Solo Parenting and Mental Health: Kleigha's Story of Resilience, Community, and Self-Care

Welcome to Episode Four of Touched Out: A Mental Health Podcast for Parents!

In this compelling episode, we meet Kleigha, a brave Canadian mother of two, who shares her journey of solo parenting while managing her mental health. As an army wife living in Washington, Kleigha faces the unique challenges of raising a non-verbal two-year-old and a young baby alone while her husband is deployed. Her story is a powerful testament to resilience, community support, and self-care.

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussions on mental health struggles, online criticism, and pregnancy challenges. Listener discretion is advised.

Join us as Kleigha shares her personal experiences with:

Solo Parenting and Mental Health: Insights into the pressures and realities of solo parenting, and the crucial role of community support in navigating these challenges.

Facing Stigmas and Finding Strength: The stigmas surrounding motherhood, especially for those with neurodiverse children, and how Kleigha turns online criticism into teachable moments.

Navigating Pregnancy and Childbirth: The trials of managing gestational diabetes, an ectopic pregnancy, and the emotional rollercoaster of childbirth, highlighting the significance of a reliable support system.

Self-Care and Mental Health Breaks: Kleigha's recent self-care adventures, like her unique stay in a hobbit house, and the importance of taking mental health breaks.

Kleigha also delves into the intersection of ADHD and potential autism spectrum disorder in her family, showcasing her resilience and determination. Her story provides a relatable perspective on balancing personal needs with family responsibilities, shedding light on the mental health challenges many parents face.

Chapters

• 0:00 Solo Parenting and Mental Health Struggles
• 12:57 Facing Stigmas and Finding Strength
• 23:46 Navigating Pregnancy and Childbirth Challenges
• 32:44 Support Systems and Mental Health Breaks
• 44:34 Therapy and Self-Care for Mental Health
• 52:12 Friendship and Support in Parenthood

Transcript

[00:00:00] Carter: Trigger warning. The following podcast contains explicit language and discussions of sensitive topics that some listeners may find distressing, including miscarriage, child abuse, mental health issues, and birth trauma. Listener discretion is advised. If you feel triggered or overwhelmed at any point, we encourage you to pause the episode and take care of yourself.

[00:00:19] Carter: Welcome to episode four of the Touched Out podcast. Today we have Clea, a proud mother of two from Washington, joining us to share her story. In this episode, we discuss the importance of self care and reaching out to your community in times of need. Clea also shares the challenges of parenthood as an army wife when her spouse is deployed and the good and bad of being vulnerable on the internet.

[00:00:40] Carter: Including when her call for help video went viral on TikTok. We also touch on the importance of having a best friend to rely on and how it's helped clear and her family in times of need. Lastly, clear shares her journey of being diagnosed with ADHD and raising a two year old boy who was nonverbal, but not yet diagnosed.

[00:00:56] Carter: Stay tuned [00:01:00] for an 

[00:01:01] Intro: insightful and inspiring conversation with CLEAR. So today we have CLEAR, uh, CLEAR

[00:01:43] Carter: is from Washington, uh, 29 years old. Is that right? 

[00:01:47] Kleigha: It is. Yep. 

[00:01:49] Carter: Beautiful. Uh, first of all, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for, uh, taking the time out of your busy schedule to come on and have a chat with me. Uh, so first of all, we'll go through kind [00:02:00] of your history, your family, uh, give us a little bit of background information, and then we'll go from there.

[00:02:04] Kleigha: Um, so I'm actually not from Washington. I'm actually Canadian. And, uh, I'm from Alberta, Canada, and in 2015 I met my, or, yeah, 2015 I met my husband, uh, who is serving for the, uh, U. S. Army, and I met him one time and then left the country with him and moved away, and moved to Florida with him. And so now we've been married for, it'll be coming up on six years, uh, right away here and now we have two babies.

[00:02:38] Carter: Awesome. And how old are your babies? 

[00:02:40] Kleigha: Uh, my, our oldest is two. He turned two in January and our youngest is seven months. 

[00:02:44] Carter: Awesome. Uh, both boys, both girls, girl, boy? Uh, our oldest 

[00:02:48] Kleigha: is a boy and our youngest is a girl. 

[00:02:50] Carter: Beautiful. Uh, plan on any more? 

[00:02:52] Kleigha: I don't know. I'm a little scared. I'm, I, like, 

[00:02:57] Carter: I've 

[00:02:57] Kleigha: heard the jump from one to two is the hardest.[00:03:00] 

[00:03:00] Kleigha: Um, and my husband's deployed right now, so I have a lot less help than I normally do. But, um, Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to have any more. 

[00:03:09] Carter: Yeah, that's fair enough. I was always told the jump from one to two is the hardest. So we blindly jumped into having three and two to threes were way harder in my opinion.

[00:03:19] Carter: Yeah. You don't have enough arms. You're outnumbered by them. Yeah, it was a big, big adjustment. Uh, so my oldest is three, uh, turning four in like two weeks. Uh, my middle boy is two and we've got a little eight month old baby. So she's, uh, currently teething at the moment, which is super horrible. So I've had her in my arms for the last hour and then I was like, Oh, It's time to hand her over to my wife so I can do this recording.

[00:03:50] Carter: Um, uh, yeah, look, you miss it once you're out of it, but once you're in the thick of it, it's, it's a different story, but she's awesome. Yeah. She's, she's gone well. She's just [00:04:00] started sleeping on her own and sleeping through the night a lot better until the teething happened. Yeah, so I came across your TikTok account and that's how we got in contact.

[00:04:11] Carter: Uh, and the video that I saw originally was, um, a little bit of a, an upsetting video, but one that definitely resonated with me to an extent. You're having a little bit of a mental breakdown and, uh, it was a little bit of a, a little bit of a cry for help. Do you want to run me through how that video came about and what was kind of going on in the background before you decided to hit record and put that out into the world?

[00:04:37] Kleigha: Um, so my son is non verbal. He will, he will sign more and all done. And he's just recently started to, like, push me to lead me to things that he wants, but won't act, like, can't actually communicate and tell me what it is that he wants. So we're playing a lot of charades and guessing games. Um, and he's also in a bit of a hitting phase, [00:05:00] which works out not in his sister's benefit.

[00:05:03] Kleigha: A lot of the time. It's unfortunate. The first baby just has such a peaceful life and then everyone after that, you're like, oh my goodness, like you poor baby. Um, and so I was having just a day with him. He, we also were sick and I on that day would have been like my day one of. Getting sick, but I didn't know that I was getting sick yet.

[00:05:25] Kleigha: And so my throat was hurting and I actually thought that my throat was hurting from yelling at my son because we had just been Having such a challenging day and I was just so overstimulated and felt like I just was not being Not necessarily being a bad mom, but I just knew like all this isn't a great mom moment for me Like I'm not having this isn't a very great day And, um, he recently has also learned how to climb out of his crib.

[00:05:47] Kleigha: So now I have nowhere to trap him safely for five minutes so that I can go and take a little break without him getting into at least something. So I have baby proofed his room and everything, and he's now transferred into a toddler bed, [00:06:00] but I needed to put him in his room for five minutes so that I could go outside and take five minutes because I knew I needed to reset myself to To go back in and be maybe, maybe not like the complete parent I wanted to be, but just better than where I was in that moment.

[00:06:13] Kleigha: And, um, because I'm Canadian and living in the States, my, what my close village would be obviously is not close to me. And I do have some friends here. Um. But none of them live very close to me, and so we normally will communicate through Snapchat. And so, what I had done is I had went outside and recorded this video on Snapchat to send personally to uh, to two of my very good friends, to be like, oh my god, like, this is a day I'm having, I need, like, I need someone to just tell me I'm doing a good job or something.

[00:06:43] Kleigha: And then I didn't even actually send it to anybody. I ended up saving the video and not sending it because I just was like, this is too much for maybe even my friends right now. And maybe that's just something we record and is just like, never seen by anyone, but you feel better because you at least said what you needed to say.[00:07:00] 

[00:07:00] Carter: Little video diary. 

[00:07:01] Kleigha: Right. Just like a little bed sesh or something. And, um. Yep. Then I went back in and my son had, uh, so I believe he's showing signs of getting ready for potty training. So if he uses his diaper, he will almost immediately put his hands in his diaper. My belief is that he's uncomfortable and it's like, I don't like this.

[00:07:19] Kleigha: And because that happened while I was taking my break, There ended up being a mess in his room because I was taking a break and was not able to attend to him when I normally would right away. Um, so then the day just got worse and worse progressively actually, that wasn't even the worst of it. But, um, then later that night after, uh, going through it and I was just like, I had watched it again and I just, I, I hate having moments where you feel like no one else probably feels like you do, even though you know that there's other people that feel that way, and I, I didn't post the video until, I think it was two or three days later, because I just had it stuck [00:08:00] in my head of like how many other moms feel this way, and, Get shamed for reaching out for help or for asking help.

[00:08:07] Kleigha: And like, I, at that point I thought I had exhausted all of my options. Like I didn't know if there was anything else. And I was just like, you know what? I have nothing to lose anymore. Like if there's like maybe someone on Tik TOK can teach me something that I don't know, I'm just going to ask for help.

[00:08:22] Kleigha: And what's funny is, um, asking for help is one of my biggest weaknesses. My husband and I, um, oftentimes will like, I will wait until I'm so overwhelmed that I'm. Not nicely asking for help because I'm already melting down and breaking down because I just, I prolong asking for help too long. So, it's interesting to me when people are, uh, like, there's hate comments on my video about like, well, why don't you tend to your kid instead of doing this?

[00:08:46] Kleigha: And I'm just like, if you only knew. Like And I got so much information on there that like, I, I'm so happy that I posted that. 

[00:08:54] Carter: Yeah, definitely. So, uh, at the time of recording this, I did go back onto your TikTok [00:09:00] to check. It was, uh, 2. 6 million views, uh, and, uh, it was 197, 000 likes and 14. 4, 000 comments. I myself went through a whole bunch of comments.

[00:09:15] Carter: Uh, shortly before we started recording and while there was a lot of really supportive, like I'm with you mama, um, you know, you're not alone. There was a whole bunch of really beautiful kind of community spirit comments. There was. So much hate. So, so much hate. And it made, it made my heart drop. So why don't you tell me a little bit about after you posted the video and receiving those hateful comments, when you were already in a heightened state, how did that further affect your mental health?

[00:09:48] Carter: Or was it water off a duck's back? Were you like, fuck these people? 

[00:09:53] Kleigha: I don't know if I, well, so. So, prior to posting it, when I was, like, contemplating posting it, I knew I knew already [00:10:00] that, like, I mean, you're posting something like that on the internet. There's gonna be people that are gonna think it's ridiculous.

[00:10:04] Kleigha: So I did, like, make a mental note of, like, if you're going to do this, you already need to mentally accept there's going to be mean people. And you can't let that get to you. Because that's not going to be good for you. So if you're gonna do this, like, you need to, to try to, I mean, as much as you can, prepare yourself.

[00:10:21] Kleigha: Some of them have definitely been ruder than I expected. Um, but yeah, they don't bother me. Like, I don't feel like I, I know that I'm not a bad mom. I know that I'm a better mom for taking a break. And I also, No, and I mean, even if someone did post something like that for attention, they still were asking for help, and I just think it's so funny that there's people that are actually bothered by somebody asking for help and then getting it.

[00:10:44] Kleigha: Like, that just shows so much about, in my opinion, that they've most likely been conditioned to feel shame when they ask for help, that it's so strong that they even feel the need to then spread that shame to other people. It's just like, And so for me, I, a couple of the [00:11:00] videos, sorry, I, um, or the couple of the hate comments, rather, I did, uh, respond to, and it's funny, because with a lot of my friends, I'm very much like, don't engage with people who aren't positive, like, you don't need to address that stuff, like, don't waste your time doing that, but in this specific sense, I felt like I could use them as teaching moments of, like, Because some of these comments were actual thoughts that went through my head, um, as like a second guessing myself.

[00:11:24] Kleigha: And so I, um, I liked to use those to show other moms, like, hey, if this is a thought that you're having in your head, yeah, there's other people that like to think that way, but that doesn't mean that they're right. And you are allowed to ask for help. And they're not like people aren't bad people for asking for help.

[00:11:40] Kleigha: And we need to learn to do it sooner so that we're not so far broken before we get that help. 

[00:11:47] Carter: It's, it's definitely, I, I really did enjoy the, the positive comments on it and, um, it really was, uh, this beautiful sense of community, you know, worldwide and for that video to reach, you know, 2. [00:12:00] 6 or whatever it was, million, uh, views is, is massive.

[00:12:04] Carter: Yeah, I'm sure you didn't expect it to blow up the way it did. And, you know, I looked at your other videos. I saw that there wasn't anywhere near as many views. So that's why I, I felt the need to reach out to you because I was like, you know, this mama is in crisis and she's been brave enough to post this really, really revealing and raw video of herself just, just, just being like, I don't know what the fuck to do.

[00:12:26] Carter: Please help me. Um, and then there was just this. Such a defining line in the sand where people were like, um, I'm here to help and other people were like, you're a fucking shit mum. And, and it made me so angry because like 99 percent of these people would never, ever in a million years say it in your face, say it to your face, let alone, you know, like the fact that, yeah, you're probably right.

[00:12:49] Carter: A lot of them probably don't have kids and they're just on the internet just spreading hate because they're probably just. themselves. And they're probably quite jealous of you for [00:13:00] being brave enough to reach out in such a vulnerable moment and ask for help. So I definitely commend you for that. 

[00:13:06] Kleigha: It 

[00:13:07] Carter: was very inspiring to me.

[00:13:09] Carter: Yeah. Which is part of the reason why I wanted to reach out to you and learn more about you as a mom. So you say that your two year old is nonverbal. So that's, um, Is it non verbal, as in he's on the spectrum or is there something else? 

[00:13:24] Kleigha: Yeah, so we, we have our appointments set up for, it's called like early intervention here in this state.

[00:13:30] Kleigha: And, um, unfortunately the wait is just so long. So we have, which was another funny thing. So many people commented, like, teach him how to talk. I'm like, ah, why did I think of that? Like, God. Um, where they'll tell or they're, they're like enroll him in speech therapy and we have done that. And we've like, we have started that process, but the weight between the referral and the actual appointment is months.

[00:13:52] Kleigha: Like, so our appointment is in May and we're very excited to start that. But I was like, I know that already. I need like, what else can I do [00:14:00] on top of that before that? Because yeah, the overstimulation. For me, was, and it's, I know it's not his fault, like, I know that he's not, like, some rude kid that's like, Ha ha, I'm gonna annoy my mom and, like, make, like, drive her crazy with my sounds.

[00:14:13] Kleigha: He just wants to be able to talk, like, he's so frustrated because he can't say whatever it is that he wants to. It's just unfortunate that that also then triggers me, and I need to, like, that's my job to control that. I need to figure out how to do that myself, that's not his job. So, I wanted to, I just wanted all the help of whatever I could do to, to help.

[00:14:35] Carter: Yeah, definitely. And you yourself, you're diagnosed ADHD, correct? 

[00:14:39] Kleigha: Yeah, I'm diagnosed ADHD and I have in the last like year, I suspect that I might be on the spectrum myself, um, which now I've also started the process of, I did the RADS. Which I know isn't a diagnosis, but my number was definitely way higher than I thought it would be.

[00:14:55] Kleigha: So now I'm starting the process of, um, seeing if I also am [00:15:00] on the spectrum or not. 

[00:15:01] Carter: Yeah. And are you medicated for your ADHD? 

[00:15:03] Kleigha: I am starting last week, um, which I also have a doctor's appointment. So I was, I was on medication for it growing up. I w I did very poorly in school without medication. Like I couldn't even make it through the day without just like it being a disaster.

[00:15:17] Kleigha: Um, and then once I got into high school, I made the decision on my own to not continue being on medicine, and I did graduate, but it was like, I had to work very, very hard to get bare minimum, like, just barely passing grades. Um, and then once I moved with my husband, my mental health had started to dip, and I felt like I was struggling a lot with just, like, everyday things, upkeep of the house, and like, at that time, we only had two dogs.

[00:15:40] Kleigha: It's not like, in a two bedroom apartment. It wasn't like some extravagant thing that, you know what I mean? So I got back on medication and was doing great and then we decided that we wanted to start family and I didn't want to be on my medication while I was pregnant and breastfeeding and so then I had a break while we had our [00:16:00] babies and now That I'm done breastfeeding.

[00:16:02] Kleigha: I'm going to start getting back on my medication, which I think will help. 

[00:16:06] Carter: Yeah, awesome As far as your mental health goes, your husband, is your husband currently deployed or is he home? No, 

[00:16:12] Kleigha: he's deployed right now. 

[00:16:13] Carter: He's deployed. Okay. And as far as your mental health goes, how much of an impact does your husband leaving for, I presume, months, months on end, it would, I can't even imagine, you know, I work night shift, it's a 12 hour shift and mate, I have like the, the cameras connect to the internet.

[00:16:30] Carter: So I look at my kids, right? While I'm at work at night, so I can't even imagine how hard it must be for not only you, but your husband as well to, um, to just sacrifice so much, uh, and miss out on so much of seeing his kids grow up. 

[00:16:45] Kleigha: Yeah, it's like, it's such a pivotal moment, like kids grow, like in those younger years, they change so much in such a short period of time, right?

[00:16:52] Kleigha: Like. 

[00:16:53] Carter: Yeah. That's 

[00:16:54] Kleigha: going to be crazy when he comes back. 

[00:16:56] Carter: So how long has he been gone? 

[00:16:58] Kleigha: He left at the end of [00:17:00] November of last year, and he'll be back, um, within a year of that time frame. 

[00:17:05] Carter: Okay. So it's generally around a year? Yep. That he's gone, or within a year? I 

[00:17:10] Kleigha: think if you, if you send people, or if you send soldiers for more than a year, then their family can go with them.

[00:17:15] Kleigha: So they make it so it's just shy of that. We

[00:17:25] Carter: are proud to announce our children's book, Girls Can Wear Pants Too, is up for pre order. Head to the podcast Instagram and hit the bio link to sign up for pre order today.

[00:17:39] Carter: Save some money. 

[00:17:40] Kleigha: Lucky for us. 

[00:17:41] Carter: Typical, typical government stuff. 

[00:17:43] Kleigha: Yeah, yeah. 

[00:17:45] Carter: Yeah, right. Um, so November, so that's about six months. Gone. 

[00:17:50] Kleigha: Well, he'll be, it'll probably be closer to, I think, 10. Um. 

[00:17:54] Carter: I mean, from then till now. Till now, 

[00:17:56] Kleigha: like that's how long he's been hiding. 

[00:17:57] Carter: Yeah, about six months. Yeah. Yeah. [00:18:00] Yeah. Wow.

[00:18:00] Carter: Oh, yeah. I can't imagine it. 

[00:18:01] Kleigha: That's, it's crazy. He was, uh, he was always great about doing the kids bedtime routines. I think that's where, like, I've struggled the most is cause he's such a night owl. So if the kids woke up in the night, he, well, unless, the nights he was working, obviously not, but on the weekends, um, or the days that he didn't work the next day, if the kids were waking up, he typically would get up with them and do what needed to be done.

[00:18:22] Kleigha: And, uh, that is what I'm probably the most happy about as a team partner. Yeah. 

[00:18:29] Carter: So you've, you've got, you've got two and it's by yourself. So what I said before about going from two to three is a big change. Probably wouldn't be that much of a change for you if you had him home, it'd be about the same.

[00:18:43] Carter: Yeah, that's it. So both babies. Run me through pregnancy and birth, if you're happy to do that. Is there a good journey there? Bad journey? 

[00:18:55] Kleigha: Give me 

[00:18:55] Carter: all the dirt. 

[00:18:56] Kleigha: So, with my son, we, uh, we [00:19:00] intentionally conceived him. That took, it took about eight months, but the, the birth control that I was on, your body has to, like, regulate out after.

[00:19:06] Kleigha: So it was within, like, what would be considered a normal time period. I kind of overstressed for a little bit. I just was like, I, I was a little bit cocky and I thought I would just get pregnant right away, which is silly. Don't recommend that to anybody. It's a totally unrealistic expectation that women, and I mean, probably men who are excited to have babies do too, but it just like, it takes the fun out of it.

[00:19:26] Kleigha: And it, uh, just, it's an unrealistic expectation that then leads you to being sad and you don't like, that's not fun. Um, when we got pregnant and everything was fine until my stupid gestational diabetes test and I failed and I had, uh, gestational diabetes. I had it with both pregnancies, unfortunately. Um, and with my son, I was able to control it with diet and, uh, very minimum exercise.

[00:19:52] Kleigha: I don't know, I don't really like exercise. It's not a thing I really like to do. I know I should, but I don't like it. [00:20:00] Um, so yeah, I was able to manage it with him. I had to eat three scrambled eggs before, well, they didn't have to be scrambled, but I had to eat three eggs before bed every single night at like nine or ten o'clock to like, Avoid needing insulin.

[00:20:13] Kleigha: Um, I really hate needles and then unfortunately with my daughter I couldn't keep it diet controlled. So I did end up needing the insulin needle So my husband was also my doctor for months because he had to I couldn't do it myself He had to stab me in the arm every time And with my son I had to get induced because of my gestational diabetes and everything went fine.

[00:20:31] Kleigha: We had a normal vaginal delivery we did get a Uh, like an infection, and we needed antibiotics, so we had to stay there an extra day, but other than that, everything went smoothly. And with my daughter, my husband and I, one night, we're like, you know, maybe we want start trying for a second baby, like, that would be kind of cool, maybe, and at this time, well, I had, Um, sorry, backtracking here, ADHD moment.

[00:20:56] Kleigha: So we had my son and then when he was about [00:21:00] six months old, I, uh, fell pregnant and had an ectopic pregnancy. And so that would have been in August of 2021. And. Um, while that happened, or just before, we had figured, we had saw that I had a positive pregnancy test, but then my husband had to go away for training for a month in, like, the desert forest, and I couldn't talk to him.

[00:21:20] Kleigha: He had no phone, no nothing, was like, I, we call it playing camping. He hates when we say that, but I think it's very funny. And so while he was gone, we unfortunately figured out that this pregnancy was ectopic and I had to have, uh, surgery to have it removed. And I had to make all these decisions with him gone, and I couldn't even, like, talk to him or, like, consult him or get, I mean, like, not that I needed permission or anything, but just to be like, Hey, oh my god, this is what's happening, and you're the one person that obviously, I want to talk to you and I can't.

[00:21:51] Kleigha: Um, so my mom flew here from Canada to take care of my son so that I could go have surgery and everything was fine. I got to keep both my tubes [00:22:00] luckily, which for a lot of people isn't the case. Um, and so then after that, I was definitely. I would say traumatized, like it was pretty traumatizing going through it by myself.

[00:22:11] Kleigha: And so I was scared to get pregnant again after that for a while. And it was, uh, like a very touchy subject. And so then this was like where this moment now where we're like, maybe we do want to try for a second baby is like an oh my god moment because we had gone through this prior to the ectopic pregnancy.

[00:22:26] Kleigha: And so we, you know, try to make a baby, whatever, and we're hanging out and Then I like, think for a second, and I'm like, and I, I didn't communicate this to my husband, this was all internal dialogue, but I was like, I think that I'm late right now. And I was like, if I go take a pregnancy test right now, and it's positive, I'm not gonna be able to sleep.

[00:22:43] Kleigha: So I just made myself go to sleep. And I didn't find out. And then the next morning, when my husband went to work, actually, he might not have even been at work, but um, Then I took a test and it was positive right away, and I was already pregnant. So, um, that one happened way faster than we had [00:23:00] expected.

[00:23:01] Carter: Yeah. Wow. 

[00:23:02] Kleigha: And which is hilarious because her delivery was about the same. So, well, I got diabetes, but other than that, the pregnancy was totally fine. And, um, towards the end, I had gotten my membranes swept. And this was like, I think three days before my due date, where I was going to have to get induced again because of my diabetes.

[00:23:20] Kleigha: And I was really, I really wanted to have a labor start naturally and not, uh, not go through the induction. I knew I was getting the epidural because I got the epidural with my induction and that was great, loved that. So my labor had sort of started but wasn't consistent and I had went in once because I thought my water had broken but it hadn't and then another time I went in prior to that my contractions were three minutes apart.

[00:23:42] Kleigha: But I wasn't dilated enough, so they sent me home, and I was very, very, very mad at them for that. Very mad. But I did go home, and I didn't have her until a day later, so they weren't wrong. Like, they, they were right. But, um, I was just hanging out in my room, doing, like, laboring. I was using, uh, the comb trick.

[00:23:59] Kleigha: You, like, hold combs [00:24:00] in your hand, and it just, like, I don't know, changes your brain to thinking about whatever, to something else. And I was watching Naked and Afraid. I don't know why, but that's what's my favorite show. And it helps humble me if I'm like having a hard time because I'm like at least I'm not naked in Nicaragua with like mosquito bites all over my body.

[00:24:18] Kleigha: It just, I don't know, it's very weird. But so I was watching Naked and Afraid in labor and it finally was kind of getting to the point where I was like, okay, I think I need my husband to kind of come because he was just gaming. So I was like, I'm just hanging out like I'm fine being on my own and I'll let you know when I need you.

[00:24:32] Kleigha: And so then I was like, hey, I think I need you to come and like put some counter pressure on my back because I was having back labor. And he's like, cool, I'm just gonna say goodbye and then I'll come in. And I'm like, okay, cool, totally chill. And then my water breaks. And at this point, I had already anticipated that it might happen and I didn't want to make a mess.

[00:24:46] Kleigha: So I was already wearing one of my super cool grown up diapers. And so then we toss everything in the car. And as soon as my water broke, my contractions went to one minute apart. And my water broke at midnight, and the hospital was about a half an [00:25:00] hour away, on the army base, and my baby was delivered at 1246.

[00:25:06] Kleigha: So, I could have had her in the car, but I did not know, I didn't realize that, so the whole ride there, I couldn't sit down, I had to like prop my butt off of the chair, and that didn't clue into me that my baby was like, going to come out of my body very, very, very soon. Yeah, really low. Yeah, so we pulled into the hospital and he, he runs ahead and I'm like slowly hobbling through the emergency.

[00:25:32] Kleigha: Well, I wasn't even at the doors yet. And they basically wheeled me in to, like, once I got a wheelchair, I was already throwing up because I was already in transition now at this point, which I did not know. And they basically, Pulled my pants off, checked how dilated I was, and then turned me over onto the gurney, and I was pushing, and she was out, like, about ten minutes later.

[00:25:54] Kleigha: So I, oh, and I was screaming for the epidural the whole time, and 

[00:25:56] Carter: the 

[00:25:58] Kleigha: doctors were looking at my husband 

[00:25:59] Carter: like, 

[00:25:59] Kleigha: [00:26:00] like, you could tell they didn't want to say no, and she was like, just push and it'll feel better, and I remember looking at her like, are you crazy? Like, I, and she was right. But at the time I just and with my son, I pushed for two hours.

[00:26:13] Kleigha: So I just, I figured I had more time, but my, and I can already tell she's going to be a spitfire of a child because she was like, no, I'm coming right now. So, yeah, so I didn't get enough. 

[00:26:23] Carter: So both, both babies were healthy upon delivery. No, no issues apart from the infection. Well, I reckon if my wife, uh, was to be talking to you right now, she'd probably tell you to get fucked because all three of our deliveries were fucking horrible.

[00:26:43] Carter: Oh 

[00:26:44] Kleigha: no. 

[00:26:44] Carter: Um, yeah, I've, I've already gone into it a little bit in previous episodes, but I'm going to do, I think I'm going to do a, like a 10th episode special with my wife so she can really go through everything that happened. 

[00:26:56] Kleigha: Birth trauma is I mean, like, not that [00:27:00] I ever thought it wasn't, but like, not enough people know about birth trauma and how much it affects people.

[00:27:06] Carter: Yeah, definitely. And not only for mother, but for dad as well. That's 

[00:27:11] Kleigha: what I was going to say, for the family. 

[00:27:13] Carter: Yeah, just, just so you know, um, first baby was born, uh, shoulder dystocia, vaginal, uh, vaginal birth. Born unresponsive and wife hemorrhaged, so that was my first experience of fatherhood was holding my baby after they'd worked on her for over a minute, uh, and managed to revive her.

[00:27:33] Carter: And then looking over and seeing my wife like bleeding out and projectile vomiting all over the hospital staff. And it was, yeah, it was a lot, it was a lot to deal with. Uh, my second, Baby was emergency Caesar, uh, another hemorrhage for mum. And then he was rushed to NICU at 16 hours old to undergo like emergency surgery.

[00:27:53] Carter: Cause he had a twisted bowel. Um, so they were like, you know, there's, there's a chance that his bowel. Could be [00:28:00] partially dead or fully dead. If it's partially dead, we'll try our best to cut that part of the bowel out and he'll live with a stoma and a colostomy bag for his whole life. If it's fully dead, then it's probably not viable and he'll most likely pass.

[00:28:13] Carter: You won't survive without a bowel, obviously. We were very, very lucky. We were in the kind of smaller percentage that everything was still okay. And we caught it quick enough for it to be repaired. So they basically made an incision, pulled, All of his insides out and rearrange them and put them back in, uh, and he's, he's all good.

[00:28:32] Carter: Now he's just, uh, he just has a little scar on his belly. Um, so that was very lucky. And then our third baby was born via emergency C section under general anaesthetic because my wife had seven epidurals and none of them worked and she could still lift her legs and feel everything. 

[00:28:48] Kleigha: Yeah. 

[00:28:49] Carter: And she, she has.

[00:28:51] Carter: An acute fear of needles because of just in general, she has an acute fear of needles, but the first birth, we had a really horrible, and, 

[00:28:59] Kleigha: [00:29:00] uh, Yeah, 

[00:29:01] Carter: and she was like, stabbing my wife in the back, not even where her spine was, and then my wife was like screaming for her to stop, and she gave us attitude and all of this, so she had Some pretty bad trauma around that.

[00:29:13] Carter: So to get stabbed like seven times and have a team full of like a room full of these doctors being like, I don't know what the fuck's going on. I don't know why this isn't working. Like we're gonna have to put her to sleep. So they put her to sleep and you know what generally is around 45 minutes to get baby out and.

[00:29:29] Carter: Uh, Stitch mama ended up being around five hours and she lost like over three liters of blood and was pretty close to not being with us anymore. So, yeah, none of it was straightforward. All of it was pretty, pretty all over the place. So, I mean, congratulations on having your two healthy babies, but also, also fuck you.

[00:29:50] Carter: Yeah, straight up. 

[00:29:52] Kleigha: Well, 

[00:29:55] Carter: my wife for the first one had a, what's it called? [00:30:00] Where your ankles swell up real bad. 

[00:30:01] Kleigha: Oh, uh. 

[00:30:03] Carter: Preeclampsia for the first and the third. Uh, and they had also thought that it was, uh, gestational diabetes as well. But that was never officially diagnosed. What? So, yeah, that was, that's, that's my birth stories.

[00:30:17] Carter: Yeah, oh my god. Um, vastly different to yours. That's traumatizing for everybody. 

[00:30:19] Kleigha: I mean, ugh. 

[00:30:21] Carter: Yeah, that's it. 

[00:30:22] Kleigha: Sorry, are you guys going to 

[00:30:24] Carter: have four? Look, we always planned on 

[00:30:26] Kleigha: four. 

[00:30:26] Carter: But after, you know, all of those three births and her almost dying, I just feel like 

[00:30:33] Kleigha: we're still 

[00:30:34] Carter: undecided. At the moment, we're like, no, we're not going to have four.

[00:30:37] Carter: But I'm also not allowed to get a vasectomy just yet. 

[00:30:41] Kleigha: say, when people ask me, I'm like, well, I got birth control, back on birth control immediately. So the original plan was that I was going to have the marina placed, which is like, you know, the little T birth control. Because my plan was that I was going to get an epidural with my second, because my epidural with my first went great, they did a great job, and I also really don't, [00:31:00] well, I'm better about needles now, but getting the epidural was something that was like, I was very, very, very scared to do, but I, my number one fear actually was having a baby with no epidural.

[00:31:09] Kleigha: Haha, sucks to be you, mom. My kids love me, but, um, yeah, I just was, Uh, I was so terrified to not get it. Well, I told my husband, I was like, if we did have another one, then I'm just gonna labor in the parking lot of the hospital. So, cause I mean, I've heard they come faster and faster each time, typically. I don't know how you can be faster than 46 minutes.

[00:31:32] Kleigha: So Um, but yeah, I told my husband, I was like, I'm, we're not booking a vasectomy for my husband yet. However, and he thought he wanted five, which I knew when we got together, I used to laugh and tease him all the time. I'm like, yeah, until we have one, maybe two, and you're going to change your mind, which is exactly what happened.

[00:31:49] Carter: My wife wanted 10 when we got together. She wanted, she wanted a football team, you know, um, I never really wanted kids until I met my [00:32:00] wife, like I just had to meet the right one. And then I was like, yeah, no, I definitely want to have babies with you for sure. But yeah, I was like, she wants 10. I kind of settled on 2.

[00:32:09] Carter: I was, I would have been happy with 2. So I was like, I was like, we'll do 3. And we always agreed for 3. And then. After two, I was like, maybe four, four would be all right, because you, after a while, you forget about the trauma a little bit and you just, it's rose tinted glasses and you miss the smell of the babies and you want to smell that intoxicating scent again.

[00:32:31] Carter: Um, so I guarantee in another six to 12 months, I'm going to get clucky as all fuck again and be like, let's have another little baby. 

[00:32:40] Kleigha: Yeah, I got the five year birth control. So I'm, I'm like, you know. But if we did decide to have one more, I think that I would feel like, not that we have to, but I feel like I would rather, it would either have to be two or four.

[00:32:53] Kleigha: Because if I had, like, because if we did have another one, it would be, like, in a couple years. And so then I would want them to have a [00:33:00] sibling that's probably not as close as my first two, that was a little crazy, but close ish in age. 

[00:33:06] Carter: Yeah, that's, that's what my wife always thought as well. She never wanted to have an odd number of children because everyone has to have their buddy.

[00:33:12] Carter: Yeah, 

[00:33:13] Kleigha: there's always one left out. I don't want that. That's just setting up for too many fights and I don't want to deal with that. 

[00:33:18] Carter: Yeah, she always thought, you know, like, if it's an odd number, you've got this. The, the one that's always just going to be a bit weird and I'm one of three. So I think I'm the weird one, but I'm like, I'm like, well, if you think that, why did you marry me?

[00:33:32] Carter: You know, I am the weird one. And she's like, yeah, fair enough. Cause she's one of, she's one of four. 

[00:33:38] Kleigha: Oh yeah. 

[00:33:38] Carter: But yeah. I mean, we'll see what happens. We never know what the future holds. 

[00:33:43] Kleigha: I can't make a for sure decision, but I did start to sell some of our baby stuff. I'm like, cause if we do have another one, then we'll just get new stuff.

[00:33:50] Carter: Yeah. So, now that you've got the two, you're on your birth control, you've had your little mentee bees, what's your mental health [00:34:00] currently at now? What's your level? 

[00:34:02] Kleigha: Currently, it's a lot better. After reaching out for help and getting like so much help, just not like just online with like advice and ideas.

[00:34:10] Kleigha: And then, um, I also, I think it was the day, was it the day I posted the video? I think it was the day I posted, or the day before I reached out to my best friend's mom. So my best, my best friend that does live in this state, um, she lives about an hour and a half away ish, but her mom, whom I love, lives about 15 minutes away.

[00:34:31] Kleigha: And so, I've always had her, which is another thing, where people are like, reach out to your village! And like, I have a lot smaller of a village than I would have if I stayed home, but I do have people that are close by, but I'm so bad at asking for help. And so after I had taken that video, I did decide to reach out to my best friend's mom and had asked her if she could take my kids for the day.

[00:34:49] Kleigha: And she actually took one she took my son for a day overnight and then overnight again. And I had my daughter for the first night, which was nice because her and I haven't had any one on one time probably since [00:35:00] I was in the hospital with her. And then she took my daughter as well for the second night, which I ended up getting sick.

[00:35:05] Kleigha: So it's not like I could enjoy it, but I was able to be sick without having to mom at the same time. And that was amazing to actually just be able to be able to relax. Um, yeah. And not deal with screaming for just more than like the only time I'm sleeping. So it was a very nice reset. And then. My mom actually came out, I think, four days later, which did also play a part in why it took me extra long to ask for help, because I knew my mom was about to be there.

[00:35:32] Kleigha: And so I was having a hard time, and I was like, there's only like three or four days left, and then your mom's gonna be here, you're gonna get a break, and everything's gonna be fine. Like, do you really need to reach out and ask for help right now, or can you Push through, and it was okay that I couldn't push through when I needed help sooner than that.

[00:35:48] Kleigha: And that's just like where I, I, it took me a second to figure that out. Rather than, that it's okay to just ask for help rather than pushing yourself past your own limits when you do have resources. And not everyone has that luxury, I [00:36:00] know. And I just, I can't imagine not having anybody to be able to call for, for help in moments like that, or like single moms who are by themselves and working and have more kids than I do.

[00:36:11] Kleigha: And I'm just like, Oh my gosh, like I have a lot more men TBs for sure. 

[00:36:18] Carter: Yeah, definitely. I think as far as, you know, people not having anyone to reach out to, it may be the case for a lot of people. They don't have anyone that they know personally to reach out to, but there are always things available. You know, you've always got help lines and everything like that.

[00:36:34] Carter: I'm not sure of what the help lines are in America, but we have, you know, lifeline and beyond blue here. Uh, and they are absolutely amazing resources. I am a massive advocate for therapy and going to a psych or anything like that. Are you, uh, currently in therapy or are you looking at doing that? 

[00:36:52] Kleigha: So I've done therapy a couple of times and I, I'm actually sad because my therapist that I had when I was in Florida was great, but because it's on [00:37:00] the other side of the country, my insurance continue to cover her because I moved.

[00:37:05] Kleigha: So I have to start over again, which is always like, ugh, like, sucks. But, um, I am getting back into therapy as well as, uh, seeing a psychologist about my ADHD. To, like I said, like, better prepare myself. And I tell people all the time, like, therapy has already saved my marriage on a couple accounts. In terms of, like, when I first moved away from my family, my mental health was probably in one of the worst places it's ever been.

[00:37:30] Kleigha: Like, I just, I grew up in such a small town and was surrounded by so many people that I knew all my life, to moving to the other side of the country where there's no one I know. Um, and I had no car either yet at this time because I, we didn't know if I was actually going to marry this man or if I was just going on a vacation with a cool guy for a couple months and it actually wasn't going to work out or not.

[00:37:49] Kleigha: Like, I don't, I didn't know. We did get married a year later. Um, but yeah, so I did do therapy, res in Florida, and it, it helps every time it helps me [00:38:00] so, so much. Like, I, like, honestly, I think everyone should go to therapy, even if you think you don't need to, because there's everyone needs to go to therapy.

[00:38:08] Carter: Yeah, 100%. I, um, I've already said this in a previous podcast, but I, I like in therapy to, it's like going to the gym, but for your mind, you go to the gym to keep your body healthy. And you need to, yeah, you need to go have a chat about your feelings, even if you don't think you need to. So as far as your therapist that you got along well with goes, was there ever a possibility of you like doing zoom meetings with them or is that something that, that they just, they just won't cover it for insurance?

[00:38:39] Carter: And 

[00:38:40] Kleigha: it's so dumb because the insurance is called Tricare, but there's Tricare East and Tricare West. And so because I was on the East one and now I'm on the West one, it's just like not. Transferable to the other side of the, it's stupid. 

[00:38:56] Carter: That's unfortunate. It's, uh, it's really, really hard to [00:39:00] find a therapist that you can actually bond with and get along with.

[00:39:03] Carter: And 

[00:39:03] Kleigha: it takes a couple of tries sometimes to, to find one. 

[00:39:06] Carter: It really does. I've been in therapy in and out my whole life, and I've probably seen, you know, 15 to 20 different therapists over the years. Uh, and it's not until. The latest therapist that I've had for the last couple of years luckily through my work I get free therapy just due to the the kind of work that I do 

[00:39:26] Kleigha: right I do two things to my husband thank goodness 

[00:39:29] Carter: yeah yeah so I can see her whenever I want pretty much um and she is great she provided me with all of these tools that I didn't have to kind of deal with my own mental health and she really put me on this journey of self discovery and that's part of the reason why I now.

[00:39:48] Carter: Have my ADHD and autism diagnosis. It all started with her. So yeah, she's been great. I can't, I really can't advocate enough, not only for therapy, but to, if you have a therapist [00:40:00] and you don't gel with them, don't give up. Just go for it. Keep trying and find that person say I, I've had therapists that have like blamed me for things.

[00:40:10] Carter: I've had therapists that are like, you should do yoga or you should just try meditating. And 

[00:40:15] Kleigha: you're like, oh, my gosh. If one more person tells me that. Yeah, 

[00:40:18] Carter: I had one person like, tell me to, um, convert to Buddhism. I've had one tell me to, you know, find Jesus again because I have a lot of 

[00:40:30] Kleigha: comments too on my video.

[00:40:31] Carter: Yeah, we won't get into religion because that's a, that's an entire podcast on its own. Um, but I have a lot of trauma surrounding, uh, being brought up as a Catholic. So, you know, finding Jesus again was never going to be an option for me. So yeah, a lot of therapists really, really. They push their own personal agenda, and those people suck and don't go see them.

[00:40:56] Carter: Just keep going and finding, finding the one that, that suits you best and we'll [00:41:00] actually get you. And my therapist has been through a lot of the stuff that I went through as a kid and growing up. Uh, so her and I just gelled straight away. And almost like a trauma bond, I guess, but in a more professional manner.

[00:41:13] Carter: So now that you've kind of, you're back on track and you're looking To the future and you're promoting good mental health within yourself, what, uh, what does your day to day look like currently? And what are some things that you've put in place to ensure you don't overflow and, you know, keep up with some self care and everything like that?

[00:41:33] Kleigha: Yeah. Well, um, I stayed in a hobbit house the night before last. A hobbit 

[00:41:40] Carter: house? 

[00:41:41] Kleigha: Yes. So, um, my best friend and I Are you 

[00:41:44] Carter: in New Zealand currently? 

[00:41:45] Kleigha: I know, right? I was like, what are the odds? So my best friend and I, it was our friendiversary, uh, the day before yesterday. And so my mom had come and we had planned our trip around when my mom would be in town so that both of our moms could take our kids.

[00:41:58] Kleigha: Um, there's this app [00:42:00] here called Hip Camp. And they find you all these really cool camping spots, or like, yurts, or tents, or tree houses. And I found an actual hobbit house that these people made. It's like a little Airbnb in the back of their yard. And it's a full on little hobbit house with a little futon, and table and chairs, and a little campfire outside, and that's it.

[00:42:20] Kleigha: And I was like, this is the coolest freaking thing ever, I love Lord of the Rings, do you want to stay in a hobbit house with me? And I accidentally only booked it for one night instead of two, so that's why we're in a hotel room now, because I, I, I messed up. But we did get to spend one night in the hobbit house, and so it's, this has been my mental health reset of, and we were actually saying like, We should try to do this, like, I don't mean, I know it's not feasible for everybody, but we were like, every three months or so it would be so nice to just to be able to do this and get away from our, as much as we love our children, to get away from them for like a day and another day is just so nice.

[00:42:54] Kleigha: And like, we got to actually go and sit for coffee and go in a bookstore and we didn't have boogers on us or children [00:43:00] crying or like, it was just, it's, it's been really nice. 

[00:43:05] Carter: So your bestie's there with you at the moment, is she? Uh, hi, bestie. 

[00:43:09] Kleigha: Hi. Can I say hi? I can say hi. Oh, she'll come peek over and say hi.

[00:43:14] Carter: Awesome. I'd love to hear from her. I thought 

[00:43:15] Kleigha: about, like, I thought about scheduling us, uh, after I was back, but I was like, this is the perfect opportunity where I'm in a room where my kids aren't here too, that I was like, this, this will be nice. So I've been really excited. Awesome, 

[00:43:28] Carter: beautiful. And how long have you guys been friends?

[00:43:31] Kleigha: Um, exactly a year and two days. 

[00:43:35] Carter: Awesome. And she is close to you or in Canada? 

[00:43:39] Kleigha: She's here. So she's this, she's my best friend whose mom came and took my kids. So she lives about an hour and a half from me 

[00:43:45] Carter: and 

[00:43:46] Kleigha: our sons, her son is, uh, his birthday is coming up in a couple of days here. So our sons are only about three months apart in age.

[00:43:52] Carter: Awesome, how did you guys meet? 

[00:43:54] Kleigha: Um, we were both military wives, and we were, I think we were commenting in a Facebook group about [00:44:00] babysitting, and we were making really dumb jokes. No! Wasn't that what we were doing? I commented that my due date was March 28th. Oh, our due dates were similar. And I was like, I just want friends with like, similar due dates.

[00:44:14] Kleigha: Because I want friends with kids around. And I was like, pick me! And then we started making fun of the same people for the same things. Yeah. And then we just realized we were the same thing. Yeah, we bonded over a Awesome. There was a lady who made like a Oh, it was the lady who posted about being a babysitter, but she was not a nice lady.

[00:44:29] Kleigha: Like, everyone who commented, she kept like, being mean to them. And we, we did not inter engage in this, but we were just like kind of behind the scenes like, oh my gosh, could you imagine someone actually hiring this like, mean lady to like, watch their kids? And then, then we ended up meeting up at a children's museum for a play date, and uh, We basically fell in love at first sight because we were hilarious and now we're unpreparable.

[00:44:57] Kleigha: We've been friends on social, like we've had each other on Facebook and [00:45:00] Instagram for probably like a year before we, a year and a half maybe even before we actually hung out. Well, no, because then our kids would have been already born when we met. Well, they were born when we met, but we were already halfway through our pregnancies when.

[00:45:11] Kleigha: No, I posted about being due pretty early. I was only 10 weeks. Because I just found out Keith was a boy, so that would have been August of 2020. Yeah, but I didn't even live here yet. Oh. So I moved here in August of 2021. Or no, sorry, I moved in, I moved here in early September of August 2020. And then we were in a hotel for three months while I was 20 months, 20 weeks.

[00:45:34] Kleigha: Pregnant with two dogs. It felt like you were 20 months pregnant. It did feel like I was 

[00:45:39] Carter: 20 months pregnant. Wowee. Yeah, my wife went 34 weeks and yeah, she, she felt like it was 20 months as well. Yeah, I was 

[00:45:47] Kleigha: 41 with my son and I was 39 and 34. 

[00:45:52] Carter: I said 34. Did I? I said, I meant 43. 

[00:45:54] Kleigha: I think it was 

[00:45:56] Carter: 43 and 2. We had, we had, um, [00:46:00] obstetricians just begging us to, to induce, but we were like, nah, we, we are pretty keen for a V back, a vaginal birth after cesarean.

[00:46:09] Carter: If I 

[00:46:10] Kleigha: wouldn't have, um, if I wouldn't have had diabetes, I wouldn't have let them induce me either. I would have been like, no, he's coming when he's coming. It's not that big of a deal. But, um, yeah, the diabetes freaked me out and I was scared. 

[00:46:21] Carter: Yeah, so she went to 43 and two. I believe that was the correct number.

[00:46:25] Carter: I'm not great with numbers. So I'm sure she'll, oh, she is such a badass dude. You have no idea. I don't know how she did it. 

[00:46:33] Kleigha: Did you get her a medal or something? Like, 

[00:46:36] Carter: No, but I give her foot rubs pretty often. Counts. 

[00:46:38] Kleigha: That counts. 

[00:46:40] Carter: It counts, right? I give her foot rubs and I sometimes make dinner. 

[00:46:45] Kleigha: Counts. 

[00:46:46] Carter: So, I mean, the fact that you've, you know, got your bestie there and you're able to refill your, uh, refill your cup is great.

[00:46:53] Carter: It's great to see you smiling. When I was first introduced to you via TikTok, you were crying everywhere and [00:47:00] broke my heart. So it makes me feel very happy to see that you're, uh, you're in a great place at the moment. And I really do hope that you're able to continue on this journey a lot more positive than.

[00:47:11] Carter: What it, what it was when you posted that. So the fact that you had that cry for help and you received all of that help without thinking about all of the hate that you received, because fuck those people. 

[00:47:22] Kleigha: Great. 

[00:47:22] Carter: Where to from here? What's the next step? 

[00:47:25] Kleigha: Um, well, my next steps were for me getting, uh, Back into therapy and back on medication.

[00:47:32] Kleigha: And then for my son, we I've ordered a couple things. I've been I want to do the, uh, the PECS boards. But I've seen, like, there's so many ways to go about them. Like, some people actually print their own pictures of everything. And then, so that their kids can point to what they need. I don't think I like my ADHD part of me is like, cool, a new project.

[00:47:53] Kleigha: But the realistic part of me is like, we're not going to finish it, bitch. We're going to want to finish it. And it's never going to happen. So I think I'm just going to buy [00:48:00] one first to see if that works. If it doesn't. And I need to, to do a craft project than I will, but I'm going to try and kind of take the easier way out to start and hope that that works first.

[00:48:11] Kleigha: Um, like that's such a project that I just. If I had more help and like, if my, well, and my mom's here for now, but, and maybe she can help me and we could do it, but yeah, just the, it seems a bit daunting to take on that big of a project to start with. Um, so I want to start with teaching him yes and no, because that's what we don't have yet.

[00:48:30] Kleigha: And that will, that would really, really help communication wise. So that's what I'm going. We go back home today and that's going to be my focus is. Working on yes and no with my son. 

[00:48:41] Carter: Yeah. Awesome. Awesome. Oh, it's great to hear. Everything's kind of falling into place with you. I would love to do another podcast with you a little down the track, just to check in with you, perhaps we'll schedule one when your husband's home.

[00:48:56] Carter: So we could even maybe chat to him if he was interested in doing [00:49:00] that. Cause I would love to hear his perspective on mental health and everything surrounding that and how he gets by being gone for so long, but until then. Keep up the good work. Uh, keep the chin up. Keep fighting the good fight. Have more mentee bees if you need.

[00:49:14] Carter: Reach out more if you need. Just leave it out in the open and don't let the haters get to you, mate. Thank you so, so much for joining me today. I really appreciate it. Oh, you're more than welcome mate. Anytime. Uh, and thank you for Bestie popping in and saying good day and giving a little bit of her perspective on everything.

[00:49:33] Carter: It's been really great. Enjoy. Have a good time. 

[00:49:35] Intro: You too. Thank you so much. 

[00:49:36] Carter: See you later. 

[00:49:39] Intro: Wake up, it's another day. Try and find a way to make it so my life's a better place. If there's one thing I see, then the only thing is me. Just knowing that I'm trying to [00:50:00] make a change. Can I put it all on me?

[00:50:04] Intro: Responsibilities. And all the other nonsense coming by repeatedly. But there's one thing I know. It's knowing to let go. Just knowing that I'm trying to make a change.