not understood. And then that, right? I think sometimes we miss that and we forget that. So for me as somebody that has been in this field for a long time and now I'm a supervisor and also a professor, and I talk to my students a lot about diagnosis, is don't use the book as just like a check, check, check, check, check. You really need to sit down and look at everything the client is sharing and bringing to the table. And there are some things that they might not share, bring to the table and it really is important to see them

[Carter]: 37:37

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 37:37

as the

[Carter]: 37:37

definitely.

[Chisato]: 37:37

person they are. And you know, I truly believe that if we can do that, then the diagnosis becomes about how can we support them? It really should be helping to guide treatment and support. Not, well, that's why you do that. It's just becoming a label and just kind of becoming the reason

[Carter]: 37:54

Yeah, definitely.

[Chisato]: 37:55

for everything that they

[Carter]: 37:55

So

[Chisato]: 37:56

do.

[Carter]: 37:56

in your opinion, what

[Chisato]: 37:57

So,

[Carter]: 37:57

are some systemic

[Chisato]: 37:58

yeah.

[Carter]: 37:59

changes that you feel need to be made in order to improve access to mental health resources for children and families, especially those in underserved communities?

[Chisato]: 38:14

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's a great question. Um, I think one of the things would be just more knowledge about mental health even, right? Like, um, I, I've worked with, I worked with underserved communities for a long time in my jobs. And, you know, there is very much a stigma around asking for help, asking for help, acknowledging that there is an issue acknowledging that there is a mental health issue. So I think that's where it starts. Like let's talk about mental wellness. That's one. I think the second thing is funds. I can give an example. So when, again, both my kids are on the spectrum before they were diagnosed, they, one of them especially had speech therapy services. And, um, we

[Carter]: 39:09

Thank

[Chisato]: 39:09

had

[Carter]: 39:09

you.

[Chisato]: 39:09

Medicaid at that time. And one day I got a call saying, um, your Medicaid has been shut off. We run ran your Medicaid and it's been shut off so we can't see your child. And, um, we did not get a warning. It was going to get shut off. By the way, the phone call, there's no letter, nothing until afterwards. And, you know, That was just very, thankfully, you know, I worked full time at that time and I was able to get my kids on my insurance, but. I also think about people who

[Carter]: 39:48

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 39:49

are not able to do that. And part of my case management that I used to do was helping individuals, like let's say that happened with one of my clients where their Medicaid was cut off, I would go into case management mode and kind of help the caregivers call places that they have to call and really help them through it so that they could get it reinstated. But I feel like a lot of times there's so many barriers. let's say a parent is already overwhelmed. Let's say they're dealing with their own mental health issues, they're exhausted. Do we really think that they're able to sit and talk to five people about the insurance and feel like they're continuously getting a wall? No, right? Like, so what happens then they slip through the crack. So I do feel like that's, there are is a lot of walls as they're trying to open doors. And then I would say also there's individuals who don't qualify for state aid, for example, but still need some kind of support. Let's say they are not able to afford mental health services through their own insurance because it's still expensive. There's a gap for those individuals, too. Not everybody can afford $100

[Carter]: 41:13

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 41:13

sessions. So I think really acknowledging that, that yeah, there is, there is definitely a lot of work that needs to be done. One, to talk about mental health services and what's available and what you

[Carter]: 41:30

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 41:30

need to get to that point. How do you get these mental health services? We can talk about, oh yeah, well this agency exists, but are we assuming that everybody knows how to get to that agency?

[Carter]: 41:40

Yeah.

[Chisato]: 41:42

Are we assuming that that every single person knows? has the right insurance, knows what insurance is the right insurance by the way, knows what stuff they need to take because I'm going to be honest with say they probably don't. A lot of people don't. So I think that is like super important. I did community-based mental health for a long time. I went to clients' homes to provide services. I would go into schools if I had to. I would take them out if I had to, if that was like the best way to provide the services. So I think that flexibility is so needed.

[Carter]: 42:14

Yeah, definitely. Especially

[Chisato]: 42:16

I

[Carter]: 42:16

in

[Chisato]: 42:16

think

[Carter]: 42:16

underserved

[Chisato]: 42:16

all around.

[Carter]: 42:16

communities

[Chisato]: 42:18

I also think... Yeah!

[Carter]: 42:18

and the fact that a lot of underserved communities don't have access to a lot of educational resources and things like that. So they're already

[Chisato]: 42:28

Yes.

[Carter]: 42:28

a little bit

[Chisato]: 42:29

Yeah.

[Carter]: 42:30

behind the curve as far as emotional intelligence, things like that goes. Especially, you've got a lot of

[Chisato]: 42:36

Absolutely.

[Carter]: 42:36

people with

[Chisato]: 42:37

Yeah.

[Carter]: 42:37

fetal alcohol syndrome and other health issues stemming from their parents and the choices that their

[Chisato]: 42:43

Yeah.

[Carter]: 42:43

parents made. So they're already off to a

[Chisato]: 42:47

Absolutely.

[Carter]: 42:49

pretty upsetting start. And then to throw them in the mix and have all of this red tape, it would be so daunting to them. And

[Chisato]: 42:59

difficult.

[Carter]: 43:01

I understand

[Chisato]: 43:01

Absolutely.

[Carter]: 43:01

why they would just kind of throw their hands up in the air and just

[Chisato]: 43:06

Yeah, like,

[Carter]: 43:06

accept

[Chisato]: 43:06

oh, I can't

[Carter]: 43:07

the

[Chisato]: 43:07

do this.

[Carter]: 43:07

life

[Chisato]: 43:07

Is this

[Carter]: 43:07

that

[Chisato]: 43:08

as much?

[Carter]: 43:10

it wasn't their choice to have the life that they've got.

[Chisato]: 43:14

Yeah,

[Carter]: 43:14

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 43:15

this

[Carter]: 43:15

and

[Chisato]: 43:15

is

[Carter]: 43:15

that

[Chisato]: 43:15

just

[Carter]: 43:15

you

[Chisato]: 43:15

how

[Carter]: 43:15

know

[Chisato]: 43:16

it

[Carter]: 43:16

that

[Chisato]: 43:16

is.

[Carter]: 43:16

lack of empathy then comes

[Chisato]: 43:17

Yeah,

[Carter]: 43:17

into play

[Chisato]: 43:17

yeah.

[Carter]: 43:17

is that you know the community and society as a whole view those people as lesser than and

[Chisato]: 43:25

starts pointing the finger at

[Carter]: 43:26

You

[Chisato]: 43:26

them,

[Carter]: 43:26

know

[Chisato]: 43:26

right?

[Carter]: 43:26

you start they

[Chisato]: 43:27

Mm-hmm.

[Carter]: 43:27

start you know

[Chisato]: 43:29

Yeah.

[Carter]: 43:29

Saying you know lock them up. They're just criminals and they're this and they're that but they don't truly look behind those people

[Chisato]: 43:36

Oh,

[Carter]: 43:36

and

[Chisato]: 43:36

they're crazy. Like,

[Carter]: 43:36

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 43:37

you know, that's

[Carter]: 43:37

they don't

[Chisato]: 43:37

a them problem.

[Carter]: 43:37

they don't try to look at the bigger picture and understand as to why It is the way it is and it's they're just into this yet

[Chisato]: 43:45

So.

[Carter]: 43:45

again generational cycle and generational trauma of you know living in poverty and living with these

[Chisato]: 43:51

Absolutely.

[Carter]: 43:51

mental health issues without the proper supports in place to get them to where they need to be

[Chisato]: 43:56

Absolutely.

[Carter]: 43:56

and it's it's truly truly upsetting.

[Chisato]: 43:58

Yeah, I think one of the things that it is, yeah, it absolutely is. I think one of the things that, you know, we did as prevention early intervention that I feel like should be done all around is going into schools and talking about mental health, not only to the teachers and the parents, but also to the kids like being able to talk about, you know, let's talk about mental Hopefully, as the schools in general are more educated, that includes the teachers and the admin staff and everybody, including parents and the kiddos, then hopefully the school can also keep an eye out on, you know what, this kiddo might need the extra support and let's help them get to that point. And of course, that's gonna need, schools need resources too, but I think it also comes with their knowledge, because

[Carter]: 44:51

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 44:51

a lot of times schools don't know, school officials don't know, right, of what to look out for or what services are out there. So I think it kind of, you know, if there's a way to be able to do it as everybody, just as a society in general, and with multiple systems and not it only be like, well, schools do their own thing and the mental health does their own thing. And they like, instead of doing it that way, is there a way to come together, right? And work together so that these kids are

[Carter]: 45:20

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 45:20

not

[Carter]: 45:20

definitely.

[Chisato]: 45:20

falling through the cracks

[Carter]: 45:21

Yeah, it's,

[Chisato]: 45:22

of the

[Carter]: 45:22

it's,

[Chisato]: 45:22

multiple systems.

[Carter]: 45:23

you know, when, when you talk about it like that, it seems like such a simple solution to just pull all of the community resources together

[Chisato]: 45:29

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[Carter]: 45:29

and, and do that. I feel the same way. And

[Chisato]: 45:33

Yeah.

[Carter]: 45:33

I am constantly told that I have this utopian view.

[Chisato]: 45:36

I saw a bomb.

[Carter]: 45:37

No, that's, that's

[Chisato]: 45:38

I am

[Carter]: 45:38

fine.

[Chisato]: 45:39

so sorry. Give me one second. What baby? See that one more time? I saw a bomb. You saw a box. I think that's your box for Friday. Can you wait until Friday, please? I don't know what it is, but I'm assuming it's your box for Friday. Okay. I'm showing

[Carter]: 45:58

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[Chisato]: 45:59

them. Oh, okay. All right. Thank you. Okay. There's a box you're going to show me. Apparently there's

[Carter]: 46:06

Oh, beautiful.

[Chisato]: 46:06

a package at the front door. And he's very obsessed with Amazon and any kind of package that comes. He's like, it's mine. I'm like,

[Carter]: 46:14

Ha

[Chisato]: 46:14

it might not be yours.

[Carter]: 46:14

ha.

[Chisato]: 46:15

boring but

[Carter]: 46:15

Beautiful.

[Chisato]: 46:16

actually this one is like yes

[Carter]: 46:17

Of

[Chisato]: 46:17

so

[Carter]: 46:17

course he's excited.

[Chisato]: 46:18

he's

[Carter]: 46:18

Yeah, no,

[Chisato]: 46:18

very

[Carter]: 46:18

I'd be

[Chisato]: 46:18

excited

[Carter]: 46:18

excited too.

[Chisato]: 46:19

about it

[Carter]: 46:20

Um, I actually, a couple of podcast recordings ago, I had, um, I had planned it with a, a girl from Saskatchewan, Canada. Uh, and I had forgotten

[Chisato]: 46:32

Yeah! Mm-hmm.

[Carter]: 46:32

that it was a public holiday in Australia that day and the kids were off daycare and my wife was working. So I actually had all three of the kids sitting on my lap trying to talk to her. So please don't apologize. You know, kids are kids. this podcast

[Chisato]: 46:44

I am

[Carter]: 46:44

perfectly,

[Chisato]: 46:45

so sorry.

[Carter]: 46:45

you know, we just keep on keeping on with what we can do.

[Chisato]: 46:51

He is just um, I, I, okay. Baby, I don't know what these are. I need to open these later. Can you please wait? Oh, I know what this is. This is your cups. This is your cups. You and Aki can open it if you like. That's your cups. I think this might be, I'm actually pretty sure this is one, this is your shadow plushie or Aki's Ami plushie. You can get this on Friday, okay? Thank you. So I'm not a, But you can open that, I'm pretty sure that's your cup slot.

[Carter]: 47:24

No, that's okay.

[Chisato]: 47:25

Again, I'm so sorry, this is what happens

[Carter]: 47:26

It's totally

[Chisato]: 47:27

when there's a package at my door.

[Carter]: 47:27

fine. No apologies needed at all. I guess, you know, seeing you

[Chisato]: 47:31

Thank you. Bye.

[Carter]: 47:32

be a parent and the soft spot and the way in which you talk to your baby boy is a good segue to discuss the children's book that you published. Would you like to discuss that a little bit

[Chisato]: 47:47

Yeah.

[Carter]: 47:47

and how it addresses issues related to

[Chisato]: 47:50

Yeah

[Carter]: 47:50

autism and mental health?

[Chisato]: 47:54

Yeah, so the children's book I created, I actually, funny story, I actually wrote

[Carter]: 47:59

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 47:59

it in a night. It was because one of my kiddos was really struggling. He was having several days where he was really struggling at school and I really, my husband and I had a date night and we were sitting and talking about, well, you know, what else can we do? Because we constantly talk to him, right? We practice coping skills, but what else can we do? And I was like, well, you know, I've created like, like reminder sheets. I've done so many things. But we love reading with them. Like that is one of the things that we do with them and they love to read. So I was like, well, I wonder if there's a book out there where we can almost personify, like almost like the voices we hear in ourselves. That's like, yeah, make this choice. You know, we all have that, right? Where we're just like, this is a bad choice. But oh, I'm gonna do this anyways, like that little voice. And then the other voice that says, wait, think about your choices. Wait, hold up, hold up, that's

[Carter]: 49:01

Thank you.

[Chisato]: 49:01

not a good choice. So I was trying to look for it and I couldn't find anything that I felt like was what I was looking for. So I was like, well, if it doesn't exist, let me make it. So I wrote it for my kids. That was literally what I was doing. So it's a book on coping skills. There's a red choice monster and a green choice monster. about ways we can help the red-choice monster

[Carter]: 49:27

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 49:27

get smaller and never disappears because we all have that little voice in our head that says yeah make that choice anyways like eat that cookie not good for you but eat that

[Carter]: 49:36

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 49:36

cookie anyways right we all have that I know I have it and so I it talks about coping skills and ways we can cope and listen to the red-choice monster or the green-choice that and I self-published it on Amazon. It's called Go Away Red Choice Monster, where every time you do a coping skill you say, go away Red Choice Monster and the Red Choice Monster gets smaller. And then you know once it's small it goes to the Green Choice Monster and says, they're not listening to me, you know, maybe it'll listen to you and the Green Choice Monster gives some

[Carter]: 50:16

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 50:16

choices of what you can do, ask for help,

[Carter]: 50:20

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 50:20

use nice words, all that stuff. to make it kind of fun and really highlighting that we have choices and we have ways of calming ourselves down. And then I was able to connect with the publisher and they are currently revamping it and it's called Our Choices and it's not there's now a journal that comes with it as well. And the journal is created so that the child will write in it and then an adult

[Carter]: 50:51

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 50:51

will also back and forth. In my mind, I was thinking of the clients that, you know, maybe their parents worked multiple jobs and they weren't they weren't home all the time or they weren't able to have that like 20, 30 minutes where they can sit and talk about their choices or, you know, this is what happened today and I need to talk about it, but you weren't here. So I thought, you know, this would be a good way that one kiddos can practice journaling and they can do art and whatever they want to do. And there's several scoping skills sprinkled in throughout. And then the adults can too, and you know, really a model for them that we all have back that these two and that's okay. And here's a good moment that I had. And here's a not so great moment

[Carter]: 51:36

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 51:36

I had. And here's how I dealt with it. So that's coming out soon. That's being worked on. I've done my part. I'm just

[Carter]: 51:42

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 51:42

kind of waiting at this point. So I'm super excited. It really was it started as a simple concept of just wanting to have

[Carter]: 51:52

Yeah.

[Chisato]: 51:52

something for my kids. And I wrote And I shared it with several people and they all were like, you need to publish this. Like this would be so great because, you know, the more we can talk about clipping skills with kids, the better, right? And I, and I tried to make it as fun as possible so that adults can even read it too, hopefully, and they can enjoy it, not just kids. And it's, it's not there to shame the kids for, you know, listening to the Red Choice Monster. Again, all of us do sometimes. And that's okay. But it's kind of to remind us. them that

[Carter]: 52:25

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 52:25

there are ways we

[Carter]: 52:25

that's

[Chisato]: 52:25

can cope.

[Carter]: 52:26

absolutely amazing. I love it. So it was called go away red choice monster is that version of the book still available on Amazon

[Chisato]: 52:32

Yes.

[Carter]: 52:32

currently correct? Awesome.

[Chisato]: 52:34

Yes,

[Carter]: 52:34

I'll

[Chisato]: 52:34

on

[Carter]: 52:34

definitely

[Chisato]: 52:34

the Amazon.

[Carter]: 52:35

go have a look

[Chisato]: 52:35

Yes.

[Carter]: 52:35

at that. My wife and I have also written

[Chisato]: 52:38

Thank

[Carter]: 52:38

a children's

[Chisato]: 52:39

you.

[Carter]: 52:39

book. It's not so much a self help book, but I think it is a story that does need to be told. We have looked at self publishing, but finances are a little tight at the moment. So we had to put that on the shelf. But that is called girls can wear pants too. We are very, very

[Chisato]: 52:58

Oh, girls can

[Carter]: 52:58

pro

[Chisato]: 52:59

wear pants too, okay?

[Carter]: 53:01

non-gendered toys and things like that. We think gendered clothing and gendered toys is just perpetuating yet again, it's a toxic culture. So our book is

[Chisato]: 53:13

So

[Carter]: 53:13

hopefully one day going to come out and it'll be our little contribution to further changing the direction in which we are still kind of walking toward. Um...

[Chisato]: 53:29

Yeah, let me know when that happens. It's not if when

[Carter]: 53:31

It'll

[Chisato]: 53:32

that

[Carter]: 53:32

happen

[Chisato]: 53:32

happens,

[Carter]: 53:32

one day.

[Chisato]: 53:32

I would love

[Carter]: 53:33

We'll probably

[Chisato]: 53:33

to read

[Carter]: 53:33

talk

[Chisato]: 53:34

it.

[Carter]: 53:34

more

[Chisato]: 53:34

Honestly,

[Carter]: 53:34

off

[Chisato]: 53:35

yeah,

[Carter]: 53:35

camera

[Chisato]: 53:35

I know

[Carter]: 53:36

about

[Chisato]: 53:36

it will.

[Carter]: 53:37

the options available there. Excuse

[Chisato]: 53:38

Oh

[Carter]: 53:39

me. Before we wrap up, is

[Chisato]: 53:41

Thank

[Carter]: 53:41

there anything

[Chisato]: 53:42

you.

[Carter]: 53:42

else you want to plug or discuss or promote anything at all? You've got your blog, you can tell us about your blog if you wish.

[Chisato]: 53:53

I do. Yeah, yeah, I have a blog. It's called therapist mama bear and two awesome a us o m e cubs. Because my kids are awesome. And truly they are there. They're amazing little boys. So I have a blog I also you can also find me on Instagram at therapist mama bear where I have everything linked. And then you can also find me on Facebook as well. On my Every day I have like a little thing that I'll post. Monday I'll post about the post. I have ADHD, so I'm really bad at posting things unless I have

[Carter]: 54:30

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 54:30

a good like system. So I post a blog every Monday with my weekly tip. And then Tuesday I share a little bit about the family, whether it's, you know, right now it's how each of us copes. I just shared my first one yesterday about my husband He works out. I hate the gym. I suck at the gym. I've tried every time I go. I'm like, oh, this is too much It's it's too loud. It's too bright. So I stopped going Every time I try I keep I just keep stopping husband loves the gym. I walk outside. That's just kind of my thing at this point That's okay I've also shared about each of us our strengths or difficulties. You know, just kind of Share about my journey share about my husband a little bit I also share about my voice on Tuesdays and then

[Carter]: 55:19

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 55:19

Wednesday Wednesday. Just you know, a wellness tip. You know, what can you do to take care of yourself? We talk to our self care right? Sometimes you forget. So just a reminder to take care of ourselves on Wednesdays. And then Thursday, I do a thankful Thursday of just talking about something we can be grateful for. I'll give a prompt of just kind of helping everybody think. Then Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I kind of do like, pick videos of the boys or something funny that happened just to kind of get a laugh. Just to get a smile even. My kids have a to

[Carter]: 55:50

哼

[Chisato]: 55:51

yank up on me

[Carter]: 55:52

那又

[Chisato]: 55:53

and make some red choices. So I'll kind of share about that. You know, I'm like, I honestly, I have this

[Carter]: 56:00

Mm-hmm.

[Chisato]: 56:00

point I can laugh about it, which is fine. You know, and I tried to be as real as possible on my Facebook and my Instagram as well. So I would love it if people can follow me in our journey. You know, I really hope, my hope is that we can shed a little bit of light, whether it's mental health or autism, I do talk about both. And, you know, or if somebody just wants to like laugh at me getting ganged up on by my kids, that's

[Carter]: 56:29

Yeah,

[Chisato]: 56:30

fine

[Carter]: 56:30

definitely.

[Chisato]: 56:30

too.

[Carter]: 56:32

Awesome. Well,

[Chisato]: 56:32

So,

[Carter]: 56:32

I'll

[Chisato]: 56:32

yes.

[Carter]: 56:32

make sure to include all of your links in our episode description. Thank you so, so much for joining

[Chisato]: 56:40

to.

[Carter]: 56:40

me today. You are an absolute wealth of knowledge. Not only that, but you are possibly one of the most selflessly amazing, empathetic tour tour T people I have ever had the pleasure of speaking to.

[Chisato]: 56:55

thing. No.

[Carter]: 56:56

This will, I mean, it's

[Chisato]: 56:58

Thank you.

[Carter]: 56:58

my favorite podcast to date. I'm only new to it, but I think I'm going to have trouble topping it.

[Chisato]: 57:03

Thank you. Thank you.

[Carter]: 57:03

And if you would love to come back on, I'll have you any day, any day at all.

[Chisato]: 57:11

Please absolutely anytime I would love it. I I love your your vision for the podcast and I feel like we chatting with you was super easy and I love that I'm anytime you want me back I am

[Carter]: 57:25

Awesome.

[Chisato]: 57:25

always

[Carter]: 57:25

Awesome.

[Chisato]: 57:25

always

[Carter]: 57:25

Well, I'll

[Chisato]: 57:26

willing.

[Carter]: 57:26

be in contact at some stage in the near future then. Again. Thank you very

[Chisato]: 57:31

Thank

[Carter]: 57:31

much. Have a great

[Chisato]: 57:32

you.

[Carter]: 57:32

evening I believe it's it's probably what around five o'clock in California Yeah, almost

[Chisato]: 57:38

Almost 442?

[Carter]: 57:38

almost. I'm getting

[Chisato]: 57:39

Yep!

[Carter]: 57:39

a little bit better at differentiating the time zones It's it's it's still a little in a car. I'm horrible at math. So I'm getting there Thank you again. Have a have a great evening All right

[Chisato]: 57:54

Thank you, you too. Bye.